What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.

What's red and sits in the corner?

A naughty strawberry.

What's green and sings?

Elvis Parsley.

Okay, enough with the silly jokes.

I am funny, witty, and other ___y words. I'm passionate, satirical, and my middle name should be "non-sequitur." I will try almost anything once, and my hobbies include random midnight excursions and figuring out how to best cook 4 different Hot Pockets simultaneously.

For a couple months in college, I convinced everyone in my building that I was English.

I once accidentally committed grand theft auto. No charges were pressed.

I have an infinite capacity to laugh at myself.

I think that "You've Got Mail" is better than "Sleepless in Seattle" and "When Harry Met Sally" had a cop-out ending.

I savor frosted glass, dark woods, and brushed metal in furniture.

In the interest of full disclosure, five things (of many):

1) Sock puppets: pitiful substitute for proper puppets, even for the economically disenfranchised.

2) Apple pie: infinitely overrated attention-whore trying to draw you away from the incomparable deliciousness of cherry.

3) Cookies 'n cream ice cream: mint chocolate chip clearly offers a superior juxtaposition of flavors.

Saving the world (sic) as a former solar cells, current financial econometrics PhD student.

Adding to the list of places I've lived. Currently stands at: Atlanta, Boston, Chapel Hill (NC), Cincinnati, Minneapolis, San Francisco.

Repartee, Stock Trading, Golf, Window Shopping, Stealing Chapstick

He's kinda tall for an Asian, don't you think?

24, 30 Rock, 60 Minutes, American Dad, Arrested Development, Battlestar Galactica, Beauty and the Geek, Big Bang Theory, Boston Legal, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Californication, Castle, Chuck, Colbert Report, Community, Coupling, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Daily Show, Dexter, Dirty Sexy Money, Doctor Who, Documentaries, Drive, Entourage, Eureka, Family Guy, Fast Money, Fringe, Frontline, Glee, Grey's Anatomy, Heroes, House M.D., How I Met Your Mother, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Kings, The L Word, Lie to Me, Lost, The Lost Room, Mad Men, Monty Python's Flying Circus, Mythbusters, NOVA, Numb3rs, The Office, Pardon the Interruption, Prison Break, Pushing Daisies, Q.I., Reaper, Rome, Saturday Nigh Live, Sex and the City, Shark Tank, Skins, The Sopranos, South Park, Spooks, Sportscenter, Stargate, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, The IT Crowd, Top Gear, This American Life, The Tudors, Twin Peaks, Warehouse 13, Weeds, The West Wing, The X-Files

Laptop, iPhone, internet, and online forums
Curiosity
Passion
Humor
Friends and companions
Sleep, even though I don't get much

How the hell I'm ever going to get all my work done.

Eating proper food more than once a week.

Being really, really, ridiculously good looking.

Out with friends, usually in Decatur Square or Virginia Highlands. The bartenders at Brickstore all know me. That's a good thing...right?

I'm usually willing to say or tell anything.

You think you can keep up with me. Perhaps more importantly, if you prefer McDonald's fries to Burger King's.