I don't believe you can solve anything with violence but sometimes you can have a lot of fun trying it.
My lies are dull and boring, and everyone believes them. My real stories are surreal and a bit crazy. The result is that what most people believe of my life is actually not true.
I am a hairy man, I really can't do much about it. I've had a mustache since I've been 12. Full beard since 14. Have to shave 3 times a day to keep a clean look since I was 16.
Most times I pet other people's dogs.
I also watch a lot of movies, sometimes drinking whiskey and eating ice cream thinking this is what adulthood is all about.
I make amazing mac and cheese. I also make pretty good chilli. Mixing them both results in an explosion of flavor and excitement reserved for lucky few.
I also like analyzing the lint of my belly button. Sometimes it's blue even though I haven't worn a blue shirt in weeks. I wonder where it gets the ink from..
Confusing people and making them think I'm wise as a spew random collections of words. I follow the duck's banana.
Petting other people's dogs and scratching just that right spot.
There must be something else, that inspires children and little animals to instinctively trust me. They really shouldn't but they do.
I like music, but my relationship to it is complicated, to say the least. I would describe it as having a relationships with different genre's that complete me in different manners. None of them know of the other, but most know each other. I've even in a single night listened to heavy metal, jazz and then some REM. I have never felt guilty about this.
Movies is a general thing, I like mostly obscure or interesting films. Not that I'm against mainstream, but I know those movies will come to me on their own, it's the ones I have to hunt that I enjoy. I'd say noir is a big taste.
Other people's dogs to pet
Fat cats, I'd never let my own grow fat for health, but I find it soothing to think that out there, there is a chubby kitten.
Cheetos and Porn. I'm kidding, I don't really like Cheetos that much.
The smug feeling of being asked to list 6 things and only listing 5. It's my way of saying: Fuck you "The Man".
'Related to that, how awesome it would be to have a breed that always remained a puppy, then I realize that Pugs and Chihuahuas are failed attempts at such, making me realize that we've already gone too far.
How a synchronous state from a server with multiple clients could be efficiently replicated by creating a maximum speed of change, and allowing for relativistic time-space warping (latency being akin to gravitational mass), until an observer goes beyond into the cone of uncertainty (where relativity can't be guaranteed) which could be alleviated by using superposition of states and allowing states and their changes to be represented by something like quantum mechanics.
Cats with short legs.
You like burning stuff.
You dislike taking things to seriously.