I’m a feminist because, seriously, what kind of jerk do you have to be to believe women don't deserve equal treatment?
I lean to the left, and not just because of the damage to my cerebellum.
I carry a harmonica in my jacket pocket, 'cause you never know when someone's gonna need a 12-bar blues. (Hint: Never)
I'm like the Jacques Cousteau of dive bars.
I studied philosophy, linguistics, and French in college, so you could say that I'm well-rounded, if by well-rounded you mean that I am equal to my diameter times pi.