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32 Los Angeles, CA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 27–38
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Online now!
Asian, Pacific Islander
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Strictly other
Trying to quit
Other, and very serious about it
Pisces, and it’s fun to think about
Dropped out of space camp
Politics / Government
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), Tagalog (Okay), Other (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hi I'm matt. A Geeky sir mix a lot who likes big books and he cannot lie. Just a Jedi looking for love in alderan places.What's my experience with women you ask? Well she said she met me at the vegetarian club but I've never seen herbivore.

yeah geeky punny tall fit bro who loves poker and works in politics, and basically has "dad humor" Pretty much sums it up. Oh wait. I forgot. Can totally be the douchey counterpart to your power bitch work personsa, but only for work functions please. I enjoy relaxing and enjoying myself during my time off

I notice a lot of women have "don't message me if you don't know the difference between their, there, and they're" on their profiles.

Why not just put "NO dumbasses allowed" the guys that you're trying to screen will probably understand you better. Then again that might cut out prospective dates, and a dinner out probably beats that vegan pizza and humus salad you got at trader joes right?

NO! Any dinner lacking in the essential ingredients laughtonius and Funium just isn't worth having. These are often left out of food pyramid charts because they're only found in side servings of witty conversation.

And when I'm not engaged in wordplay, you'll find me attempting to insert as many semi-colons, the red-headed stepchild of the grammar family, into reports as possible. I find it gives my writing a william shatneresque amounts of paused for effect.

So while I have been accused of being a grammar nazi, I like to think of myself as a grammar enthusiast.

So if by some miracle we get through exchanging messages, texting, and then a phone conversation or two and we make it dinner, please uphold your end of the social contract and be witty and funny, since good looks alone make for terrible company, although admittedly, they don't hurt your chances.

I do promise to keep the chiding and teasing to a minimum, unless we're around other people. Then I have to play the douchey alpha role if for no other reason then to get the best table at whatever restaurant we're at, but i do know that its all nonsense and just for show.

Oh yeah and this had always gone without saying but I guess I'll just put it out there. I'm an adult, please be one too. Own place own car work because I love it deliberately spend my time instead of being a passive participant in life.

Oh yeah, and if I wrote you some funny nonsense, that's because I think lighthearted witty interactions are the best.

Btw ladies. "NO dumbasses allowed" -=D
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm a political consultant! What does that mean? You mean you don't know? It's okay I dont either. My job functions are similar to barney stintsons: wear suits everyday, say a lot of catch phrases and make sure that struggling students are able to go to school.

But seriously. I open offices in major cities, gather support for candidates or issues, and train teams of people to do the same type of work.

Succinctly I'm a professional bully.

And when I'm off. Eat sleep rave repeat.

Oh yeah, and FIGHTING the good fight. Apparently I'm like super great at gambling, and am trying to quit. Which baffles all my buddies who still LOVE gambling. Bro! There's so much more to life. -=D
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Every game known to humanity. I'm the ender wiggins of gaming. (If you dont know ender wiggins, fine im the paul atreides of gaming, if you don't know ender or paul we probably shouldnt be friends)

If you can continually beat me at any turn based game, ill be infinitely more interested than if you had coke bottle measurements
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Probably that i'm yelling "bro" or "ma'am" at them or the hello kitty case on my phone or ipad.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Dune, divergent, hyperion, enders game, graphic novels, marvel, aoa, house of m, doomwar

Inception, matrix, radio free ablemuth, the kingdom

Himym friends the office spartacus suits dexter, PARKS AND RECs. if you don't love/hate jeremy jam #Ijustcanteven

edm, that is all
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Workout drugs
Magic the gathering
Vests and ties
Music festivals
Visit and revisiting someone's profile a million times after they've reviewed mine a few times instead of just messaging each other. Oh wait no I hate that.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
A study showed that women's greatest fear online was that men were actually serial killers.

While men's greatest fear online was that women were actually men.

Seem's accurate. So I promise not to kill you, and in return please don't show up with boy parts.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Fridays, i'm usually eating kbbq and then deciding whether to go make more money for the week at commerce casino or spending it singing into a large glass of hite at a kareoke.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I think people under 5'5 should only get 3/5's of a vote.

It's ingrained in my thinking that I should be a cocky douchebag, and that idea actually appeals to me, when in reality, i'm just not. Sorry Ladies.

The only thing I hate more than lying is skim milk. And that's just water that's lying about being milk.

Lastly this just happened in may 2015. I was working in the field. A random walker by called me a con man and a perv. Distraught I texted my two female bffs. They both loled. -_- . With friends like these...
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You realistically:

Tall, geeky, no kids, fit

What I'd like:

We text everyday. Go to dinner 2x a week. Crazy sex on the weekends. Just not during the week cause I'll be too tired for work. You have your own place and I have mine. Ta da.

Now it would super awesome if:

Likes her job but would be open to travelling with me as a political consultant (it's a super easy job that pays well, plus you'd learn how to do it from the best! Travelling the country getting paid tons of money, doing a little villainy, every princesses dream right?)

Or you're a fellow business owner. I Actually get along best with this type of person, but will probably try to friendzone you instantly, because well even if we stop dating we can always be in the same mastermind circles.

now for funny nonsense:

You should message me if

- you never use the phrase yolo

- you are way smarter than the average bear.

- when you hear weed you think about that pest bothering your tomato plants and not what you used to smoke in college

- you'd like to be the waldorf to my stantler

- the words turtle and trip throw mean something special to u


- whole fat milk is your idea of "heavy drinking"

- you enjoy long walks ....... to the fridge

- you'd love a gay best friend but you don't want to go the trouble of finding one, so you've secretly friend zoned a guy you know that likes you and you treat him that way

-you're open to the idea that inspector gadget is secretly dr. claw and thats why we never see him

- you would like to "eat, sleep, rave, repeat" or alternatively the geek version "eat sleep read repeat"

-You own bandanas AND tutus for said raving.

- Ditto on the bandana's and tutus, but for reading -=P

- you wish luke had killed the emperor and ruled the galaxy alongside vader

-you would have also accepted luke killing vader and joining the emperor.

-you're excited for board game night with your friends

- you like men in suits

- you look even better in your outfit than your accessory, your date in the suit, who convieniently drove you to dinner, and is paying -=P

- you think that chef boyardee is made by the evil tomato bisque conglomerates targeting children

- you prey for reign

- you'd never strip but respect the hustle

-you want to collect memories not possessions

- you liked rice rockets

- you never skip leg day

- you tease the bros that do

- you liked a nice fade but now dig combovers

- you understand that i'm not a business-man. I'm a BUSINESS. MAN.

_ you don't wear a helmet.

- unless it comes with the rest of your Boba fett bodysuit

-you'd like to be the council woman knope to my jerry jam

- you don't mind a mustache in movember

- our two signature poses for pictures work with each other, IE we both have the same good side.

- you're not interested in casual sex. I always wear slacks and a tie.

- you'd roll with cable sentinel and doom, and would never pick magneto sentinel and storm

- you like being the little spoon

- one day you'd like to "wise fwom yo gwave" ala altered beast

- you can play poker

- those weren't the droids you were looking for

- you can dig that for work I'm a professional bully, so off work I'm super nice to balance it out.

- you wish chip damage didn't exist, but since it does you embrace it in your mixup

- 'Murica

- you are tired of guys acting like they're Oprah on these dating sites. "You get a dick pic! you get a dick pic! And you"

- you genuinely enjoy villain monologues and speeches

- you can find the intentional typo in this profile

- yo mama's so classless, she could be a Marxist utopia

- you are a GOAL digger. Gold diggers can get the steppin' unless you have nice cans. Then it's cool.

- your idea of gospel music is when rick ross says "hallejuiah"

- You know which of the 11 doctors is your favorite

- you've had one night stand, but think a second one would really balance out the room

-you get that i'm a regular guy, who smells his socks one foot at time just like anyone else

-you've got a good message me if joke to fill in the blank space

- you feel comfortable reading this profile, i type exactly like I talk.

- you think you'd enjoy a contrast of stark reality and ridiculousness

- you're old enough to know the difference and young enough not to care

- DON'T talk to me unless you're 100% positive. Otherwise you sound kind of negative. -=P

- you're you, I can be me, and we have fun being we

- you get that money is fuel and you get to pick the destination.

-And finally for sticking through this nonsense of a profile Here's some Libertarian Porn for you. ( It's hilarious)