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32 Warrenton, VA Cis Woman

Cis Woman

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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 27-42
  • Near me
  • For new friends

My details

Last online
Nov 28
Pansexual, Heteroflexible, Queer
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Mostly monogamous
5' 2" (1.57m)
Body Type
Other and laughing about it
Dropped out of Space camp
Doesn’t have kids
Has cats
English (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
"Look man, I'm telling you right off the bat, I'm high-maintenance, so... I'm not gonna tip-toe around your marriage, or whatever it is you've got goin' there. If you wanna be with me, you're with me. Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours." - Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

If I'm being honest, my ideal situation is one where I have my husband (the husbot, as I lovingly call him.) And a loving Dom/me who can share life with me in their own ways.

I'm on FetLife: martyrized (shocker, there.)

I'll make a note here that I'm polyamorous. I suppose the term I fit into is 'poly-fidelity'. Polyamory, to me, is not the pursuit of just getting laid. If you're looking for a quick hookup, move the fuck along, because I'm not interested in being someone's living masturbatory aid. Don't expect me to answer your invasive questions if I don't fucking feel like it.

I am a passionate person. I'm damaged goods. I'm possessive. I'm bitchy. I'm callous. I'm loving. I'm kind. I'm laid-back. I'm demanding. I fall easily. I'm unapologetically surly. I'm a submissive. I'm a walking contradiction, and I need/want someone to love me for the fact that I can be quite literally like Dr. Jekyll and Miss Hyde.

Have you ever stopped and thought about the future?

Happy Fun Quotes About Autumn:
"If conversations were babies, you'd be a 24-hour abortion clinic" - An ex.

"You have the compassion of a cold steel blade, you never make it hurt more than it needs to." - another ex

"You're like that little devil that sits on everyone's shoulder when they have moral dilemmas." - my brother

"Under that smartass lies an absolute sweetheart (though under that sweetheart hides an absolute stone cold bitch :P)" - a friend of mine

"You're pretty and scary and pretty and scary and then pretty again. I have no idea how to approach you." - OKCupid Users

"Holy shit. I almost forgot that you're hilariously evil." - my brother, again.
Life tip: do not try to out-drink the alcoholic of your social group. It leads only to pain; puking out the backseat window of your friend's car, painting the door with stomach acid and what had yet to be digested of your broccoli bites. Before you know it, you're curled up on the floor of another friend's bathroom, wrapped up in their grandmother's antique pink afghan (you know the one... with the rose-colored tassels on the ends), wedged between the toilet and the wall with a red potato that has some strange looking chunks taken out of it so it looked like a little dude with toothpick limbs standing triumphantly on your shuddering body, begging for someone to end your pain because you know that one of those people you were drinking with had a camera, and you know that, somewhere, there would be photos of you in this pathetic state, floating around the internet.

I've seen some shit man.

I run a personal blog:
I am an OWbN Girl:
I am mercurial, agoraphobic, and a tiny ball of hate who loves often and openly.
I am a misanthrope by nature, a pirate by trade, a romantic at heart, a workaholic by necessity, and a bitch by design.
I am also a legend in my spare time.

Consider for a moment, if you will, Schrödinger's Cat.
That is where you stand with me at the moment.
Are you sure you want to talk to me?
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
work, eat, game, sleep, repeat.

all work and no play makes autumn a dull girl. all work and no play makes autumn a dull girl. all work and no play makes autumn a dull girl... ad infinitum.

In all seriousness: I work as a graphic designer, web designer, social media manager and digital media consultant. I'm a domestic goddess for a household of two adults and six felines. I'm a writer. I'm a roleplayer. I'm a freelance artist. I'm a blogger of many topics: gaming, art, feminism, politics, polyamory, and personal stuff.

Chances are I might mention you in my blog if you do any of the following:
- really inspire me
- really annoy me
- really creep me out
- really impress me
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.

Art, Snark, rambling, procrastinating, making lists, spending more money than I currently have, making an ass of myself, finding art, and pwning n00bs

The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Depends on the person, I suppose. Maybe I'm short? Or perhaps that I'm a redhead? Or something else... but I refuse to tolerate sexist bullshit.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Since I'm kind of out of touch with current media trends, I'll list here in the following format: "Of the Now" means something I currently am loving the hell out of; "Of the Always" are my 'classics', which I go back to and consume when nothing else has caught my eye.

Book(s) of the Now: The Harry Dresden series by Jim Butcher

Authors of the Always: Neil Gaiman, Poppy Z. Brite, Anne Rice, Richard Knaak, William Shakespeare, Edgar Allen Poe, H.P. Lovecraft, Douglas Adams, Laurell K. Hamilton, Stephen King

Movie(s) of the Now: CRIMSON PEAK + The Only Lovers Left Alive
Movie(s) of the Always: Anything by Kevin Smith, Fight Club, All things Rob Zombie, Lord of the Rings Trilogy, Labyrinth, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Moulin Rouge, Pirates of the Caribbean Trilogy, Saw (the entire franchise), Rocky Horror Picture Show, Jackass (All of them), The Crow, The Vampire Journals, Any cheesy vampire movies, Anything written by Charlie Kaufman

Song(s) of the Now: "Kiss" by The Romanovs, "cosmic love" by Florence + the Machine, "Stigmata Martyr" by Abney Park, "feral love" by Chelsea Wolfe
Music of the Always: VNV Nation, Apoptygma Berzerk, Wolfsheim, De/vision, Peter Murphy, Tom Waits, Nick Cave, Gary Numan, The Pyrates Royale, Dead Can Dance, Fall Out Boy, Assemblage 23, And One, Wumpscut, Neuroticfish, Covenant, Wumpscut, Front 242, Project Pitchfork, Voltaire, Switchblade Symphony, and more.

Food(s) of the Now: Steak. Rare. In fact, just threaten the meat with the grill and I'll love you forever. *nom*
Food(s) of the Always: I should note here that my stomach's soul is from the deep south. I love all things Cajun and Creole. Appeal to me with Sushi, Quesadillas, Anything spicy or involving the word 'brownie'
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Since I hate the phrasing of this question, I'm going to instead list the things I am obsessed with.

- Pirates
- Cthulhu
- Steampunk/Victoriana
- Tentacles
- Supernatural things (Ghosts, Vampires, etc.)
- World of Warcraft
- Final Fantasy XIV: ARR
- Renn Faires
- Roleplaying Games (Tabletop, Live-Action, and Online)
- Egyptology
- Art
- Bones, blood, and viscera
- Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab Perfume Oils
- Goth 'subculture'
- Anthropomorphism
- Purples

BONUS ROUND: We have six felines in this house. They are very loving and snuggle with people often. It's kind of necessary that you at the very least don't mind cats. If you're allergic and come hang out, I am more than happy to dose you with antihistamines. I keep several variants in stock in my powder room.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How can I ruin this with my feminism?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Working. Or, if I'm off, I'm sitting at home with a drawing, painting, or online. possibly out roleplaying. or whatever. It depends on my mood, and that changes a lot. Any other night, chances are that I'm logged into World of Warcraft or Final Fantasy XIV, dicking around with people.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
... shut up.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Some Things:

1. You should probably actually read my profile. I don't mean just skimming it and fapping to the photos.

2. Seriously. Read my profile.

3. Don't bother to contact me if you identify as a men's rights activist or a brony.

4. 'Meh' needs to be something you can handle being a response to any and all questions. Be advised I am a curmudgeony little asshole, with a very low tolerance for stupid. Also see #1 and #2.

5. I rely heavily on statistics and math on this site. If you have a 0% match with me, I'm not likely going to reply.
5a. If you do have a 0% match with me and I happen to respond to you, you might be getting trolled by me, or you might actually be interesting to me.

6. I also will not respond to random messages that are the text equivalent of cat-calling, so you'd better be able to speechify if you want a conversation with me.

7. If I'm curt with you, there's likely a reason.

8. I am not looking for others to have relationships with because my marriage is on the skids or I am on my way to getting divorced, so if you think that's what I'm about, move along.