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34 Reno, NV Man, Transsexual

Man, Transsexual

I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 26–59
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Mar 20
Pansexual, Queer
5′ 3″ (1.60m)
Body type
Strictly vegetarian
Other, and laughing about it
Dropped out of Ph.D program
Rather not say
Mostly non-monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Likes dogs and has cats
English, LISP (Okay), C++ (Okay), Russian (Poorly), French (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Here is the best thing that anybody has ever said about me:

"You come across as a knife with a neon nyan cat handle in subject matters you feel strongly about, all shiny, bright & happy '....but ...wait....oh god! ......I've been cut to size? but how????'"

In mid-2014, I moved to Reno from San Francisco, in order to work from home and pay back my student loans while not having to share a 2-bedroom apartment with 4 other people. The rest of this is likely to be somewhat out-of-date.

I do computers for a living. When I'm not computering, I write about feminism and politics. I try to be in solidarity with intersectional feminism.

Despite having done it a few times now, I've realized that meeting total strangers just to talk freaks me out, so if I'm going to meet someone from here, I'd rather have a specific agenda. Read the very end of this for more details, but I wanted to put it up front so you don't waste your time.

I have two cats who I adore. I don't really want to buy a house, but I sort of do just so I can adopt a lot more cats.

I like riding my bicycle, but I also like driving. Especially road trips, but when I can't do those, driving around the suburbs and finding out what's in *that* strip mall is great too. (The answer is some surprising Indian restaurant or thrift shop with cool stuff, more often than I expected when I moved here.)

I'm a recovering grad student. I tried the grad school thing three times, but I think I've finally learned my lesson. Grad school: not even once.

I like traveling. I don't much like to go to museums. I like to pick someplace that's not very interesting, go there by car or train, and spend some time there getting stuff done that's important to me but wouldn't get done at home where there are cats to play with and things to clean. Like writing a blog post. Also, if I go someplace boring, I'll feel good about it either way: if I find something fun, that'll be extra, and if I don't, I'll have accomplished exactly what I set out to do. I've discovered about myself that I like this. I love New York City, but when I go, I feel so much pressure to make the most of it that that usually ruins the trip.

I love the mysterious, and I love feeling like I'm finding out about a system that's usually secret or obscure. I love driving long distances while avoiding the interstates, passing through small towns that surely used to be a much bigger deal when people took long-distance road trips entirely on two-lane roads. I love old-looking motel signs and diners with lots of kitschy exterior, even though I've learned that inside the motels are usually boring and the diner food doesn't always pass for edible. I love seeing reminders that the past never actually went away, that it's still here if you look hard enough, that if you go anywhere outside a city you're sure to see reminders of what was and what, for all I know, could be again. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, like when I tried to drive the part of the old Route 66 route that goes from Riverside, CA to LA; aside from a historical sign here and there, it was all strip malls and suburbia with no sign of the times when that was the way to get from LA to points east.

I like small, enclosed spaces, like Amtrak roommettes, or carrels at some libraries, or (at least I imagine) capsule hotels, or like tanning beds would be if they didn't also give you cancer. I like flotation tanks because they're a small enclosed space, more than for the supposed spiritual woo-woo benefits. I like hot water and steam (so, hot tubs, saunas, and steam rooms. And my own shower in a pinch.)
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I do computers, at least until my student loans are paid off. Possibly longer, because I'm thinking quite seriously about becoming a single parent by choice, and it would probably be the responsible thing to not just walk away from a stable job when someone else is depending on me.

I don't *like* computers very much; I work on them because I don't trust them, or most of the people who make and write software for them, and it's the least I can do to make a tiny corner of the software industry less awful.

I'm thinking about going to medical school to provide informed-consent-based care for trans people.

I also do regular things like cooking and drinking beer and rearranging my bookshelves over and over. I like hot tubbing and going to hot springs when I get the chance, and hiking when I have someone to hike with. (Could that be you?) I like to sing karaoke and I don't even need to be drunk to do it.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Debugging, mental static analysis, word and logic puzzles. People tell me I write well. I like to think I'm good at critiquing other people's talks and papers.

Wanting to know too much about the wrong people -- which is to say, everyone. But some more than others.

Breaking neti pots. (No neti pot can last more than a year in my apartment.)
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My red glasses, although I'm about to try getting contact lenses after 22 years of being grossed out by the idea, so who knows what the answer will be once I'm not wearing glasses.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Being asked to name a favorite anything makes me anxious, so I'm just going to talk about examples that I liked recently.

I loved _Through the Valley of the Nest of Spiders_ by Samuel Delany, and if you did too, we should talk. I might have a thing about really long novels: there's that one, _Infinite Jest_ by David Foster Wallace, and _A Suitable Boy_ by Vikram Seth. Lately, though, I read more non-fiction, because there's so much I don't know. I've been drawn more to books about sex, travel, and drugs, because I want to read about experiences I could have rather than escaping into a book.

I've seen "The Big Lebowski" seven or eight times, and that's still not enough.

The only TV show I really watch is House; I don't own a TV. When I'm staying in a hotel or hospital, I kind of like those storage unit shows.

I love the Mountain Goats and Bruce Springsteen. I listened to Neko Case's _Furnace Room Lullaby_ while going to bed every night for a few months last year

Food: I'm vegetarian. But not vegan, so more or less everyone gets to judge me. Despite that, I love diner food (particularly breakfast, since I can usually eat it) and chocolate. Anything with ginger in it is good, too.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
* Headphones
* Tea (not so much the beverage as the process of getting up from my desk to make a cup of tea and getting just enough of an interruption in my workday. It's a good thing I never took up smoking.)
* A car, bicycle or motorcycle (while I love public transit, sometimes I need to be able to stop wherever the hell I want and not have to justify that.)
* The Internet, which turned out to be beyond my wildest dreams of what I thought it was when I was 14 and first used a text-based web browser on a VT220 terminal, and has quite literally made me who I am
* The ability to change my mind. That sure is great! I used to think I'd never live in the suburbs, own a car, or plan on becoming a single parent. I used to be married, then I got divorced. I used to think I was a girl, then I thought I was genderqueer, now I know I'm a guy. What would I do if I didn't allow myself to change my mind?
* Google Calendar, Google Maps, to-do list software. I don't have any innate ability to be organized or have a sense of direction.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How to survive under capitalism while also making myself as useless to it as possible.

Social inequality, privilege, and power dynamics.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
There are no typical Friday nights for me. Last Friday, I was in Philadelphia with some good friends who were kind enough to share their Shabbat dinner with me.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
After having written public blog posts about being bipolar, having both a penis and a vagina, being in therapy for close to five years (and counting), and being a survivor of abuse that doesn't fit the most well-known abuse narratives, I'm honestly not sure what regular people think is private. If I think people are curious about something, I react by giving them as much information as I possibly can.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Meeting a new person just to have coffee or a meal freaks me the hell out, I've realized, and I don't want to get over it right now. Residual social anxiety. *So*, if you want to meet, let's meet to do something specific: roller skating, dancing, hiking, bike riding, karaoke singing, snorkeling, climbing, hot tubbing, other things that don't involve sitting in front of a screen and aren't just sitting and talking. Or if you want to go to the trampoline place. I really want to do that.

I also spend too much time computering as it is, so I'm not looking for more people to talk to solely on the computer. I like to exchange a few messages and then meet, if anything.

Libertarians need not apply.