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28 Austin, TX Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18–30
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Online now!
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body type
Strictly anything
When drinking
Atheism, but not too serious about it
Pisces, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Mostly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids
Has dogs
English (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hi-yo, I'm one in the throngs of ever replicating Austin neophytes whom have come to destroy your once pure city-town. May I intern in your clique? I will be your sycophantic gopher-boy who will fetch you coffees and praise your mediocre hairdo. No really, it looks GREAT! Don't let me trick you though. I am not one of you. I live in Round Rock. Resist the temptation to scuff my ego with your swt Nike trainers, plx.

But look. Glib rhetoric aside, my black hole soul ends in a pile of pink blankets for the special ones. Are you a special one? Are you? Maybe. Let's see! And if my sales pitch of an overly wrought two paragraphs surely dwarfs the bumbling visage you somehow find yourself on a date with, well... feed me some alcohol or something. Then you'll surely be impressed by how capable I am of *insert amusing thing* in a half-baked attempt to entertain you! But really, I hope for our first date we just meet at a bar or party or something.

update: two months into my Austin experience, so far, so lame. I'm finally not broke, but am currently busy as all get out trying to build up my illustration biz. Hopefully I can spare some time for a date, err umm, fun time out soon.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I graduated from SCAD with my illustration degree. Trying to get work from like golf digest and pest control monthly or maybe some more high end pubs like NYT or Thrasher or some shit. My website l0.0k---->

This year I am fixing my finances because fuck being poor. This means my life is boring and when I'm not at work, I'm working at home.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
minor gymnastic feats, pretending to be excited online!, sleeping at odd times, walking silently, and drawing
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Tall, skinny, my hair is crazy (if it's longer)
That my appearance lags behind my age, "hey mr. 5yr old!"
That I'm sitting on the same chair with my arm around them, eatin popcorn watchin spykids 3d
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.!/album/Yesterday+Was+Dramatic+Today+Is+Ok/266528

Books- I've reformed back to dilletantism. I still like Proust, Nabokov, David Foster Wallace, and Want to read John Franzen. Really dry shit too like, "Getting Acquainted in Conversation" a metalinguistic tome on politeness theory.


Art: Crumb, Ware, Mughal Painting, Dave Choe, James Jean, marina abromovic

Shows: Dating Naked, Peep Show, An Idiot Abroad, and other awfulness
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
reddit (shoot me)
food (LOLE)
bitter sarcasm to avoid sincerity
karl pilkington
constant victory
jamaroquai album
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Why Austin doesn't have a mass transit system.
What city will I move to that is not Austin?

What an exception I am to the human race. Meta-irony, gender issues, poverty, visual/musical thoughts. Not that I'm small as fuck and made out of self-organizing stardust or that everything is probably infinite.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Wishing I could go out downtown but I live in Round Rock so HEY WHATEVER FRIENDS IS ON NETFLIX
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That I have a pool game on my phone and you have to pay imaginary tokens to play. You are alotted one slot machine pull per day to acquire said tokens. I do it every day whether I play pool or not. It makes me feel good winning these tokens.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You smarter than me by only a lil bit. You good lookiner than me by only a lil bit. You richer than me by only a lil bit. You don't think that white people and men are made of doodoo and evil spirits. I like glasses too, but I can only ask for so much.