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lookingslowly

48 M Woodinville, WA

My Details

Last Online
Today – 10:13am
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
A little extra
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Judaism, and laughing about it
Sign
Education
Graduated from Ph.D program
Job
Technology
Income
$150,000–$250,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Offspring
Has a kid, and might want more
Pets
Has dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), French (Poorly)

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My self-summary
I'm annoyed about all of the horrible things that the 30+ prepubescent men seem to say to women on dating sites, so I've decided to hoist a pirate flag of sorts for a couple of days.

If you don't want to be respected, appreciated, liked, and eventually cherished, our you don't like common courtesy, or you don't like being listened to, I'm not interested.

Respect, friendship, and love are things of the mind, the heart, the gut, and the soul. I couldn't care less about your boob size unless they're causing you obvious back pain, I'm concerned, and I'm trying to find out what might help. I don't much read T-shirts, either. The swivel joint at the base of my neck seems to be broken.

If you're not willing to share the kitchen with me, or you expect me to wear shoes in the kitchen when you don't, I'm not for you. I'm an early riser. I like coffee to be served in bed every so often, so plan on me bringing that to you. Unless you prefer tea. If you're not awake enough yet to smile, that's fine. If you don't appreciate small gestures once in a while, I'm not interested.

Those men who learn at all tend to repeat what works when it comes to getting sex. What's always worked for me is listening and respecting and caring about someone; being patient, decent, supportive and building a relationship of trust. I'll cheerfully keep that up for years. If a one night stand appeals to you, I'm not interested.

If you aren't ready to be honest with yourself, or you don't want me to be honest with you, run. Honesty can be a lot harder than lying, but it's the only way I work and the only way I want the people around me to work. If you prefer misdirection, lies, double dealing, two-timing, or other forms of unreality, I'm not interested.

If you don't have any baggage, congratulations! You're probably under 25 and still single, and you should enjoy it while it lasts. Look me up when we have something in common to talk about. For those of you who have discovered that life throws curve balls, I stand on my own, and you need to too. If you don't want somebody who helps you stand on your own, I'm not interested.

My doctorate isn't a big deal to me, but it isn't mail-order either. I actually am interested in your brains and what you have to say. If that's not your thing, well... I'm sure you've got the idea by now.

OK. I'm either a troll (I actually did live on "Seven Bridges Road" once), or I'm a decent human being who may or may not be for you. You're welcome to email or message, but I promise you can't really figure out which without meeting me. I can suggest a place, but maybe it's better if you pick a place where you'll feel safe and comfortable.

But here's the deal: we'll have coffee, or a glass of wine, or a meal. Or maybe a hike. We'll talk some. And then I'll walk you back to your car, or your bike, or your means of transportation, or drive you to your doorstep, and say good night. If we hit it off wildly, feel free to give me a hug. Or not. If I follow up and you're not interested, just say so politely. I'll do the same.

It might not be me, but if you're not really willing to go out and meet people at some point, back up, go over to "Settings", and click "Cancel my Account". Spend the money on something that will make you happy, instead.

Oh. And if you're one of the incredibly rude men who has been hassling women here, I wouldn't want to date you either.
What I’m doing with my life
Building a new company, figuring out how to be a better single parent, re-immersing myself in guitar and keyboards, reading a lot. Cooking.

Current projects:
- Building a model railroad with my son. He has big ambitions. :-)
- Rewiring part of my house
- Ghostwriting for my dogs (patterpatter.blogspot.com)
- Dog rescue. I keep thinking it's time to shift to something else, but the dogs don't seem to listen.
- Getting out and playing guitar publicly once in a while for fun.
I’m really good at
Breaking complex problems into manageable pieces, whether that's professional or personal. Listening to people. Calling them on their "stuff" in a constructive way when they need that. Teaching. Parenting - though like everyone else that's a work in progress.
The first things people usually notice about me
To quote a friend: "From my perspective, it is your attentive listening, direct eye contact, and ability to converse about topics that could be considered "boring" in an interesting way."

If I listen, I can learn something from anybody. Which is a pretty good reason to listen.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: sci-fi, business
Movies: Anything that cuts new ground.
Music: acoustic folk/pop, because I play acoustic guitar, but also anything that cuts new ground.
Food: Thai, Indian, or French.

Right now I'm reading Dealers of Lightning, which is about the creation of Xerox PARC (the people who brought you the personal computer). It's incredibly weird to read a book about a group of people when you actually know a bunch of them.

I went down to the Living Computer Museum with my son a few weeks ago. Very disconcerting to see the life's work of your friends and colleagues entombed in a museum, and realize yet again that some of those people are gone. Even more disconcerting when my son wanted to know which one I helped create, and sure enough we found it.
The six things I could never do without
1. My son
2. My partner (when I have one)
3. The Dogs
4. Things to read
5. Challenges
6. Music
I spend a lot of time thinking about
- How we establish and preserve civil liberties in an online age
- Teaching my son to think for himself effectively
On a typical Friday night I am
Out with my son (age 9) - Friday is the night that neither of us has other things scheduled, so we make the most of it.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I went to a farmer's market with my son and a friend last year, and we got separated. She asked him if he knew where I was. He asked "Did we pass any dogs?" Sure enough...
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 35–53
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You are interested in making new friends or getting together to do things. But also if you're just looking for a meal and a pleasant conversation. Longer relationships, at least for me, seem to flow from these.