30 South Hadley, MA
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My self-summary

* tenacious, zany, candid, and irreverent.

* probably going to be reported missing by concerned librarians one day for failing to show up at the library for an entire week.

* fond of stabbing kittens. (By which I mean, pursuing a career as a vet tech.)

* going to make a run for it if you try to drag me onto a club dance floor, but I'd be delighted to dance Tango all night or attempt to teach a drunken friend East Coast Swing.

* afraid to put my face in water, but game to go tubing down a big river. LOGIC BE DAMNED.

* an aspiring writer of all things strange, from picture books, to middle grade, to adult horror short stories.

* a world-famous fairy princess, a bluebird, and a liar.

* fond of adventures, but also prone to attacks of The Lazy.

* a high-functioning introvert. I love being around people, but I need alone time to function.

* a little shy at first, on occasion. Don't be too surprised if I am not terribly zany on the first date.

I have a morbid and highly offensive sense of humor, and the following things make me laugh:

* The Duke's speech in Measure for Measure where he convinces a man convicted to death that death is actually pretty great and life stinks.

* The way that speech actually works. Until Claudio's sister tells him he's got a chance at life if she, a nun, does the nasty with the duke's stand-in (the real duke is dressed as a monk seeing what his city is really like, and talking convicts into desiring death). Damn, Shakespeare is demented and awesome.
What I’m doing with my life
ALL THE THINGS until I fall into a heap of exhaustion. Writing a children's book, catching up on reading the classics, working per diem at an animal shelter until I can get a proper job there, dancing, and defending myself from aggressive 200lb pigs using a snow shovel (okay, it was just one pig).
I’m really good at
* seeing the good in people, in all seriousness. I can find something to like about almost anyone if we talk long enough.

* making cupcakes, befriending shy semi-feral kittens, showing boisterous dogs who's boss, psychobabble, acing standardized tests, sudoku and other logic puzzles, leaving awkward voicemail messages, and over-thinking things.
The first things people usually notice about me
Depends. Judging by people in grocery store lines, it could be my nerdy t-shirts. For kids, it's that I "cutted my hair short like a boy," which leads to awkward questions. Or maybe it's that I was just practicing random dance moves in public. It is entirely possible to dance in your car at a stop sign. (I mean, without getting pulled over for unbuckling your seatbelt and climbing halfway out a sun roof.)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: I read constantly, so it is hard to pick favorites, but I will try. The Curse Workers series or anything else by Holly Black, The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks, Watership Down, The Demolished Man, the Sabriel series and anything else by Garth Nix, Jasper Fforde, Neil Gaiman, Phillip K. Dick, Jonathan Stroud, Scott Westerfeld, China Miéville, Haruki Murakami, Michael Robotham, inordinate amounts of Stephen King and his sinister alter ego Richard Bachman, Gillian Flynn, Shakespeare (especially Hamlet... I can quote several speeches), Harry Potter, Broken Time, Bel Canto, Ella Enchanted, Ultraviolet, The DSM-IV Casebook, Persepolis, The Silence of the Lambs, The Hunger Games, The Testing, Enchantment, The Virgin Suicides, Ender's Game, Liesl & Po, Middlesex, Lockwood & Co., Plain Kate, This Book is Full of Spiders, The Time Traveler's Wife, The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat, The Thorn Birds, Egg & Spoon, The Chocolate War, Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers, The Newsflesh Trilogy, Dykes To Watch Out For (which is technically a comic, but whatever), Y: The Last Man, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen... etc etc.


Words and phrases: phantasmagoria, apophenia, diaphanous, diasporic language, sesquipedalian, prolixious, euphonious, mellifluous, apeirophobia, crepuscular, esprit de l’escalier, sepulchral, somnolent, syzygy, paroxysm, gloaming, etc. etc. I love juicy words. Send me your favorites! :)

Movies: Stardust, V For Vendetta, The Boondock Saints, Better off Dead, Sin City, Pirates of the Caribbean, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Mean Girls, Resident Evil, Dogma, Coraline, Thelma & Louise, anything Pixar, anything Studio Ghibli, good bad chick flicks...

TV Shows: I don't have a TV and never have, but I watch shows on NetFlix. A few of my favorites: Gilmore Girls, Better Off Ted, Dollhouse, Coupling, Veronica Mars, 30 Rock, Leverage, Doctor Who, and Survivor. Currently, I'm addicted to Elementary, but I can totally quit any time I want.

Music: The Pillows, Coeur de Pirate, The Beatles, Splashdown, Thievery Corporation, Universal Hall Pass, The Decemberists, Anais Mitchell, Regina Spektor, a sprinkling of embarrassing pop, and a mix CD or two of rap. I cherry pick from many different genres — practically anything but opera or death metal. Also, I often buy random songs on iTunes and then forget what I'm listening to once I've burned it onto a CD.

Food: Sushi, steak, cupcakes, stuffed mushrooms, lemon butter kale, homemade eggs benedict, mangoes, avacados, tiramisu, pho, Russian crepes, syrniki, and more. I am a huge fan of trying new kinds of food. Give me a recipe that calls for lotus root and I'll go find some and cook it. Sometimes I eat baked potatoes with mayonnaise, lemon juice, and mango chutney.
The six things I could never do without
Not counting obvious things like water, shelter, friends, and family, here are six things I would really rather not do without:

* Ideas for stories to write, and time alone to write.

* A nearby library, and time to read.

* A proper kitchen stocked for baking and cooking projects.

* Cats, because they make my world go round. My three, the tiny nuggets at the kitten ICU, kitties I have met through pet sitting, and the vast internet full of videos and pictures...

* Intellectualization, because it's my first line of defense when the s*** hits the fan. If I can understand things and analyze them, I can distance myself from them.

* Humor, because it's my second line of defense. Things always become less threatening if you can laugh at them. HAHAHA, DEATH AND TAXES, YOU ARE FUNNY!
I spend a lot of time thinking about
* If it's cradle-robbing to date someone younger than you, is it grave-robbing to date someone older than you?

* How I want to knock fictional characters' heads together and shout at them: "Stop being so stupid!"

* How do I begin writing whatever story is knocking around in my head at the moment?

* Why do some kittens at the ICU just refuse to gain weight no matter how many times I command it?

* Out of the people who send me messages, what percentage actually read my profile? If you have read this paragraph, and you still want to send me a message, please work "flying monkeys" into it somehow.
On a typical Friday night I am
With your Mom ALL NIGHT LONG.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I have a panda pillow pet.
You should message me if
* You want to sweep me away in your space ship and show me the stars.

* But you will return me two minutes after we left, because I'm insanely busy. On that note, you don't expect me to reply right away to texts, call every day, or have very much free time until kitten season ends.

* You adore cats, and the very idea of an 11oz kitten having a sneezing fit makes you melt into a puddle.

* You approve of spending Halloween making mulled cider and reading spooky stories.

* Tubing down a river sounds like a fabulous date, but dinner and a movie doesn't sound boring either.

* Especially if you would enjoy baking with me, or cooking Japanese food, or have a dish you could teach me how to make. Extra points if the prospect of making Swiss meringue buttercream doesn't scare the pants off you.

* You would consider non-monogamy, and you don't think polyamory has anything to do with an inability to commit.

* You find it awesome and not at all pretentious that I like memorizing favorite Shakespeare speeches.

* The idea of ever ever EVER having a kid sort of freaks you out. You're not ready to settle down yet, but when you are, you would much rather raise a baby dragon than a child.

* You won't get mad or jealous if I need to read the end of my book before replying to your text / returning your call. Particularly if you agree that the mortal peril of fictional characters is pretty damn important.