Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
It's unlikely that anyone ever sees me and says, "Now THAT is one
DANGEROUS stud." Still, I just might surprise you with a few
instances of raw, hot, rugged dissent.
My mind bounds over obstacles into the night.
I used to think wrinkles would come before delusion. They didn't.
Delusion came first.
Hugs are cool.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Teacher taking a break from being the guy who sells my students'
souls for test profits. Looking for something that's a better fit.
Doing a lot of tutoring to make ends meet.
Having a goddamn conversation with you.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
-Developing a crush on every person I see with a wide-brim hat,
-Thinking my roommate isn't home and earnestly singing embarrassing
-Understanding what you're getting at.
-Saying nice things and meaning them.
-Saying things that I want you to remember, then later realizing I
only said them inside my head so you never even heard them
Let's play Bananagrams!
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Subway weirdos can't get enough of these eyelashes.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Just Kids, e e cummings, S.J. Perelman, Alice Munro, Donna Tartt,
Nikolai Gogol, Milan Kundera, Franz Kafka, Woody Allen (films,
short stories, and plays), Philip Roth, Catch 22, Robinson Crusoe,
Bob Dylan, The National, The Tallest Man on Earth, 60's r&b,
50's syrupy pop music, Cole Porter, vegetables and noodles.
Classical music does it for me, especially in the morning. Don't
worry, I like FIDLAR, too.
I read ALL THE TIME. I like the kind of stories with people talking
to each other, then in the end they realize they've said too much.
Invite me to your book club!
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Henry Winkler guest spots.
Someday I'll get to the point where I can read an entire book and
not think "Clearly, a cookie would be delicious right now," between
Likewise, I doubt I'd excel at one of those programs where you
become a millionaire by simply not buying coffee every day.
Couldn't do it.
N.B. Some things to me are endlessly thrilling. I apologize in
advance if my eyes fall out of their sockets when I notice your
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How to express the inexpressible.
Gender and sexuality.
How to be a better ally in the many struggles for social
"Why am I attracted to this person? Wait, why am I questioning it?"
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Wishing I still had a car so I could drive somewhere to see the
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Probably the funniest thing I've read in this section of any of
your profiles is one word from one woman: "bush."
If we're going to play that game, let me say: "crabgrass."
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You think we could be pals. I'm looking for pals. All kinds of
pals! Laugh pals. Kiss pals. Pool pals. Think pals. Talk pals.
Fight pals. Pizza pals. Movie pals. Reading pals. If you are a pal
who can fulfill more than one pal requirement, you will get my
I've never had the same relationship with two different people, and
I really like that about people. Let's make a connection, you and
Body positive and sex positive, though tending towards
If it's warm, let's go to the park. If it's cold, let's make mulled
wine, then hang out on the couch and watch HBO GO. ("watch")
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.