martieni
31 Santa Monica, CA
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
martieni
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
I’m an east coast girl displaced in paradise. I grew up outside of Philly, lived in Manhattan for several years, and relocated to LA two years ago.

I'm begrudgingly a grownup by day but a kid at heart. It's typical for me to jump from debating an esoteric topic to bopping around to some awesomely terrible pop song and then return to my debate only to erupt into giggles about something ridiculous two minutes later.

INTP, but uncharacteristicly social. Passionately nerdy about the law. Unexpectedly silly.

I’m into bourbon, and I love board games, particularly Risk. I read the NYTimes. I dislike cats and drama. I tend to wear black, but my apartment is mostly white. I don't think I understand hipsters.

I probably won't be impressed by the money you make or the weights you lift, but I'm always down for some good intellectual conversation. So, if you think spending a Saturday afternoon at a brewery talking about something other than celebrity gossip sounds like a good time, we might be in business. Just keep in mind that I hate pretension, so please leave that at home. But please do bring some seltzer (see below); that'd be awesome.
What I’m doing with my life
I’m an attorney, and I love what I do.

I went to law school in New York, came out here to clerk for a judge, fell in love with the California sunshine, and now work for a firm downtown. (Bonus points if you know what a law clerk is).

I do serious work, but I always carry a work-hard-play-hard attitude. My only complaint is that my schedule is too weird to get a dog. Please let me know if you would like to walk my future dog. Thanks.
I’m really good at
Pretending to be good at things.
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm short. I'm about 5ft tall.
The six things I could never do without
Dry, witty humor
Bubbles in my water
Cheese
A camera
Good bourbon
Snarky footnotes
I spend a lot of time thinking about
1. Why nobody on this site seems to know the difference between "me" and "I." Seriously, people. "I" is not a more formal word for "me." The two words serve entirely different grammatical purposes.

2. Why seltzer—which is apparently just called "sparkling water" here—is so expensive and hard to find on the West Coast. All I want is this stuff: http://www.vintageseltzer.com.
You should message me if
I have the following preferences . . . and I emphasize that these are preferences, not unbendable rules (except for #4):

1. You are between the ages of 28 and 35
2. You know how to have fun but you're secretly a nerd at heart
3. You are UNDER 6 ft. tall (yes, that says under—as in "less than")
4. And you're overall awesome, charming, smart, witty, adorable, and otherwise perfect :)

And just to save us all a little time, it probably won't work out if:

1. You own a selfie stick
2. You update your status on social media more than once a day
3. You find it weird or annoying that I have a legitimate hang up about the "me"/"I" distinction
4. You identify as a Republican or were ever a member of Fed Soc (attorneys, I'm talking to you)
5. You think going on a Carnival Cruise is a good (or even remotely pleasant) way to travel
6. You have a pedophilic fetish for short girls
More