I'm a trans man. If you don't know what that means, it means my body isn't what you might expect it to be. If you do know what that means, it also means my body isn't what you might expect it to me. I've swung back and forth about whether to mention this, but I realized that I find it terrifying to be in a dating (or maybe-dating) situation with somebody when I'm not sure how they're going to react to finding out. So now you know.
I push buttons on a computer for a living. It's swung from a calling to a passion to a vocation for me. Maybe it'll swing back someday. It's okay if it doesn't.
I grew up in Boston, then in the suburbs thereof, and I've been running from the suburbs ever since. (Given where I live right now, you can tell that I'm running in place.) I moved to Berkeley for grad school and for a relationship. The relationship was abusive and so was grad school, and I escaped both but stayed on the West Coast. Last winter I lived in a yurt in a clothing-optional community in the Santa Cruz Mountains. In retrospect, the winter wasn't the best time to do that. In 2013 I spent two and a half months in Vancouver, BC, and loved it, but immigration law compelled me to go back to the US. I'm settling back into Mountain View and looking for meaning and community.
I'm crazy, not in the sense of being zany or risk-seeking but in the sense of having a variety of conditions that affect my mental health. Some go by the names "depression" and "anxiety", but also are the consequences of growing up in a dysfunctional environment (locally) and continuing to be in one (globally). I take meds and get therapy so that I can appear sane, but I still don't like to hear "crazy" get used as a pejorative, for the same reason I don't like to hear someone aver that a sweater is "so gay". I've had to fight to be able to do things like get out of bed in the morning and hold down a job. Sometimes I feel like the thing that sets me apart the most from other people is never having had the experience of being a kid who had adults in my life who I could trust. When I meet someone who really gets that *and* who uses too many big words and alienates people, that'll be great.
I'm fat, not "overweight", but OkCupid doesn't have that as an option. I'm not looking to change that, and it doesn't have much to do with whether or not I can do any particular physical activity. The war on obesity frustrates me because any attempt to eliminate a specific type of person from the world frustrates me, and also because I'm one of the people being targeted for elimination. Health at Every Size (HAES, for searchability) is a cool idea.
I'll accept the risk of missing my train so that I might have the pleasure of running and just barely catching it, rather than leaving early enough to guarantee I'll be on time. Managing myself and my use of resources, particularly time, is an endless struggle for me. I've found that making to-do lists and schedules for myself, and generating the occasional random number to decide which thing to do next, makes me happier.
"Poly" and "kinky" are both examples of labels that might or might not say more about me than they obscure about me. I'm not sure. Like Billy Bragg, I can feed and dress and wash myself and sleep without the light on; but I also don't want to be more invested in someone else than they are in me.
Curiosity might be my only strong and abiding personality trait. No matter how depressed I've been, I've never stopped wanting to know and wanting to learn. That curiosity extends to other people's lives as well. The words "I don't want to know" are meaningless to me; I've never uttered them sincerely. The only reasons why I would refrain from telling someone else something about me would be either that they had power over me, or that I didn't want to make them uncomfortable. And I would only ever refrain from trying to find out something about someone else out of respect for them; nothing is TMI for me, in either direction.
I really like sensitive guys who say "fuck" a lot.