Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Update November 2014: I grew a beard, I like it and am going to
keep it a while. One of my photos also had an incorrect caption for
a while as my phone substituted the word bikinis for the word
hijinks. Guess I should've went with shenanigans.
Mostly happy, somewhat sleepy, terribly funny, I am always
respectful, I try to be kind, and despite the fact that I wish I
weren't, I am a rule-follower (most of the time). I will probably
confuse you (I was once told that I have about 75% of a
conversation with the remainder occurring in my head). I'm usually
kind but i don't try to be nice. Nearly infinite capacity for
snark, miniscule capacity for mean (which is generally unused). Oh
yes, and I sometimes type incomplete sentences and put periods at
the end of them.
Exactly one dog I have ever met didn't like me, and that wasn't my
fault (good story though, if you want to ask). I have yet to meet
an unfriendly cat, guinea pig, hamster, horse, ferret, or other
mammal commonly kept by humans.
I am not currently boyfriend material. I am available as a fun date
or a pretty awesome friend. If you have fun on our first date,
let's have a second date, and so on.
I'm emotionally stable and capable of checking my baggage although,
by now, my remaining baggage fits neatly in the overhead
Yes, I'm sure. No, I'm not going to change my mind based on another
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I have a job with the City of Chicago that I enjoy enormously. I
will even talk about it if I have had an hour or three to cool down
I'm trying to rebuild a social life as many of my friends are now
parents and super-busy. I have been rebuilding through volunteering
and finding different interest based groups to check out. So far,
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
As it turns out, I'm pretty good at dating and sort of awesome at
all that listening I do
making people feel comfortable, safe and special
being a kick-ass uncle
seeing the absurd in the familiar (which should totally be a word
in German or Sanskrit or something)
ridiculousity (also making up words)
Hijinks (with occasional shenanigans thrown in for good
Making chicken soup in a pressure cooker, from scratch
Making homemade pizza also from scratch (except the sauce, I don't
boil the tomatoes down but I do combine ingredients)
Wearing interesting socks
Sticking it to the man. Really.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Either my eyes, my smile or my sexy, sexy behind.
The aquarium with fake jellyfish, Super Grover, and Gary the
Mold-A-Rama lion on my desk at work.
**Update: Alphonso the Mold-A-Rama gorilla now inhabits my desk as
well as a rubber duck that is dressed up like The Flash.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
1. Yes, I have favorite books. Many of them. We'll discuss later
and at great length, if you want. Some are written by dead white
guys, some by people that are not.
2. Caddyshack, Casablanca, The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus, Wet
Hot American Summer and more that I don't feel like typing
3. The Simpsons (still), Buffy, Dr. Who (original and re-boot),
edit: had to remove Sherlock as series three makes baby Jesus cry,
cough Downton Abbey cough, Nature, Brooklyn 99. The League (which
is as close as I get to fantasy sports). I dislike anti-heroes in
4. If it's good, I'll listen. Favorites change from hour to hour. I
tend to like music but don't really care enough to differentiate
that like into taste.
Exceptions: Tilly and the Wall is awesome. So is The Wreck of the
5. I will only eat things that were once alive, like plants and
animals. And salt, it's a rock we eat, how crazy is that?
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. A towel
2. This http://youtu.be/kmP4Xzt0rN4
3. Lightning and Thunder
4. Thermal underwear in winter, hammocks in other seasons
5. The printed word
6. Parenthetical statements
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Things that may never happen
Death and the nature of consciousness and how they interact
The nature of time
Why people get worked up about the Oxford/serial comma. If it makes
the sentence easier to understand, use it; if it doesn't, don't.
Don't use punctuation for style, use it for clarity.
Eating rocks and how crazy that is.
Why so many people misunderstand the "most private thing you'll
admit" question. It's not asking your most private thing. It's
asking for the most private you'll admit. The answer to that can
not logically be, "it's too private" if you answered any other
Why does Vivaldi's Spring Concerto make me weep like I'm at a puppy
I recently got my first tattoo, I love it and I am considering how
long before my next one and the next one and the one after that...
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Kind of crabby. Or napping with my cats. Probably eating pickles at
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have the second most hilarious disease on the planet, Narcolepsy
(Tourett's is funnier) and I hate it. Really really hate it. And I
do not have severe symptoms. I am happy to answer questions about
it if you are curious.
I dislike giraffes due to childhood trauma.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You are in Chicago or 1) a reasonable distance from CTA/Metra or 2)
love to drive into Chicago.
Your list of six things includes something I haven't seen in a list
before. Or, you've watched the video I have at #2 and it moved
You are poised on the precipice of world domination and need a good
henchman. I'm pretty damn loyal, strong and smart. I also have no
interest in ruling anything larger than a city so I'll not stab you
in the back or betray you. Just don't remove my brain for use in a
You feel like it. Go ahead, I'm respectful and can hear "no",
"never mind", and " I'm not interested". No one owes me anything,
attention included, but I do appreciate communication.
You don't think it's edgy to describe yourself as un-PC. C'mon
really? Saying you're un-PC in 2015 is utterly meaningless. Unless
you're just trying to say you're a rude jerkface.
One thing: human sexuality and gender expression exist on a
continuum as far as I can tell. So why, oh why, do people think
their personalities can be distilled by the revelation of four
dichotomies? What I'm saying is Briggs Myers is nonsense. Of
course, I realize that I have my birth sign on my profile and the
two things are equally scientific but I like the thought of people
knowing when my birthday is.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.