Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
February 1st, 2008.
I always walked from work to the 72nd St. station, where I could
catch the 3 itself (hooray, 3 train!), instead of having to wait
for the 1 before transferring to the 3 (boo, transferring!). But it
was gray and ugly and raining out, and so I went instead to the
significantly closer 59th St. station (ETERNALLY UNDER
I should also note that I was wearing an extraordinarily silly
When the train pulled up, I waded through the mosh of cranky
frowning people, finding a place to stand. A ladytypeperson about
my age looked at me, saw my silly hat, and smiled the "that dude is
wearing a silly hat" smile. With which you are all familiar. I
smiled back at her. It was one of those ephemeral moments that
ought to be no more than a pleasant memory.
But I had just that month decided that my new mantra would be "Make
The More Interesting Choice". Initial capitals. And as I looked at
her next to me, I had the sense that we would be very good friends
if only we knew each other. It's one of those things you really
can't know. But I knew it. Then I saw that her bag was made of
vinyl and featured on its face the cover of the Revolver album, and
then I knew regardless of the outcome, I would regret it if I
didn't do something.
And but so I couldn't figure out a way to talk to her that wouldn't
look like a creepysubwaypickup. With which you are all familiar.
So, instead, I wrote her a note.
It said: "Hi! It was really nice that you smiled at me. Also, your
bag rules. That's all. Have a beautiful day."
And I signed it with my first name (marsupial?). And nothing else.
Because it wasn't a pickup, it really wasn't, and I just wanted to
have a real moment of human connection, and since we live in the
future with our shiny-magic phones and Internets I figured that if
she wanted to find me, she would. It's like the plot of a Kate
Beckinsale movie, only it doesn't suck.
So at 96th St., I tapped her on the shoulder, handed her the note,
smiled, and walked away.
Lo and behold: that night, there was a Missed Connections posting
(the first and only time I'd ever checked it) obviously aimed at
me! "You have no idea how much your note made my day. I wish you
had left a last name or an email address. If by some random chance
you see this, tell me what my bag looked like, and we'll
So I told her what her bag looked like. And we talked. And she is
now one of my best friends in the entirety of the entire world.
We've been to Prague and Berlin and Edinburgh and even Wisconsin
(The House on the Rock!) together. I can hardly imagine my life
since then without her. And if that's not proof that we should
always, always, always make the more interesting choice, then
nothing ever will be.
But I think it is. So I hope to. Always.
OK. Here ends the story.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
-I just moved to Los Angeles in February. After 14 years in New
York. I have A Lot Of Feelings about this.
-Writing plays. (like this one, for instance
-Writing letters to bank CEOs making fun of them for being terrible
at their jobs and having the morality of supervillains. (hey, some
of which are in this book
if you're in the mood to get really
sad and stupendously righteously indignant)
-Objecting to weddings. Seriously. (only when asked to (which I
have been (twice))).
-Writing timelines of all of human history
-Co-hosting the Sex for Smart People*
podcast with notayuca
. It's good. Like, to listen
-Working in customer support for OkCupid. Look, I even have the
staff badge. SHINY.
-Walking around and thinking about stuff.
-Spending a great deal of time with an awesome human that I met on
OkCupid. Thanks, workplace!
-Procrastinating to an almost astonishing degree.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
hugging. I take that shit seriously.
skipping past the boring bits of conversation right to the good
navigating cities I've never been to before.
NEVER GETTING A CAR EVER.
writing arguments with no clear winner.
being tonally consistent regardless of medium.
jokes and assorted silliness.
smooching (OR SO I'VE BEEN TOLD).
I'm really bad at:
organization. Of things.
waking up (really, really bad at waking up).
being sick. I am the world's worst sick person.
picking up "hints". I'm working on it, but I think I'm
constitutionally incapable. Would that we all just said what we
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Probably that maybe I'm Moby and then figuring out that I'm not
Moby. But like I saw this picture
and *I* thought it was me. And was
like WTF? When did I get that BANGIN' SHIRT? (note to mobile users:
there's a link here to a picture of Moby in a BANGIN' SHIRT)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
There used to be this whole list here about everything I love, but
let's save that for a walk on the High Line (or wherever people
walk in LA. Um. The abandoned zoo?). In its place, the two things
I've been most thinking about recently, subject to change DAILY or
HOURLY or WHENEVER I FEEL LIKE IT.
Book: Ada or Ardor, The Master and Margarita.
Movie: The One I Love, Citizenfour
Show: Property Brothers (COME AT ME), Game of Thrones
Music: Andrew Bird's Bowl of Fire, Paul Simon
Podcast: Sex For Smart People OF COURSE. No Such Thing As A
Food: Bubble tea, bubble tea
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
the accoutrements necessary for writing (this counts as one thing.
I checked with the authorities).
brontosaurus (HE'S REAL, SHUT UP).
those discursive conversations that go everywhere and touch on
everything and last all night and make you glad you are alive.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Jokes. Kindness. Feminism. Occupy Wall Street. Human agency.
Whether it exists. Whether anything exists. How we can know what
exists. Global climate disaster and the coming ecological collapse.
Occupy Wall Street. Grammar. The moon. How weird it is that I'm
going to die and how awful it is that it could happen at any moment
and there's just nothing I can do about that. Moving to Los
Angeles. The Ice Age. Whether to wholeheartedly embrace the
Bohemian lifestyle. How to change the world. Whether it is worth it
to try to change the world. Whether to wholeheartedly sell myself
for several years to lucrative non-Bohemian (Moravian?) work to get
myself out of debt, save money, and then have years when I don't
have to work at all. Politics. Revolution. Dinosaurs. The Room. The
future. Time travel movies and how so few of them bother to even
try. Why people believe the silly things they believe. The banking
system. SERIOUSLY, OCCUPY WALL STREET. Why anybody would
actually want to have children. Polyamory and alternative
relationship models and pretty much just alternative models for
everything. How beautiful everybody in New York is. Southland
Tales. Monkeys. Cleverness and its virtues and vices. Sports. What?
I know. Sex, but that should pretty much go without saying. The
deep sea. How to live the most considered life possible. Platonic
philosophy. The Hylaean Theoric World (read Anathem. Really,
just read it). The unfortunate logical position I have yet to be
talked out of, where if I believe (as I do with a fucking
passion) that it's possible to say that some things are
inherently and eternally better than some other things, then there
must exist somehow in the universe an inherent best, which
I'd love to be talked out of because of how much it looks like
religion. Small dogs. Coffee. Time and time and time and time and
why we move through it in this one direction. How marvelous living
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER.
itty bitty living space.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I legitimately do not understand the cultural obsession with
When singing along with songs, I correct the lyrics so that they
use the subjunctive properly. JUST HELPING.
Ethical non-monogamy is my relationship orientation. Let's love
each other and also date other people sometimes, yeah?
Finally, and completely unrelatedly, I may gradually be turning
into an albino. What can be done?
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you are another human who shares my affinity for elf culture.
you already know that non-monogamy can be a happy and healthy
relationship model for you.
you are fucking awesome at communicating your wants and
needs and desires; and the idea of clear and kind and honest
communication is, like, arousing and not worrisome because
it's a sign of missing mystery/mindreading or something
you got this far thinking you should message me, and are just now
at the end chickening out. You totally should. I believe in you.
Make the more interesting choice!
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.