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30 M Brooklyn, NY

My Details

Last Online
Today – 3:16am
6′ 0″ (1.84m)
Body Type
Strictly other
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
English (Fluently), German (Fluently), Spanish (Fluently), Portuguese (Fluently), Polish (Okay)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Gosh, I'm really bad at writing self-summaries (stock phrase 1).
I'd like others to be the judge... (stock phrase 2).
This is so stupid, but OK... (stock phrase 3).

I am more aware of stock phrases, cliche things and details in general than I'd wish to be. However I'm not judgmental about it - I'm not pointing them out to you like a dick. I am honest. I am shallow in terms of looks. See, I'm honest?! However nothing beats great chemistry. I'm a happy, optimistic and philanthropic guy - and a cynic at the same time. If these things sound somewhat contradictory to you, welcome to my world: in dealing with women I have to be able to handle a lot of contradiction. So why wouldn't you be able to?

I just noticed that my profile can be found with the following search-terms now: ass, tits, dick, cock, stupid and dumb - amazing, try to beat that!

BTW, if I visit your profile and I like what I see but there's only one photo up, then that's the reason why I didn't write you. If I'm seriously intrigued but your profile is pretty much empty, I consider your profile as "under construction" and may come back a few months later.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Work hard, pla... NAAAAAHH goofy cliche right there!! And even if it's actually true, every loser says that now.

A lot of you girls here ask me "how come you speak all those languages, what's your secret?" as a first, and many times only, question. I get it, it's a nice icebreaker, if you really just wanna know then ask me next time maybe.

I will destroy this icebreaker once and for all by revealing the "secret", which is the truth and nothing but the boring, lame and unpopular truth: there is no secret, there is no magic pill, there's only dedication, determination, full commitment to continuous and steady hard work, embracing every setback, loving the process, combined with drive, love and passion - sorry for being a bummer.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Making people laugh and have a good time.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Tits... my eyes are UP HERE, ladies!! HA, just kidding! It's obviously my gigantic cock that's usually hanging out and changes color depending on the mood I'm in.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
What place in the world to live in the future.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Out with my friends!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm going to alter that question a little to make it more interesting: Here are some fun facts after one year that I'm on this site. I scroll down my messages and find a lot of deleted accounts, 40% of the womens' profiles are deleted now (yes, I actually calculated that percentage). Many messages I get are from girls who just want to "test the waters" on this oh so crazy and exciting online-dating thing. That's fine by me, because here's how I see it:

95% of my dating still comes from real life, about 5% comes from online and I like to keep it that way. I am totally down for meeting some nice girl who's down for hanging out and, if there's mutual attraction, be my date or, if there's no mutual attraction, be a friend/buddy. This attitude is a great way of overcoming your fear of "awkwardness" by the way! - since a lot of you ladies are terrified by that but guess what, it's part of life and part of dating. If things get awkward let's turn them into fun, and if you don't know how to turn things into fun with me, then what am I doing with you anyway!?

When it comes to real life encounters that come from online, in order to enjoy them you have to be relaxed about the situation and your expectations. That way you don't have to feel "awkward" if you don't click with the other person but instead just hang out for a bit, say goodbye, and then be nice, smile and say hello when you run into each other again.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–40
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
the voices in your head tell you to do so. And if you don't have a thin/skinny/flat ass - I don't care about "models" since they're not allowed to have curves (at least no the professional ones). Now don't get offended, most white guys prefer skinny asses so please do not care about my opinion and personal taste and move on. Or let's just be friends.

You should not message me if you're very shy or uptight. I've created this profile also to put off women like that beforehand! Yes, I get that you girls have to protect your image by claiming to be at least "a little shy" but if it's too much I get bored fast and it's a turn-off. There's nothing wrong in being very shy but if you are, again, let's just be friends.

As to messages, here is how it goes: Almost all women on here say that just "hi/hey/hello + smiley" does not deserve a reply. Good, so why would I treat you differently? Because you're a woman? Nope. Because you're hot? Actually yes, I'll maybe make an exception if you're hot according to my own personal standards, if you're willing to take a gamble. If you just want to tell me something then write a real, genuine and honest message and you have my word, I will reply to you no matter what.

Once we have a conversation going, the message-/reply-ratio should be pretty much even because I will not chase you. But chasing is part of the game you say? Yes in a way, but if anything that goes only for REAL LIFE! This thing is ONLINE and until I haven't met you in real life you might as well be a fat guy in a Star Wars shirt - who probably doesn't even have a nice big ass! Let's all be grown-ups and respect each others time.