What majesty should be, what duty is,
Why day is day, night night, and time is time
Were nothing but to waste night, day, and time.
Therefore, since brevity is the soul of wit
And tediousness the limbs and outward flourishes,
I will be brief.
* a bluebird and a liar.
* fond of adventures, but also prone to attacks of The Lazy.
* an avid letter-writer. Yes, snail mail.
* so into reading that it makes my ex-boyfriend/current-friend-friend super jealous, and he tells me to stop whoring around with my books. This is problematic because many of these books are underaged, but he still insists I'm whoring with them.
* probably going to be reported missing by concerned librarians one day for failing to show up at the library for an entire week.
* a high-functioning introvert. I love being around people, but I need alone time to function.
* always going to love my cats more than you, even if you are The One.
* a jerk who likes messing with my cats by playing YouTube videos of squeaking frogs that upset them, until they walk around my computer hunting for the frog and mewing. I am also guilty of sharing their humiliation with distant strangers via the intarwebs.
* tenacious, zany, candid, and irreverent.
* a little shy at first, on occasion. Don't be too surprised if I am not terribly zany on the first date.
I have a morbid and highly offensive sense of humor, and the following things make me laugh:
* The Duke's speech in Measure for Measure where he convinces a man convicted to death that death is actually pretty great and life stinks.
* The way that speech actually works. Until Claudio's sister tells him he's got a chance at life if she, a nun, does the nasty with the duke's stand-in (the real duke is dressed as a monk seeing what his city is really like, and talking convicts into desiring death). Damn, Shakespeare is demented and awesome.
* Awful "your mom" jokes that you don't even realize are awful until they're out of your mouth, e.g.:
Person one: "My sink is expulsive when it's turned on."
Person two: "Your mom is expulsive when she's turned on!"
* Making my best friends stalkerly valentines, with poems about beheadings, drawings of anatomical hearts, and references to Poe.