elan in search of my haley. if you know what the hell i'm even talking about, that's probably a good first step.

i am a quirky, sarcastic, functionally quasi-neurotic, late gen-xer, cyber/hipster/goth/new-wave/geek bookseller.

i have been accused of being distant, deliberately vague, unreadable, emotionally crippled, sarcastic, difficult, stubborn, argumentative, contrary, mildly obsessive/ complusive, girly, flighty, and sociophobic; all of which are mostly likely true to some degree or another at some time or another. except argumentative, which i'm not.

am not.

i've also been accused of being sweet, thoughtful, creative, a hard worker, freakishly intuitive, endearingly quixotic, and just plain, out-and-out odd; all of which are also most likely true.

i am a geek in almost every sense of the word (and a few additional meanings) except the strictly traditional guy-who-bites-the-heads-off-of-chickens-at-the-ca­​rnival-side-show sort of way. i am a fan of comics, computers, next gen tech, sci-fi, fantasy, rpgs, and all that (but not necesarily the bag of proverbial chips), as well as being a huge fan of usually strange and obscure music. i like to sing at karaoke, even though i'm convinced that i suck rocks. i still haven't found a good karaoke bar here, though. actually, i haven't even found a bad one.

i'm a strange mix of contradictions.

i like to cook, i like to bake, and i like to clean. in a relationship, i do not like to be the only person who does these things. i firmly believe that you can't truly judge how good or bad a relationship is without living together. yes, that means that i believe in (and highly tout) premarital sex. i do not, however, encourage meaningless, casual sex. i detest one-night stands, and the only ones i've been involved in are ones where i was the one who was stood. standed? whatever.

i am apparently a 'flexitarian,' which apparently means i'm a confirmed carnivore who happens to also enjoy vegetarian things (yay for gardenburgers, vegetable lasagna, salads, and perogies!). i like to make fun of vegetarians and try to trick them into eating meat (or maybe just think they're eating meat). like i said, i'm full of contrdictions.

in a relationship, i really enjoy curling up with that special someone and a good book, and reading aloud before bed. but i like to occasionally be the one being read to.

in that general vein, i firmly believe that relationships are very much give and take. i won't do or ask anything of someone that i wouldn't be willing to give myself.

working. writing. sleeping. eating. using the facilities. you know, the usual.

selling books. reading books. making music. listening to music. playing rpgs. writing rpgs. breathing. singing... slightly off-key... just enough so that it annoys you.

my tentacles. or maybe my eyes. but probably the tentacles, yeah.

A) anything by Christopher Moore, Neil Gaiman, William Gibson, Natasha Mostert, Neal Stephenson, China Mieville, Hunter S. Thompson, or Chuck Klosterman. tons of other stuff, too. hell, books are my life.

b) Children of Men, Blade Runner, Erik the Viking, Cabin Boy. tons and tons of movies. i am a total and unrepentant media slut. We can throw TV in here in too, no? Heroes, House, Fringe, Smallville, Dollhouse, Legend of the Seeker, Kings. Currently re-watching all the episodes of the X-Files in order.

3) Joanna Newsom, Interpol, Apoptygma Berzerk, VNV Nation, Covenant, The Shins, The Legendary Pink Dots, Portishead, Beth Gibbons & Rustin' Man, Ryan Adams, Gorillaz, Goldfrapp, GusGus, Massive Attack, Kate Bush, Sigur Ros, Lykke Li, tthe Decemberists... tons and tons and tons of music. see afforementioned media slutitude. i enjoy hard thumping electro industrial dance with the bass cranked so high that you can feel it in your stomach. i also enjoy the lawrence welk show. i like to think that i hit about every stop between the two.

iv) food? really? books, movies, music, and... food? hm. i like meat. i like not meat. food is good, it keeps me from dying. except for raspberries, which do the opposite.

the numerals one through six. seven through nine are superfluous. zero is a conspiracy.

or:

polyhedral dice, Munchkin, my bull-headed and ill-fated certainty that there ARE sane gamer girls out there somewhere, office supplies, jeans and thermal henleys, and air. roughly in that order. also, see 'food,' above.

exactly what electricity is and why it works. how good pancakes are. what would happen if i exploded. how much i hate being alone. what makes smells smell. why men have nipples. where in the world IS carmen sandiego? what a neat word "superfluous" is. how i can get my diplomacy score even higher than +43 at 7th level. what would happen if i spontaneously combusted. if my sophomore high school geometry teacher really was H.P. Lovecraft, or if he just bore an uncanny resemblance. how awesome rutger hauer is. was that a ghost or just another hallucnation?

usualy sitting at home and reading.

i get overly excited about stupid things like office supplies and new kitchen appliances.

you choose to. geez, that was tough, neh?