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marsupiallegory OkStaff

32 Los Angeles, CA Cis Man

Cis Man

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 27–37
  • Located anywhere
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Online now!
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body type
Mostly vegetarian
Very often
Atheism, and very serious about it
Graduated from university
Art / Music / Writing
Rather not say
Open relationship
Strictly non-monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Likes dogs and likes cats
English, French (Poorly), German (Okay)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
A story:

February 1st, 2008.

I always walked from work to the 72nd St. station, where I could catch the 3 itself (hooray, 3 train!), instead of having to wait for the 1 before transferring to the 3 (boo, transferring!). But it was gray and ugly and raining out, and so I went instead to the significantly closer 59th St. station (ETERNALLY UNDER CONSTRUCTION!).

I should also note that I was wearing an extraordinarily silly hat.

When the train pulled up, I waded through the mosh of cranky frowning people, finding a place to stand. A ladytypeperson about my age looked at me, saw my silly hat, and smiled the "that dude is wearing a silly hat" smile. With which you are all familiar. I smiled back at her. It was one of those ephemeral moments that ought to be no more than a pleasant memory.

But I had just that month decided that my new mantra would be "Make The More Interesting Choice". Initial capitals. And as I looked at her next to me, I had the sense that we would be very good friends if only we knew each other. It's one of those things you really can't know. But I knew it. Then I saw that her bag was made of vinyl and featured on its face the cover of the Revolver album, and then I knew regardless of the outcome, I would regret it if I didn't do something.

And but so I couldn't figure out a way to talk to her that wouldn't look like a creepysubwaypickup. With which you are all familiar. So, instead, I wrote her a note.

It said: "Hi! It was really nice that you smiled at me. Also, your bag rules. That's all. Have a beautiful day."

And I signed it with my first name (marsupial?). And nothing else. Because it wasn't a pickup, it really wasn't, and I just wanted to have a real moment of human connection, and since we live in the future with our shiny-magic phones and Internets I figured that if she wanted to find me, she would. It's like the plot of a Kate Beckinsale movie, only it doesn't suck.

So at 96th St., I tapped her on the shoulder, handed her the note, smiled, and walked away.

Lo and behold: that night, there was a Missed Connections posting (the first and only time I'd ever checked it) obviously aimed at me! "You have no idea how much your note made my day. I wish you had left a last name or an email address. If by some random chance you see this, tell me what my bag looked like, and we'll talk."

So I told her what her bag looked like. And we talked. And she is now one of my best friends in the entirety of the entire world. We've been to Prague and Berlin and Edinburgh and even Wisconsin (The House on the Rock!) together. I can hardly imagine my life since then without her. And if that's not proof that we should always, always, always make the more interesting choice, then nothing ever will be.

But I think it is. So I hope to. Always.

OK. Here ends the story.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
-I just moved to Los Angeles in February. After 14 years in New York. I have A Lot Of Feelings about this.

-Writing plays. (like this one, for instance)

-Writing letters to bank CEOs making fun of them for being terrible at their jobs and having the morality of supervillains. (hey, some of which are in this book if you're in the mood to get really sad and stupendously righteously indignant)

-Objecting to weddings. Seriously. (only when asked to (which I have been (twice))).

-Writing timelines of all of human history.

-Co-hosting the Sex for Smart People* podcast with notayuca. It's good. Like, to listen to.

-Working in customer support for OkCupid. Look, I even have the staff badge. SHINY.

-Walking around and thinking about stuff.

-Spending a great deal of time with an awesome human that I met on OkCupid. Thanks, workplace!

-Procrastinating to an almost astonishing degree.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
hugging. I take that shit seriously.
skipping past the boring bits of conversation right to the good bits.
navigating cities I've never been to before.
writing arguments with no clear winner.
being tonally consistent regardless of medium.
jokes and assorted silliness.
smooching (OR SO I'VE BEEN TOLD).

I'm really bad at:
organization. Of things.
waking up (really, really bad at waking up).
being sick. I am the world's worst sick person.
picking up "hints". I'm working on it, but I think I'm constitutionally incapable. Would that we all just said what we meant.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Probably that maybe I'm Moby and then figuring out that I'm not Moby. But like I saw this picture and *I* thought it was me. And was like WTF? When did I get that BANGIN' SHIRT? (note to mobile users: there's a link here to a picture of Moby in a BANGIN' SHIRT)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
There used to be this whole list here about everything I love, but let's save that for a walk on the High Line (or wherever people walk in LA. Um. The abandoned zoo?). In its place, the two things I've been most thinking about recently, subject to change DAILY or HOURLY or WHENEVER I FEEL LIKE IT.

Book: Ada or Ardor, The Master and Margarita.
Movie: The One I Love, Citizenfour
Show: Property Brothers (COME AT ME), Game of Thrones
Music: Andrew Bird's Bowl of Fire, Paul Simon
Podcast: Sex For Smart People OF COURSE. No Such Thing As A Fish.
Food: Bubble tea, bubble tea
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
the accoutrements necessary for writing (this counts as one thing. I checked with the authorities).
brontosaurus (HE'S REAL, SHUT UP).
public transportation.
those discursive conversations that go everywhere and touch on everything and last all night and make you glad you are alive.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Jokes. Kindness. Feminism. Occupy Wall Street. Human agency. Whether it exists. Whether anything exists. How we can know what exists. Global climate disaster and the coming ecological collapse. Occupy Wall Street. Grammar. The moon. How weird it is that I'm going to die and how awful it is that it could happen at any moment and there's just nothing I can do about that. Moving to Los Angeles. The Ice Age. Whether to wholeheartedly embrace the Bohemian lifestyle. How to change the world. Whether it is worth it to try to change the world. Whether to wholeheartedly sell myself for several years to lucrative non-Bohemian (Moravian?) work to get myself out of debt, save money, and then have years when I don't have to work at all. Politics. Revolution. Dinosaurs. The Room. The future. Time travel movies and how so few of them bother to even try. Why people believe the silly things they believe. The banking system. SERIOUSLY, OCCUPY WALL STREET. Why anybody would actually want to have children. Polyamory and alternative relationship models and pretty much just alternative models for everything. How beautiful everybody in New York is. Southland Tales. Monkeys. Cleverness and its virtues and vices. Sports. What? I know. Sex, but that should pretty much go without saying. The deep sea. How to live the most considered life possible. Platonic philosophy. The Hylaean Theoric World (read Anathem. Really, just read it). The unfortunate logical position I have yet to be talked out of, where if I believe (as I do with a fucking passion) that it's possible to say that some things are inherently and eternally better than some other things, then there must exist somehow in the universe an inherent best, which I'd love to be talked out of because of how much it looks like religion. Small dogs. Coffee. Time and time and time and time and why we move through it in this one direction. How marvelous living really is.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?

itty bitty living space.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I legitimately do not understand the cultural obsession with moustaches.

When singing along with songs, I correct the lyrics so that they use the subjunctive properly. JUST HELPING.

Ethical non-monogamy is my relationship orientation. Let's love each other and also date other people sometimes, yeah?

Finally, and completely unrelatedly, I may gradually be turning into an albino. What can be done?
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you are another human who shares my affinity for elf culture.

you already know that non-monogamy can be a happy and healthy relationship model for you.

you are fucking awesome at communicating your wants and needs and desires; and the idea of clear and kind and honest communication is, like, arousing and not worrisome because it's a sign of missing mystery/mindreading or something silly.

you got this far thinking you should message me, and are just now at the end chickening out. You totally should. I believe in you. Make the more interesting choice!