I am looking for a long term relationship primarily. I half-joke (and it is only a half joke) that at this age of late thirties to mid-forties that if one is single then there is a reason for it. In my case, there likely is a reason though I have determined that if there is true feeling and attraction and enough practical elements existing on both sides then making the relationship work is a matter of willing it through determination, sense of humor, compromise, and acts of love. There is no perfect person and lord knows I am not perfect but hey I'm pretty good.

At times, but not always, I have run into preconceived notions of myself as a “man” and that “men” want certain things or act a certain way. This is quite depersonalizing and yet quite understandable from the 30-40 year old woman's perspective given the human predilection to define things and after a number of years to begin to see patterns. I hope from both sides to see the other person in a personal way and as an individual. Fighting against years of history can be a difficult scenario and I hope to avoid this in a relationship and hopefully use my life experience to our advantage.

One of these prejudices is that “men” are focused on sex as an end. Don't get me wrong, I love sex but it is especially good with the right person and with feelings of affection or love attached. This is not to say I would turn down lustful or a more purely physical sexual relationship if I happened across such a thing in my seeking but that is not my preferred or primary goal.

The questions on this site seem to be an excellent way to at least vet each others commonalities. Do they result in good relationships? I really don't know. I think chemistry and how two people gel and complement each other have a lot to do with it. And then there is always smell and how similarly our eyes are placed on our face.

I'm not trying to sell myself here just laying out where I'm coming from right now.

Working, seeing good mostly independent movies, reading some books, organizing my apartment and throwing or giving away many things, traveling a bit, chasing my cat, having my ankles bitten (by my cat), painting sometimes, playing some guitar, walking, exercising, going to the park, the museum, and the coffee shop.

Being pretty good at a lot of stuff.

I look like Jesus (or at least I used to when I had long hair.)

Food: Mexican vegetarian, other things too but I was in food heaven in Mexico when I could get good veggie stuff and tamarind candy
Books: The Social Animal by David Brooks which I think I lost so I'll start Truman by David McCullough
Music: lots, Yes (the band), kd lang
Movies: Groundhog Day, and lately My Week with Marilyn, Margin Call which were both excellent

Art, Music, Adventures, well that's three - but really one can live without many things if necessary

How to get a response from a OKCupid email.

Nothing typical. I would prefer to say "out with my significant other and having a great time"!

You want to chat or meet me of course.