I Enjoy: art, philosophy, random holidays, the paranormal, reading, meditation, the Tarot, cooking, Earl Grey tea, mythology, the spirit world, heavy rain, mild revenge, the countryside, my exotic pets, dark times in history, writing, Pimms, old man pubs, manipulation, inappropriate jokes, polyamory, antiquing, silence, heavy rain, etherealism, falling asleep to gorgeous music, sharp satire, grass roots football, karaoke, martial arts, alternate realities, Taoism, posh wine, moonlit bodies of water, pointless rambles.

I Don't Enjoy: moths. Olives can also piss off.

Making movies, making songs and fightin' round the world.

Accumulating unusual pets. At the moment I have:

a bearded dragon (Matthew)
an aztec corn/black rat snake cross (Jack)
two Harlequin crested geckos (Rodney and Neil) and now the two gecko-children they had. Also Rodney is a girl, unless they are a gay couple who adopted off the internet while I was out.
two White's tree frogs (Charles and Phil)
two Berber skinks (Ian and George)
a Nosey Be panther chameleon (Daniel)
two Giant Asian Hissing scorpions (Catherine and Pinchy)
a mexican red knee spider (Alan)
a Chilean gold fluff (John)
a trapdoor spider (Keith),
a New Guinea Rust (Nathan)
a Paraguayan Pink Zebra Beauty (Mark)
a Togo Starburst (Lee)
a Haitian brown (Mike)
an Indian Ornamental tree spider (Steve)
a Brazilian black (Connor)
a SA Green femur (James)
two Mississippi Map turtles (Jeremy and Gareth)
an Orange Bitey Thing (Jacqui)
an East African Baboon Spider (Penis - I regret letting the kids name that one)
a big Honduran curl hair (Jason)
a Kilimanjaro mustard ( :( )
a chile red (Woodcock)
a giant white knee birdeater (Kimberley)
and a baby Singapore blue, one of the most evil things on the planet, when he grows up... (David)
(As one of the only local arachnologists, I assume I will continue to waste my free time 'saving' my friends from large house spiders, before ending up like that cunt with the ponytail in Arachnophobia.)

Just to be nice, I also got two gerbils (Kramer and Seinfeld) so my 'normal' friends now have something to play with too. Oh, and my colony of little hermit crabs, which are great fun!

Crazy crazy hair.

Books - Haruki Murakami is probably my favourite author. Well, no probably about it. I also like various philosophy books, religious or spiritual treatises (Bushido/Taoist literature), books on the psyche, books on mythology and the occult, Sartre, Kierkegaard, Camus, Dark Tower series, Japanese literature such as the works of Natsume Soseki, Mariko Hashioka, Yasunari Kawabata, Yukio Mishima, things to do with social science, political stuff, and stuff many people would find pointless or tedious.

Films - Not all that many other than Weird Asian films, thought provoking films such as Eternal Sunshine, hilarious ones like Dumb And Dumber, and real life ones such as Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas (although somewhat embarrasingly, I am also a Clint Eastwood fan). Final Fantasy looked lovely, in fairness. Big fan of much comedy stuff DVD though. The Office, Futurama, Peep Show, Family Guy, Alan Partridge, Nathan Barley, Black Books, Jam, Seinfeld, Father Ted, Ren And Stimpy, South Park. Curb Your Enthusiasm and Seinfeld as I totally empathise with Larry David.

If I watch TV at all, it's generally some current sporting event or something on the Discovery Channel like meaningless speculation about ancient times, or aviation disasters (though it may seem a bit scary, I know pretty much everything about every plane crash ever mostly due to a job I tried to get a couple of years ago). Admittedly Sky+HD is a better invention than penicillin.

Also, The Itchy and Scratchy Show and Fightin' Round The World With Russell Crowe.

Music - Pretty weird ranging stuff. Stone Roses, Nirvana even though I should have probably outgrown them by my age, Sigur Ros, Gomez, Jeff Buckley, Jun Yamamoto, Interpol, Beethoven, John Martyn, Decemberists, Pavement, Susumu Yokota, Xavier Rudd, The Bluetones, Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan, anything at all sung by Colin Meloy, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Radiohead, South, The Doors, Massive Attack, Nick Drake, Iron And Wine, John Butler Trio, Bon Iver, Andrea Bocelli, Scott Matthews, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Seth Lakeman, Jose Gonzalez, Michiko Tanaka, Bach, The Verve, Neil Young, Joni Mitchell, - basically dream pop/folk/indie/whatever. And Alanis <3

Christ, do I ever miss the 90's.

Food - Hardly ever eat out, certainly never at fast food places, and never ever ever any ready meals (ever ever) which is why I'm healthier than I look; pretty much everything I have is cooked by myself. Or a loaf of good bread; I'll eat a good lunk of bread as a meal for the day. Not apricots though. Like 1 in 30 are good. They are a very low percentage fruit.

Nah, I'm OK thanks.

It changes with my moods, a million different things from one day to the next. What people are trying to achieve. Is there universal truth? How people would live if they knew exactly when they were going to die from the day they were born. Why so many people think friendships and relationships are totally black and white. What if I'm already dead. and how would I know? Why certain emotions are more desirable than others. Whether, if I was so inclined, I would make an effective serial killer. What people could give to one another and why they don't. Which country shall I go to next? Why people fear death. Crime. Is death an 'it'?. Whether what people think of me is actually any of my business. So many things.

I spend a lot of time thinking about brains.

Seeing how many times I can bounce a basketball in an hour, then trying to break that record.

I have loads of stuff to hide from real people.

Any of the below apply:

- The prospect of a 'normal' life (wife/ 2.4 kids/ mortgage/ tedious career etc.) scares you more than anything else.

- You find Irja's wallet. Seriously you guys, it's been like 3 years now.

- You need advice or help with your animals.

- you are happy for Toto - Africa to be 'our song'

- You promise not to ask me if I prefer men or women (I may have to stab you in the pancreas if you do this).

- You stalk Björk.

- You are Björk (sorry for stalking you, by the way).

- You want to tell me your dream sandwich.

- You look like/are Jack White.

- You also travel about a lot and want to tell me where I should go next.

- You are a desperate fool at the end of your pitiful rope.

(or, you can't sleep at night because of this sentence