I'm The Queen of Never-Never Land.

Curious, but cautious, introspective yet extraverted. Non-conformist, hedonist and sporadic autodidact. Professional dilettante, eternal amateur, dabbler, tinkerer. Jack of all trades, master of none. I could have been so many things -- a writer, a composer, a fashion designer, an architect, a minister of education, a botanist, a multi-lingual translator, or (according to my parents, anyway) a mathematician. What I am is a pianist and music teacher who writes poetry and prose, gardens, occasionally dresses eccentrically, is fluent in two and a half languages and has a loving but purely platonic relationship with math. I'm a soul-searching, pun-loving, irony-spotting polyglot-wannabe. I still "wannabe" a lot of things. Still shedding the remains of my hubris. I'm full of potential, which gets realized in unexpected spurts. I have an aversion to all things normal, average, mediocre, standard, conventional, main-stream and otherwise restricting.

Though I am not, and have never been, a student of philosophy, I feel that "philosophical" is an accurate way to describe myself. I find history, anthropology and religion (from an atheist's point of view) to be some of the most interesting fields. We need some perspective to show us how fleeting our silly little conventions are. Look at our whole recorded history -- things that are standard practice in some corner of the world during some particular millennium or two are taboo at a different time and place, then everything repeats all over again. And yet we always think that NOW we got it, HERE and NOW, unlike any other time and place, people finally know right from wrong. So many people are limited in their views by that "here and now", which to them seems to constitute the entire human existence. A friend of mine once said, moral judgment can only exist in a universe that has a purpose, and only if that purpose is known. I try looking at life in that detached sort of way, as if from another planet. Some call it Zen, but I'm not into labels. I'm not one to follow any established tradition (and I'm not only talking about religion), be it encouraged by the majority or trendily rebellious. I tend to stay away from politics because I don't like taking sides -- there are always too many. Don't ask me to give you an unwavering yes or no on such issues as abortion, gun control, death penalty and the like; the best I'd be able to do is come up with a very conditional answer, with lots of caveats. I base my opinions on provable as well as anecdotal evidence combined with what I consider to be sound reasoning, but I'm terrible at debate.

I think the experience of coming from a different culture, and having managed to retain it while at the same time embracing a new one, helps me be more flexible. I believe myself to be empathetic and accepting of people in their diversity; I hope these traits are evident enough from the way I live my life. I usually manage to see something worthwhile and, on occasion, even beautiful in every human being I encounter. I like people much better as individuals than as representatives of something bigger; large numbers of people, when acting as one, can be capable of great things as well as horrific ones.

I am a non-vegetarian tree-hugger and a bit of a hippie. My dream is to live in harmony with nature and grow as much of my own food as realistically possible. (I used to dream of owning a cow, but when I looked into it some more -- purely theoretically, as I don't think the zoning laws are that flexible here in low-density Virginia suburbs -- I realized that may be a bit more trouble than I'd be willing to go to ;-) I want to raise and home-school a brood of child prodigies, learn more languages, visit every country in Europe and, perhaps, explore South America a bit more than I have so far.

Моё детство прошло в Новосибирском Академгородке. Одно из моих ранних воспоминаний: мне 3 года, я сижу в песочнице и палочкой пишу на песке своё имя. Чей-то очкастый папа (не мой, родители опять меня кому-то подкинули) зачитывает вслух результат моих усилий: "АНУТА". Ошибка, объясняют мне, в 3-ей букве: должна быть "Ю" вместо "У". Вот чёрт, опять. Я с этим уже сталкивалась, и не раз, но привычки тяжело менять. Я терпеливо начинаю заново. Аккуратно вывожу "А", затем "Н", потом... Ну вот, опять. Ну не начинать-же опять сначала! Нет, жалко затраченного труда. Я аккуратно зачёркиваю упрямую букву... Нет, надо-бы ещё раз перечеркнуть, а то теперь стало похоже на букву "Х"; ну вот, теперь, вроде, ни на что не похоже. Пройденный этап, двигаемся дальше. Как-же пишется эта сложная, заковыристая буква "Ю"? Получаются, почему-то, две буквы... Чужой очкастый папа читает: "АНЖНОТА". "Послушай," предлагает он сочувственно, "а не написать-ли тебе просто "АНЯ"? Это всего три буквы." "Аня" звучит чужевато, ну да ладно, последуем доброму совету. Пишу: "АНR". Всё, теперь никто не придерётся.

I am eloquent, eclectic, and discerning

Daydreaming, reading, writing, learning haphazardly, gardening, cooking, making stuff from scratch (latest endeavors include soap and cheese; next project -- maybe sweaters?), playing the piano and earning my bread by teaching classical music to kids. One of my day-dreams/goals is to run my own music school and homeschooling resource center.

Learning, teaching, understanding children, being unbelievably patient (especially with children), detecting insincerity (in children and adults alike), reading bodies (umm, adult ones, generally), using good English, using good Russian (the bits and pieces of French, Italian and Spanish currently lying dormant for lack of use and Portuguese still a work in progress); experimenting with food, planning things in minute detail before turning to a spontaneous plan B, getting lost in Central Park; remembering things from a long time ago in freakishly and unnecessarily accurate but very colorful detail. And lately, Scrabble. (Did I just use the word "detail" twice in one sentence? Ah well, that's me. Details.)

My Russian accent, my sequined meshy plastic slippers, my lack of make-up.

Books, or rather authors, in Russian: Pushkin, Lermontov, Tolstoy, Chekhov, Dostoyevsky, Nabokov, Bulgakov, Ilf and Petrov, Strugatzky brothers, Tzvetayeva, Akhmatova, Ulitzkaya. In English: Shakespeare, Charlotte Bronte, Jane Austen, Dickens, Cummings, Nabokov, Irwin Shaw, Mark Salzman. In translation: E.T.A. Hoffmann, Thomas Mann, Carlo Gozzi. Non-fiction: Harmful to Minors*, Teenage Liberation Handbook*, The Case Against Adolescence: Rediscovering the Adult in Every Teen*, Fast Food Nation, The Omnivore's Dilemma, anything having to do with linguistics and etymology, ecology, raising and educating children.

*note: I listed these books because I agree with their main points; however, that does not mean I wholeheartedly agree with every word. I find that, unfortunately, even highly intelligent and educated people all too often fail to be entirely objective and rational when it comes to their strong convictions.

Movies -- too many to list, so here are some directors: Eric Rohmer, Ingmar Bergman, Roman Polanski, Rolan Bykov, Eldar Ryazanov, Sergey Bondarchuk, numerous films by various other great foreign directors, but also many American indie films, some Woody Allen (though he does get repetitive). Documentaries that have recently made an impact on me: The Corporation, The Business of Being Born, An Inconvenient Truth<--EVERYONE SHOULD SEE IT!!! Anything narrated by David Attenborough (I can watch nature series for hours on end).

Music: Classical. From the most cerebral to the most romantic and any combination thereof. (Palestrina, Bach, Mozart, Beethoven, Schubert, Chopin, Schumann, Brahms, Debussy, Ravel, Rachmaninoff, Bartok, Prokofiev, Shostakovich etc. -- you get the idea).

Food: slow food, organic and beyond organic, sustainably farmed/hunted/gathered, free-range, grass-fed/pastured, pesticide and antibiotic-free, unpasteurized/unprocessed, ethnic, authentic, imaginative, inspired, adventurous. Anything raw, like steak tar-tar or oysters. Sushi is one of my favorites (the taste and feel of sea urchin with quail egg in my mouth is nearly orgasmic).

Paper towels. (At least six of them). While I'm sure I won't actually die without them, it wasn't until this Thanksgiving that I realized just how difficult life can be without these little staples of modern civilization that we all take for granted. I will never take a paper towel for granted after what I've been through, never.

When I'm not thinking about paper towels I dwell on my creative endeavors, my students, my parents, my future children, my future, my (future) music school, death (a part of my future, unfortunately). How spectacularly stupid humans can be. How stupefyingly brilliant humans can be. How things would improve if I were Chief Advisor to Ruler of the World (I don't want the job for myself because I don't want to be responsible for all the problems beyond my control), who would really just be my pawn. Mwa-ha-ha-ha-haaa!!!

Days of the week don't have much meaning to me.

I enjoy the company of people who are literate, articulate, rational, analytical, and creative. If whatever it is you're doing with your life takes intelligence, skill and dedication, I may be interested in getting to know you. I think that to a large degree what you do is what you are, so hopefully you're passionate about it and are not the kind of person to say "I don't live to work, I work to live" or "My job does not define me".