I'm seriously not interested in having horrible, awkward sex with you. Not even after you put booze in me. You can certainly ATTEMPT to sucker me into a one-nighter because it amuses me to tell you NUH.UH. (Unless I plan on using YOU for sex. Then it's different.) Yes, I'm aware that I sound bitter and angry at the sex-driven man-machine that keeps wymankind down via penetration and severe phone allergies. I really just put this up as something to keep people from wasting my &/or their time. Also, if you can't make the miseries of life into a (mostly) joking tirade, then something is wrong with you. Keep sending me messages telling me I'm angry and stinky! I like not having to think about what my current state of being is.

If you're looking for a delicate fairy princess, you won't find her here. Sorry.

I don't do my hair unless I feel like it. Hair up in a clip is standard for me. My nails are bitten & my oddly colored nail polish is chipped. My hands have calluses & cuts from working with wood (I do printmaking as an art form, not a job). I don't wear skirts unless I have to. I own mostly hoodies, t-shirts, & jeans. My ratio of sneakers to heels is like 4:1. I do my make-up but only to accentuate, not to look like an oompah loompah with black eyes. Unless I feel like it.

I'm a hedonist at heart but I have a serious empathetic side. I do what I want, so long as I don't hurt anyone. I am a firm believer in respect, honesty, and keeping myself open-minded. To those who are my friends, or people who impress me with their intellect. Cars? Not so much; although, if it's a Red '57 Chevy with cream detailing you've pretty much got my hand down your pants without even needing to say hello.

I am a book lover. I read like there is no tomorrow. Anything I can get my hands on from Fantasy to Technical.

I am an intellectual party-goer. I drink. I smoke. I do drugs on the rare occassion. So if listening to classic rock, talking about everything under the sun, philosophizing, laughing, drinking, and getting a little high is your game...you should probably shoot me a message.

I recieved my AA in Office Management then decided I was not cut out to be a desk monkey and went back for something in the Social Sciences. THEN I changed my mind again. I'm in Cosmetology, now, even though I never thought it would be what I wanted to do. I regret nothing, for it is pretty awesome making people feel wonderful about themselves.

Whenever the money becomes available, I plan on taking a break to work on either a tattoo apprenticeship, or a degree in the fine, tasty art of patisserie.

Printmaking, drawing, reading, being silly, drinking whiskey & being odd.

Funny story! Old drunk men like to tell me I'm gorgeous but the best compliment 'twas ever slurred my way was, "I LIKESH STHE WAY YER TITSH ISH HANGING OUT."
I should explain that I was fully clothed at the time. In my oversized, half-open hoodie that was hanging off of one shoulder so one boob was sort of pushing the hoodie fabric to the side. ANYWAYS, I suppose the first thing old, drunk men usually notice about me is my boobs. I don't blame them. They are pretty friggin' precious.

Books: The Thomas Covenant Series; The Beauty Series; Black Alice, Memoirs of a Geisha; Ishmael; Anything by Palahniuk; Anything by Irvine Welsh; Anything by Piers Anthony; Anything by Vladimir Nabokov; I am constantly picking up new books by different authors. I just love to read.

Movies: Full Metal Jacket; Snatch; Crank; Gladiator; Battle Royale; Meet the Feebles; Three Extremes; Robo Vampire; Black Snake Moan; Layer Cake; The Godfather Series; The Princess Bride; The Labyrinth; Ichigo the Killer; High Tension; Flight of Dragons; Super Bad; The Jerk

Music: Oh god. So much. Let's list the recents! Prick; The Horrorpops; Led Zeppelin; CCR; The B-52's; The Reverend Horton Heat; Lovage; The Doors; ZZ Top; The Deftones, etc. etc. etc.

Food: Anything spicy. Chinese, Japanese, Indian, Mexican...whatever. If it's hot, I want it in my mouth. I'm not a big fan of seafood or really heavy dishes. Cream sauces are ok sometimes, but I mostly prefer something that is meaty. Mmmm...meat.

My music, my family, my friends, my sketchbook, whiskey & some "me time."

Life's big questions. Who am I? Where do I want to go from here? What are my current goals? Am I going about them alright? Have I made someone happy today? Is it too early for a drink? How much did I spend at the bar last night? What should I bake? Shit! Did I do my homework?!?!?!

Either out raising hell, or in doing my homework.

I cried during the opening sequence of Tarzan. The animated version. I don't get it either.

For the love of all that is holy would you PLEASE make sure you read and comprehend my profile before asking to meet me?! I really hate having my time wasted. Also, you should be able to hold an intelligent, but very strange, conversation.

Also, don't be one of these little Portland weiners I have been encountering in droves. If I am manly enough for the both of us, I'm really not interested in you, or why you are so full of terrible, horrible angst. Passive-agressive tactics are a total turn-off. I'm fairly positive you have male equipment, which comes with male hormones. Put them to use, please. Ladies should never, ever have to make the first move and I have made a promise to myself to never have to again.