35 Washington, DC
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My self-summary
Wanted: Amazing girl that wants to sail the Caribbean, travel the world, and generally enjoy a life other people wish they had.

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." - Mark Twain

I spent 6 months travelling and living in Colombia last year. I love living in the DC area but most Washingtonians take themselves way too seriously. I'd prefer someone to be more passionate about life than their job, unless of course if their job is saving the world. This pretty much sums up how I live:

Finding the right girl is like looking for a black hole. You can't
see it directly but you have to look for how it affects the things
around it.

In all seriousness I believe that meeting someone for the first time with the idea of starting a relationship is ludicrous. I'd much prefer to meet as friends with the possibility of something in the future if we become close.
What I’m doing with my life
Living it. Trying to balance work and play. Recently accepted a position as a math teacher here in the District, should be fun :)

Recently bought a guitar and am teaching myself how to play.

I also volunteer to teach English as a second language.
I’m really good at
Laughing at the ridiculous situations I get myself into. Getting around DC on my bike.

Making hot chocolate.
The first things people usually notice about me
I've been told my smile :)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
In Medellin I took up salsa dancing so I need to find a place in DC to practice.

I grew up listening to alternative but have a long and eclectic taste in music. Some of my Pandora stations are: Stan Getz, John Lee Hooker, RJD2, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Eric Clapton, Jamiroquai, Common, Outkast, and Tom Petty. Alice in Chains is completely under rated.

Kill Bill, Sin City, Super Troopers, Big Lebowski, Bourne Series, Swingers, Made, Clerks, Shawshank Redemption, Matrix, Dexter, Arrested Development, Sopranos, Entourage, Game of Thrones, Doctor Who.

The two favorite things I've read recently would be Old Man and the Sea and The Picture of Dorian Gray. I'm currently reading the Count of Monte Cristo and I'm always open to suggestions.
The six things I could never do without
Travel, Good Food, Good Drinks, Friends, Family. I guess I have 5 things, what else could you possibly need?
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Life, the universe, and everything. The number 42. How dark matter pisses me off but dark energy is fascinating.

Also women.
On a typical Friday night I am
Typical has gone out the door a long time ago
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm very traditional in that the way to my heart is through my stomach. I love to cook but typically Italian and American dishes so if you can compliment that with some Asian or Indian we'd be perfect :)

I'm snobby about music and beer, you should be too.

I look at the average person and think "you're doing it wrong".
You should message me if
If you like this idea for a first date:

Erase all doubt from your mind, for tonight, you will know love. Let me tell you how I am going to lay it down.

This afternoon, while you are on lunch break, I will have a handpicked team of florists cover your desk at work with a mixture of sensuous-smelling rose petals. They will also leave a note reading, "Girl, you are most fine. I will pick you up at 8." This will show you and your coworkers that Smoove is the man for you, as well as give you a glimpse into the personal attention I will lavish on you later that evening.

I will also instruct the delivery person to wait and clean the flowers off your desk when you are done looking at them, so that you can continue with your work day.

At precisely 8 o'clock, I will arrive in a pearl-white car to pick you up and transport us to dinner at the city's finest European restaurant. I will tell the driver to take the most romantic, scenic route possible to the restaurant. On the way, I will have a sterling-silver thermos filled with hot chocolate from the Swiss chocolate region. If it is too hot for you, I will blow on it until it is the correct temperature.

When you have finished the cocoa, I will take the empty cup away from you and pack up the thermos. I will then nuzzle your neck and whisper complimentary remarks into your ear, including, "You are more beautiful than a thousand lakes," "You are extremely special to me," and "Your bone structure belongs in a museum." This will make you wet.

Damn, girl. I want to get freaky with you right now on my desk. I want to ride you like a bronco.

When we arrive at the expensive European restaurant, the owner will greet me warmly and comment positively on your attire. He will then personally lead us to a private table I have specially selected for our evening together. As we browse the menu, I will inform you that if multiple appetizers are your wish, I can make that wish come true.

When the appetizers arrive, I will feed them to you with my hands, which I will have hand-washed with special anti-bacterial soap to ensure their cleanliness. You will then eat an entree of your choice and a dessert. While we eat these various foods, we will discuss your fineness and also your hopes and dreams for the future. This will make you feel closer to me and, as a result, make you want to sex me wild.

After the meal, we will forgo transportation and walk the five blocks back to my apartment, because the night will be so fragrant and beautiful. I will hold your hand and stroke your wrist lightly with my thumb. As we approach my apartment, I will pull you close, and it will feel right. It will feel like we are two interlocking pieces of a sexy panther jigsaw puzzle.

If the moon is full, I will point it out to you.

When we reach my penthouse, I will remove your shoes and kiss you passionately for five to ten minutes. Just when you think you are going crazy with desire, I will lead you to my large, circular bathtub. There, I will strip you down and place your naked body gently into the perfectly warm water. Then, I will wash you with a towel of my choosing. Make no mistake, it will be the perfect towel for your beautiful body, fitting your every luscious contour. If the scented perfumes I have placed in your bath water are not to your liking, I will drain the tub and we will start over. But they will not be incorrect, so we will not have to. I know you, girl.

After I have dried and moisturized you, I will comb your hair. If, while combing your hair, you would like me to comb either faster or harder, please say so. While I am doing this combing, you will think you will know love, but Smoove is ready to take you to the next level.

This is when Smoove will lead you to his canopy bed. Keith Sweat will be playing on my bedroom stereo, creating the perfect mood for us to freak all night. And freak all night is what we shall do. Between freakings, we will laugh and tell stories, and I will rub your neck and back. Then we will freak again. This will go on until the break of dawn.


When you wake up, I will make you French toast. If French toast is not what you desire, I will find another nationality of toast that suits you. I will not rest until I find this perfect nationality of toast, even if I have to swim all the way to Austria for it. After I find and make the toast, and you eat it, we will freak once more.

This is how the evening will go. This is how you will know love.

-Smoove B, The Onion

If you're not familiar with The Onion it is not supposed to be taken seriously, I hope you had a good laugh :)