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26 Atlanta, GA Woman


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I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 25–40
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Online now!
Relationship Type
5' 3" (1.60m)
Body Type
Two-year college
Might want kids
English (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
INFP if you buy into that stuff. Let's get over this misconceived notion that being an introvert automatically means you're shy.

Atlanta native and current resident. We are basically unicorns.

Welcome to the list of that which is Mary. Please stay for the end. There will be cake.

- Half romantic and half realist. I argue with myself a lot. Not in a crazy way. Usually.
- I love my mama.
- My friends are a bunch of fire poking assholes and I love them. They give great hugs.
- I have a bit of a potty mouth. I can keep it under control in "polite" company. Like your mom. Or my mom, so I don't get the, "MARY!! Watch your mouth!!"
- I drive with the windows down and the music loud. Weather permitting, of course. I also prefer to do this without shoes on.
- I was in marching band... And I'm proud of it.
- Now for the standard, "I want to travel" spiel. The different people and cultures of this world fascinate me, and I would love to experience them. Not to mention all the food.
- It drives me insane when people don't use the right "there, their, your, you're, etc." I know this isn't the most attractive quality, but I just can't take it.
- I like being outside, but I also have a deep appreciation for air conditioning.
- I don't mind getting dirty/sweaty. I played in mud and creeks as a child. I also like getting dressed up and going out to a nice dinner. Yes, I know which silverware to use.
- I enjoy taking showers in very little light. I find it to be quite relaxing.
- I workout and eat well. It makes me feel better. My body looking better is just a bonus. I tend to lax up more on the weekends in the food department. Yes. I would like that beer. And those bacon wrapped dates. Thanks.
- I'm super pale and don't really tan well. White girl problems for life. During the summer, I pretty much always smell of aloe lotion.
- I stopped thinking it was cool to date a musician about the same time I started caring about my 401K.

"Reluctantly crouched at the starting line, engines pumping and thumping in time."
I told you there would be Cake. yeah. I make bad jokes.

disclaimer: I am super allergic to cats. I can be in a house with them, but I can't pet them without washing my hands afterwards. I also can't sleep in a room they go into. I wake up with a swollen face. No one wants to wake up next to the Kool-Aid man.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm the assistant to the Center Coordinator of a human services center for Gwinnett County. We partner with non-profits to provide programs and classes for the community. I get to help people every day. It makes the insanity worth it.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
detecting bullshit while rarely calling anyone on it.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm a short white girl with a rather large behind.

"I don't spew profanities. I enunciate them clearly. Like a fucking lady."

I think it's a fair estimate that 78% of the people on here say that their eyes are the first thing people notice. For over half of them, I bet that isn't true. 39% of you are full of shit.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: I love that part in Beauty & The Beast when he gives her the library. I read everything from biographies to horrible teen romance novels (of this I am an addict. They're awful, and I love it.) My copy of Looking for Alaska is falling apart. Also, nothing smells better than old books.

Movies: Pollyanna, Eternal Sunshine, Hook, Star Wars, Harry Potter, A League of Their Own, TMNT, Marvel has been really on the ball recently, and basically anything with Jennifer Lawrence or Emma Stone. I'm not hard to please, but I can't watch horror movies. I'm a chicken shit, and I won't sleep for 4 days. Unless it's one of those horror movies that's so ridiculous that it's funny. Like Dead Snow. You had me at Nazi Zombies.

Shows: I've seen every episode of Gilmore Girls. A few times. Archer always has me dying. Intervention is probably the only reality type show I'm into. Joss Whedon is my spirit animal. I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you.

Music: Portugal. The Man, Lydia, Mogwai, Hendrix, Brand New, mewithoutYou, The Xx, The Black Keys, Radiohead, The Middle East, Gregory Alan Isakov, Russian Circles, Modest Mouse, Gasoline Heart, 90s alternative, and I'll end with Taylor Swift. Also, I'm from Atlanta, so Manchester Orchestra gets some play time as well. All of my Dropkick Murphys recently disappeared from my music library. I'm super upset about it. I can't stand Maroon 5. Adam Levine's voice is like sandpaper on my brain. I also find myself flipping to 92.9 The Game every now and then. I generally have no idea what they are taking about, but they are usually pretty funny

Food: BBQ. All. Day. Long. Whiskey, specifically of the Irish variety... Usually Jameson on the rocks or with ginger ale if I'm feeling frisky. Red wine. I've also been on a bit of a taco kick recently. I need to go on a taco tour of Atlanta. Allergic to mushrooms, but I'm okay with it cause they're gross anyway. I can tell a love story about a coffee mug.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My people
Coffee. I'm an addict. It's bad.
Water. For real though. I carry my glow in the dark nalgene everywhere.
High thread count sheets. Yeah. I added a 7th thing. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?! That's right. Nothing.... Please don't report me to the OKC gods.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
It seems like a lot of folks on here seem to be spending a lot of their time on the beltline. With all these single people in one place, why are they all still on here/single? Just a thought.

What is with only posting group pictures? I feel like I'm playing Where's Waldo. Who are you?! Trickster.

If I have no knowledge of a language, could I list it on here as being spoken "poorly?" I could attempt, but the attempt would be poor, so wouldn't the outcome be that I speak it, but poorly...?

There are quite a few self proclaimed "laid back" people are here. OKC is apparently one chill ass spot.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Who wants their nights, or days for that matter, to be typical?

Why do so many people on here say they go out to a "local" bar? How many people go to bars far away from their house? It's probably a far less percentage than those that don't, so wouldn't it make more sense to only specify if you go to a non-local bar...? Just wondering.

Wanna get wasted and then feel awful on Saturday spending the whole day watching Netflix?! Awesome! For you. Best move along though.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I probably know more about Star Wars than you.
I love red hair.
I can't swim.
I used to have my septum pierced.
I enjoy being manhandled and told what to do in certain situations.
I have a serious weakness for men with nice arms. I got it bad.
Every time I hear the word "faggot," I want a Cinnabon... With a little cup of hot cum.
I think you can tell a lot about a person by their shoe choices.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
- you want to
- you don't mind socks in bed
- you don't mind that I can't sit in one position for too long. I fidget. A lot. I also tend to have issues knocking things over.
- you can teach me something.
- you will fold my fitted sheets. I hate those damn things.
- you are okay with these numbers:
- you can get me back into rock climbing.
- you are Han Solo released from carbonite
- you still want to.
- you would like me to continue beginning sentences with "you."

I "reply selectively" because I get annoyed with this every now and then and decide to stop responding to messages because I'm just over it. I recently just deleted my entire inbox. I swear. I'm not a super cunt. Unless I can be a superhero cunt. That could be fun.

So, we are pretty much guaranteed to not get along if any of the following apply:
- you are against gay marriage, a racist, a bigot, etc.
- you plan to convert me to some kind of religion. I grew up in a very Christian household. I then got my own brain and decided it wasn't for me. If you are religious, that's perfectly fine, but don't expect me to go to church with you or debate the finer points of the Old Testament.
- if the word "fuck" makes you cringe

You know why this is amazing:
She wasn't doing a thing I could see. Except standing there, leaning on a balcony railing, holding the universe together.