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40 Chicago, IL Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 33–47
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Today – 6:52am
6′ 2″ (1.88m)
Body Type
A little extra
Mostly anything
Agnosticism, but not too serious about it
Virgo, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from masters program
Politics / Government
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Likes dogs and has cats
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Update November 2014: I grew a beard, I like it and am going to keep it a while. One of my photos also had an incorrect caption for a while as my phone substituted the word bikinis for the word hijinks. Guess I should've went with shenanigans.

Mostly happy, somewhat sleepy, terribly funny, I am always respectful, and despite the fact that I wish I weren't, I am a rule-follower (most of the time). I will probably confuse you (I was once told that I have about 75% of a conversation with the remainder occurring in my head). I'm usually kind but i don't try to be nice. Nearly infinite capacity for silly, miniscule capacity for mean (which is generally unused). Oh yes, and I sometimes type incomplete sentences and put periods at the end of them.

Exactly one dog I have ever met didn't like me, and that wasn't my fault (good story though, if you want to ask). I have yet to meet an unfriendly cat, guinea pig, hamster, horse, ferret, or other mammal commonly kept by humans.

I am not currently boyfriend material. I am available as a fun date or a pretty awesome friend. If you have fun on our first date, let's have a second date, and so on.

I'm emotionally stable and capable of checking my baggage although, by now, my remaining baggage fits neatly in the overhead compartment.

Yes, I'm sure I don't want anything exclusive. No, I'm not going to change my mind because of someone else.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I have a job with the City of Chicago that I enjoy enormously. I will even talk about it if I have had an hour or three to cool down after work.

I'm trying to rebuild a social life as many of my friends are now parents and super-busy. I have been rebuilding through volunteering and finding different interest based groups to check out. So far, so good.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
As it turns out, I'm pretty good at dating and sort of awesome at all that listening I do
making people feel comfortable, safe and special
being a kick-ass uncle
seeing the absurd in the familiar (which should totally be a word in German or Sanskrit or something)
ridiculousity (also making up words)
obscure references
Reading people
Reading books
Hijinks (with occasional shenanigans thrown in for good measure)
Making chicken soup in a pressure cooker, from scratch
Making homemade pizza also from scratch (except the sauce, I don't boil the tomatoes down but I do combine ingredients)
Wearing interesting socks
Sticking it to the man. Really.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Either my eyes, my smile or my sexy, sexy behind.

The aquarium with fake jellyfish, Super Grover, and Gary the Mold-A-Rama lion on my desk at work.

**Update: Alphonso the Mold-A-Rama gorilla now inhabits my desk as well as a rubber duck that is dressed up like The Flash.

***Updater: Unnamed Mold-a-Rama pig lives on a desk with everyone's favorite video game gorilla.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
1. Yes, I have favorite books. Many of them. We'll discuss later and at great length, if you want. Some are written by dead white guys, some by people that are not.
2. Caddyshack, Casablanca, The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus, Wet Hot American Summer and more that I don't feel like typing now.
3. The Simpsons (still), Buffy, Dr. Who (original and re-boot), edit: had to remove Sherlock as series three makes baby Jesus cry, cough Downton Abbey cough, Nature, Brooklyn 99. The League (which is as close as I get to fantasy sports). I dislike anti-heroes in television.
4. If it's good, I'll listen. Favorites change from hour to hour. I tend to like music but don't really care enough to differentiate that like into taste.
Exceptions: Tilly and the Wall is awesome. So is The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.
5. I will only eat things that were once alive, like plants and animals. And salt, it's a rock we eat, how crazy is that?
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. A towel
2. This
3. Lightning and Thunder
4. Thermal underwear in winter, hammocks in other seasons
5. The printed word
6. Parenthetical statements
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Things that may never happen
Death and the nature of consciousness and how they interact
The nature of time
Repelling Zombies/Commies
Why people get worked up about the Oxford/serial comma. If it makes the sentence easier to understand, use it; if it doesn't, don't. Don't use punctuation for style, use it for clarity.
Eating rocks and how crazy that is.
Why so many people misunderstand the "most private thing you'll admit" question. It's not asking your most private thing. It's asking for the most private you'll admit. The answer to that can not logically be, "it's too private" if you answered any other questions!
Why does Vivaldi's Spring Concerto make me weep like I'm at a puppy funeral?
I recently got my first tattoo, I love it and I am considering how long before my next one and the next one and the one after that...
Update: Second tattoo happened, hopefully three follows quickly.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Kind of crabby. Or napping with my cats. Probably eating pickles at some point.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have the second most hilarious disease on the planet, Narcolepsy (Tourett's is funnier) and I hate it. Really really hate it. And I do not have severe symptoms. I am happy to answer questions about it if you are curious.

I dislike giraffes due to childhood trauma.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You are in Chicago or 1) a reasonable distance from CTA/Metra or 2) love to drive into Chicago.

Your list of six things includes something I haven't seen in a list before. Or, you've watched the video I have at #2 and it moved you.

You are poised on the precipice of world domination and need a good henchman. I'm pretty damn loyal, strong and smart. I also have no interest in ruling anything larger than a city so I'll not stab you in the back or betray you. Just don't remove my brain for use in a robot body.

You feel like it. Go ahead, I'm respectful and can hear "no", "never mind", and " I'm not interested". No one owes me anything, attention included, but I do appreciate communication.

You don't think it's edgy to describe yourself as un-PC. C'mon really? Saying you're un-PC in 2015 is utterly meaningless. Unless you're just trying to say you're a rude jerkface.

One thing: human sexuality and gender expression exist on a continuum as far as I can tell. So why, oh why, do people think their personalities can be distilled by the revelation of four dichotomies? What I'm saying is: Briggs Myers is nonsense.

My birthday is August 28th. I love it and even though I don't go out of my way to celebrate, I LOVE hearing happy birthday wishes. Just so you know.

The End.