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34 Oakland, CA Man, Transsexual

Man, Transsexual

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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 26-59
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Nov 9
Pansexual, Queer
Relationship Type
Mostly non-monogamous
5' 3" (1.60m)
Body Type
Special Diet
Other and laughing about it
Dropped out of Post grad
Doesn’t have kids but wants them
Has cats
English, LISP (Somewhat), C++ (Somewhat), Russian (Somewhat), French (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Here is the best thing that anybody has ever said about me:

"You come across as a knife with a neon nyan cat handle in subject matters you feel strongly about, all shiny, bright & happy '....but ...wait....oh god! ......I've been cut to size? but how????'"

After 14 years working in computer science academia and in the software industry, I decided to reboot my life and am taking a few months off to recover from trauma (which began before, but was not improved by, working in tech) before starting a new career. I wrote about the reasons why at and I'm happy to say that this seems to be both my favorite and the best-received piece I've ever written.

I've written a lot about feminism and politics in the past, and I try to be in solidarity with intersectional feminism. More recently, I've been writing songs (not ones to, like, make anyone else listen to yet) and focusing on more personal stuff.

Right now I like to go for long drives, listen to music, sing, and take hot baths. I do a little aikido. Eventually I'll do more stuff again but this is enough for now.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm trying to figure out what to do with my life, but also trying to give myself a break from stressing out about that. I did computers for too long and my next career will probably involve helping people debug themselves, rather than debugging other people without their involvement (through the intermediary of software).

I am probably going to be moving back to California soon. Reno was too small for me.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Debugging, mental static analysis, word and logic puzzles. People tell me I write well. I like to think I'm good at critiquing other people's talks and papers.

Wanting to know too much about the wrong people -- which is to say, everyone. But some more than others.

Breaking neti pots. (No neti pot can last more than a year in my apartment.)
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My glasses or hair; glasses frames are purple-blue right now; previously orange, previously red. For some reason, the orange and red ones got a lot of compliments. Maybe people wishing they could be bold enough to wear those too? (Hint: you don't have to be bold.)

When I had pink hair people noticed that a lot, especially small children, but I'm back to brown hair now.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Anne Lamott, Samuel R. Delany, Vikram Seth, David Foster Wallace, Caroline Knapp...

Movies: Recently seen and liked: "The End of the Tour", "Inside Out", "I Am Big Bird", "The Times of Harvey Milk" (I could watch the last one any number of times).

Shows: "Scandal", "Breaking Bad", "House". (I feel embarrassed about listing those last two because of the fans, but I don't think either Walt or House is someone you're supposed to idolize.)

Music: all the Mountain Goats, all the time

Food: chocolate, pasta
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Headphones, tea, therapy, the Internet, friendship, the ability to change my mind.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Survival. How I can best help other people survive. the Mountain Goats.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
In my apartment. This is unlikely to change much for a while. Let's be pen pals.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I like the Mountain Goats a lot, like *really* a lot.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I like to exchange a few messages with somebody, then meet in person. At the same time, I'm going through a hermit phase so I might be more chatty online than usual.

Libertarians need not apply.