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31 Warrenton, VA Woman


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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 27–40
  • Near me
  • For new friends

My details

Last online
Jul 3
Pansexual, Heteroflexible, Queer
5′ 1″ (1.55m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Other, and laughing about it
Virgo, and it’s fun to think about
Dropped out of space camp
Art / Music / Writing
Rather not say
Open relationship
Mostly monogamous
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
My husband and I are happily married but we are open to finding new friends and possible relationships.
We believe in living life rather than adhering to ancient institutions.

I'm on FetLife: martyrized (shocker, there.)

I'll make a note here that I'm polyamorous. I suppose the term I fit into is 'poly-fidelity'. Polyamory, to me, is not the pursuit of just getting laid. If you're looking for a quick hookup, move the fuck along, because I'm not interested in being someone's living masturbatory aid. Don't expect me to give personal details that aren't your business, such as the arrangements me and mine have.

I am a passionate person. I'm damaged goods. I'm possessive. I'm bitchy. I'm callous. I'm loving. I'm kind. I'm laid-back. I'm demanding. I fall easily. I'm unapologetically surly. I'm a submissive. I'm a walking contradiction, and I need/want someone to love me for the fact that I can be quite literally like Dr. Jekyll and Miss Hyde.

Have you ever stopped and thought about the future?

"Look man, I'm telling you right off the bat, I'm high-maintenance, so... I'm not gonna tip-toe around your marriage, or whatever it is you've got goin' there. If you wanna be with me, you're with me. Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours." - Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Happy Fun Quotes About Autumn:
"If conversations were babies, you'd be a 24-hour abortion clinic" - An ex.

"You have the compassion of a cold steel blade, you never make it hurt more than it needs to." - another ex

"You're like that little devil that sits on everyone's shoulder when they have moral dilemmas." - my brother

"Under that smartass lies an absolute sweetheart (though under that sweetheart hides an absolute stone cold bitch :P)" - a friend of mine
Life tip: do not try to out-drink the alcoholic of your social group. It leads only to pain; puking out the backseat window of your friend's car, painting the door with stomach acid and what had yet to be digested of your broccoli bites. Before you know it, you're curled up on the floor of another friend's bathroom, wrapped up in their grandmother's antique pink afghan (you know the one... with the rose-colored tassels on the ends), wedged between the toilet and the wall with a red potato that has some strange looking chunks taken out of it so it looked like a little dude with toothpick limbs standing triumphantly on your shuddering body, begging for someone to end your pain because you know that one of those people you were drinking with had a camera, and you know that, somewhere, there would be photos of you in this pathetic state, floating around the internet.

I've seen some shit man.

I run a personal blog:
I am an OWbN Girl:
I am mercurial, agoraphobic, and a tiny ball of hate who loves often and openly.
I am a misanthrope by nature, a pirate by trade, a romantic at heart, a workaholic by necessity, and a bitch by design.
I am also a legend in my spare time.

Consider for a moment, if you will, Schrödinger's Cat.
That is where you stand with me at the moment.
Are you sure you want to talk to me?
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
work, eat, game, sleep, repeat.

all work and no play makes autumn a dull girl. all work and no play makes autumn a dull girl. all work and no play makes autumn a dull girl... ad infinitum.

In all seriousness: I work in a frame shop. I also work as a graphic designer, web designer, social media manager and digital media consultant. I'm a domestic goddess for a household of three adults and six felines. I'm a writer. I'm a roleplayer. I'm a freelance artist. I'm a blogger of many topics: gaming, art, feminism, politics, polyamory, and personal stuff.

Chances are I might mention you in my blog if you do any of the following:
- really inspire me
- really annoy me
- really creep me out
- really impress me
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.

Art, Snark, rambling, procrastinating, making lists, spending more money than I currently have, making an ass of myself, finding art, and pwning n00bs

The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Depends on the person, I suppose. Generally, it's the boobs. 38G's can be distracting.

Also I suppose I'm short.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Since I'm kind of out of touch with current media trends, I'll list here in the following format: "Of the Now" means something I currently am loving the hell out of; "Of the Always" are my 'classics', which I go back to and consume when nothing else has caught my eye.

Book(s) of the Now: Drift by Rachel Maddow, the Harry Dresden series by Jim Butcher

Authors of the Always: Neil Gaiman, Poppy Z. Brite, Anne Rice, Richard Knaak, William Shakespeare, Edgar Allen Poe, H.P. Lovecraft, Douglas Adams, Laurell K. Hamilton, Stephen King

Movie(s) of the Now: The Avengers: Age of Ultron
Movie(s) of the Always: Anything by Kevin Smith, Fight Club, All things Rob Zombie, Lord of the Rings Trilogy, Labyrinth, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Moulin Rouge, Pirates of the Caribbean Trilogy, Saw (the entire franchise), Rocky Horror Picture Show, Jackass (All of them), The Crow, The Vampire Journals, Any cheesy vampire movies, Anything written by Charlie Kaufman

Song(s) of the Now: "Hate me" by Blue October, "blank space" by Taylor Swift (it's played at work and I enjoy the lyrics), "cosmic love" by Florence + the Machine, "Stigmata Martyr" by Abney Park, "feral love" by Chelsea Wolfe
Music of the Always: VNV Nation, Apoptygma Berzerk, Wolfsheim, De/vision, Peter Murphy, Tom Waits, Nick Cave, Gary Numan, The Pyrates Royale, Rhea's Obsession, Dead Can Dance, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Covenant, Wumpscut, Front 242, Project Pitchfork, Voltaire, and more.

Food(s) of the Now: Steak. Rare. In fact, just threaten the meat with the grill and I'll love you forever. *nom*
Food(s) of the Always: Sushi, Quesadillas, Anything spicy or involving the word 'brownie'
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.

Since I hate the phrasing of this question, I'm going to instead list the things I am obsessed with.

- Pirates
- Cthulhu
- Steampunk/Victoriana
- Tentacles
- Supernatural things (Ghosts, Vampires, etc.)
- World of Warcraft
- Renn Faires
- Roleplaying Games (Tabletop, Live-Action, and Online)
- Egyptology
- Art
- Bones, blood, and viscera
- Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab Perfume Oils
- Goth 'subculture'
- Anthropomorphism

BONUS ROUND: We have six felines in this house. They are very loving and snuggle with people often. It's kind of necessary that you at the very least don't mind cats. If you're allergic and come hang out, I am more than happy to dose you with antihistamines.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How can I ruin this with my feminism?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Working. Or, if I'm off, I'm sitting at home with a drawing, painting, or online. possibly out roleplaying. or whatever. It depends on my mood, and that changes a lot. Any other night, chances are that I'm logged into World of Warcraft or Final Fantasy XIV, dicking around with people.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
... shut up.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Some Things:

1. You should probably actually read my profile. I don't mean just skimming it and fapping to the photos.

2. Seriously. Read my profile.

3. Don't bother to contact me if you identify as a men's rights activist or a brony.

4. 'Meh' needs to be something you can handle being a response to any and all questions. Be advised I am a curmudgeony little asshole, with a very low tolerance for stupid. Also see #1 and #2.

5. I rely heavily on statistics and math on this site. If you have a 0% match with me, I'm not likely going to reply.

6. I also will not respond to random messages that are the text equivalent of cat-calling, so you'd better be able to speechify if you want a conversation with me.

7. If I'm curt with you, there's likely a reason.