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30 Portland, OR Genderqueer


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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 27-36
  • Near me
  • For new friends, casual sex

My details

Last online
Nov 29
Gay, Asexual, Demisexual, Pansexual, Queer
Open relationship
Relationship Type
5' 9" (1.76m)
Body Type
Might want kids
English (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Just erased my self summary. I guess I'm working on something new.

Queer anarcho-feminist. Hard femme. I always dress in drag. Partners with this sweetheart, lowbitrage.
Getting more open to the idea of one on one sex. I like to share experiences with my partner too. Atm that's my preference for reasons I'm happy to discuss on a less public forum. Besides personal reasons I just like sharing my life with them, sexually and otherwise.
Coming out of an intense period where I had a deficit of spoons.

I'm from Portland.

Nuanced politics with out metamorphosing into a liberal.

I like children. I make some things. I enjoy fermentation (not code for beer) and cloning plants (not code for weed). Having my physical space feel magical, beautiful and warm is important to me.

I prefer to date queers.
I have certain perceptions about my own identity and body and desire for others to not have expectations of either of those things. I find that queers are best at this.
Though I'm still game to talk about power deferentials and privilege I'm not game to accept labels that are fairly toxic for me. Example: it's sometimes hard to date het men and lesbians cause often those identites depend on me identifying as a woman)

I am hesitant about people who have a body type preference for their lovers, even if that preference is for my body type.

Not hung up on "bad" grammar, "bad" spelling, or academic qualifications. I mean, do what you do and if its empowering that is sincerely really great, but I have a hard time believing that those kinds of things make one better or more exciting than other folks. It bugs me if you think other people are stupid.

I am more concerned with serial monogamists who assume that they are "clean" (barf #awfullanguage) than intentional sluts with confirmed STIs.
I am actually super disappointed when I see people discussing this briefly and callously in their profiles. "I'm DD free and would like to stay that way kthnx" Is fucking rude. What an awful way to talk about STI statuses which is something that actually emotionally and physically impacts so many lives. Maybe don't be that person :/

Panasexual, versatile fluid switch. DIY, body positive, sex positive (for myself). Sometimes asexual or stone. Sexuality is complicated. I dont care if mine makes sense or not.

Im suspicious of people who describe themselves as empaths :/
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm busy.

Working on quietness, patience, listening and brevity.

Striving towards honesty - honesty with myself, honesty with others.

I don't have ambition in the school, career, "stability" sort of a way. I pretty much just want to be what I and some others consider to be a good person and do things that fulfill me and contribute to the people around me when I find people who want that contribution.
Maybe this will change in time but it has been true for most of my life, so if it does change I expect it to be a slow one.

Cloning succulents. I have started watching Star Trek for the first time in my life.

Currently having (/having just had?) a life freak out. Between that and all the other things I do or am trying to stop doing I don't really have a lot of space. I'm working on being present.

I have a really awesome job with great people. I guess a job is a job, the people though are truly excellent.

I spend a lot of time trying to contribute to a culture that listens to 'no'. I like to lend what I can to enable and empower myself and others to be able to say no without negative consequences.

I am interested in making latex clothing. Mostly to fuck in and wear to annoying and not so annoying events. Also to dinner with my family. You have to mix it up somehow.

Organizing some, but stepping back.
I have a lot of thoughts about transformative justice, some thoughts about grand juries.

Sometimes I record my voice singing or saying things.
Wearing outfits.

Trying to be alert to my emotions and deal with them in a transparent and appropriate way (though I acknowledge appropriate is a relative label) Interested that in others too. Attempting to be personally accountable for my actions etc...

I hang out with people a lot and have many close long-term relationships that I cherish and contribute time towards.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I like playing super mario world for SNES. I am good at cleaning up, non-goal oriented sex, being nice, being firm and confrontational.
I love to dance at goth/industrial nights and queer pop dance nights. I also enjoy metal shows and particularly feel nostalgia for house shows.

I casually wear very fancy dresses and talk about STIs openly.

*really this is such a bogus list because sometimes I am really good at these things and sometimes I'm not.

I am not good at: emailing back the next day - it usually takes me several days, watching a movie, sleeping - I have some body pain that makes that difficult some nights
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
"You have something right there, hanging from your nose. No, right there. Yeah, that. Oh. Is that a nose ring? Did that hurt?"

The outfits I wear look like costumes
My profile was edited by auto-correct and or is missing or repeating random words and my tenses are all mangled.

"Are you always like this!? You have so much energy!" #mania
"You're so posi!"
"It's unattractive when women spit"
"Those are really huge earrings, what are those 162mm?"
"Why do you wear so much black? Honey are you depressed?"
"Hey I love your dress!!"
"Was that you singing?"
"I love your hair, is it naturally like that?"
"Love the purple!"
"Subtle but you are totally passable!!"
"Hey baby, I like your...oh that's a fanny pack"
"Did you play basketball in highschool?"

I have really big hips.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I laugh out loud at Get Fuzzy comics.
I can get stuck on /r/funny for hours, it is extremely hit or miss though


Sci-fi, fantasy, non-fiction, some political theory, young adult dystopias, kinky-erotica, comix/graphic novels

Book candy: Ursula Le Guin, Ender's Game, Harry Potter, Dune, Octavia Butler, Anne Rice, Gail Carriger, Sherri Tepper, Clan of the Cave Bear etc, Stone Butch Blues, Douglas Adams, Lonely Werewolf Girl (and sequels), Kushiel's Dart etc.
Recently have been reading A Song of Ice and Fire and just discovered how hilarious the Discworld novels are!
Current comix infatuations: Saga, Sandman, Alex+Ada, Rat Queens, Blankets, Lumberjanes, Trees, Princeless. Funny and light but with depth. I really enjoy those with female or queer protagonists.

Inexplicable movie favorites:
Darjeeling Limited: thanks Wes Anderson for sucking me into another sometimes charming, quirky, and visually stunning though not particularly deep film about rich people, odd colonialism, and death. So over it. But actually obviously not.
Rivers and Tides, Labyrinth, Best in Show, Harry Potter, Lost in Translation, Garden State, Fantasia, Kill Bill, Inception, Resident Evil movies, Lord of the Rings, Bring It On.

The L word, Daria, The Office (US), Ace of Cakes, Dark Angel, Firefly. OH MY GOD STEVEN UNIVERSE. I like what Star Trek Ive seen.

I really like pop. Notably by "pop" music I mean music that is described as pop (see: Beyonce, Ke$ha, etc) but also catchy songs regardless of genre.
I like some modern and old timey folk, some metal, pop dance remixes, classical, fiddle, industrial and some gothy stuff.
cajun fiddle, banjo, gregorian chants, shape note singing, cello are some things I pretty consistently enjoy. I like to chill out and or fuck to post-metal and ambient electronica.

mushrooms, garlic, tangerines, spiced cider, sausage, kale, chia seeds, fresh basil, ice cream, mulled wine, ginger beer, curry paste, coconut milk, miso broth, almond milk, cashews, cupcakes, kombucha, fuji apples, dates, pho, cinnamon, beets, candied ginger, pork, anything with 'blueberry' as an idea, floral flavors and aromas, sticky rice, stouts/porters. Espresso drinks. Chai. Tea in general.
sweet & savory combos
I'm on again off again with sugar, but when it's on, it's really on. Bring the cake, 3 times a day!
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My glasses
Chosen peers
Counter culture
Dance music
Weird sex
Dental floss
Sci-fi and fantasy escapism
A ridiculous dress
STI tests
My period-cup-thing
A bed I can sleep on
Some sort of creative outlet
Toilet paper
Boots that are waterproof (cause Portland)

I really like tea and enjoy access to the internet. Clean water and clean hot water and being stably inside when it's cold out are pretty meaningful.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I spend a lot of time considering integrity.
How to be A Good Person occupies an unfortunate amount of my head space.
Also insert other circular obsessive thoughts that may or may not be counter productive or self-manifesting here.

Feelings and stuff. Politicized bodies and sex. Heteronomativity, white supremacy and how I perpetuate those.

My body. Kink. My relationships.

Fear, compassion, survival, generosity, my friends, my dates. technology and bodies, money, awesome gear, my house, honesty. How to be more compassionate with myself, how to be more compassionate with others. Holding boundaries.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Fisting to post-metal or working. I honestly don't know. Reading?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Otherwise known as 'the fun facts section'

I like the idea of bromance and am concerned with the concept of frienemies - take what you will from that.
I started drinking coconut water because everyone else was doing it.
I like Christmas music.

I sometimes imagine macing random jerks I overhear in public.
Say some annoying shit:
Its just a fantasy.

I'm currently using hormones to attempt to change parts of my body.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You wanna say hi. Esp if we know one another IRL or you might have seen me around. It does not have to be romantic. I like where real life and the internet world intersect.

If you want to know my fetlife name or tell me yours (note: if you ask mine I will expect you to share yours). I have SO many issues with that site and yet I still have a profile there. If you are curious about my issues with FL feel free to message me as well.

If you (maybe) want to have group sex with me and a person I date. NSA or something. At least in the beginning that is what feels best to me. I can't speak for my partner but I'm game to feel out interactions with whomever I am sleeping with respective of them - though they are a huge part of my life and I am not suuuuper interested in just one-on-one sex atm just in general.

You're not racist, ableist, sexist, homophobic, heteronormative- relationship seeking, femme phobic, misogynist, transphobic, classist, ageist, if the jokes you make are not at the expense of another group of people, etc... If you care about the language you use.
I really don't expect people to be perfect and I know I am not but I would like for people to be actively and openly (read: interested in) being attentive to all of this stuff

If you are a cuckquean couple looking for a cupcake/unicorn. Hit me up grl! Interested in het cis-couples sure, but like dykes and queers for real.

I am sorta looking to engage with queer tops. I mostly have been that queer top and am looking to do stuff on the flip side of that. I'll still top you though, or switch. Or whatever. Just trying to put a potential interest out there.

You are indulgent balanced by having integrity and personal boundaries.

There is lots of other shit I am interested in but mostly I want you to be kind to me and at the very least not cruel to others.