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29 F Portland, OR

I’m looking for

  • Everybody
  • Ages 27–36
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Sep 24
5′ 9″ (1.76m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Less than $20,000
Relationship Status
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Seems that even if I use the same words as someone else to self-describe it doesn't mean we are going to agree or get one another. I felt that was worth mentioning.

I sometimes describe myself as confrontational (not to be confused with aggressive) I often think that it comes off as combative in a culture not supportive of confrontation. I think that I come off as combative especially via this profile on the internet.
I often find traction with people via the things I sense we disagree about rather than the things that we already seem to agree on. I like people who I feel affinity and agreement with, but within that I am drawn to explore the things that don't seem to fit or make sense to me. Im curious, why you said that thing you said, why it seems contradictory to another thing you said. I am similarly fascinated and affronted by the things I say and do that are not in alignment with other things I say and do.

Currently looking for photographers to work on a few sexy and/or vanilla projects. Drop me a line if you are interested in hearing about them and possibly taking photographs. I am into hearing about and possibly working on projects you have in mind as well.

Not into fast connections. Don't touch me unless you ask. Seriously, don't fucking touch me. ASK IF YOU CAN TOUCH ME BEFORE YOU DO.
While familiarity is incredibly important to me and takes me a lot of time to develop with someone, warmth and connection come easy enough in any given moment.

Anarchist, feminist, complicated gender, body-positive, sex-positive, kink-friendly, DIY, poly.

I like to think I try hard at compersion. I am not into law enforcement. I don't often feel competitive. Gallows humor appreciated if you are not being an asshole while doing it.

I'm gender-queer. I always dress in drag.

Because I have certain perceptions about my own body and gender I desire for others to not have certain expectations of either of those things. This is not to shut down conversations about gendered dynamics and or invisiblizing privilege.

I am hesitant about people who have a body type preference for their lovers, even if your preference is for my body type.

I don't care about "bad" grammar, "bad" spelling, or your
academic qualifications. I mean, do what you do and if its empowering that is sincerely really great, but I have a hard time believing that those kinds of things make one better or more exciting than other folks. It bugs me if you think other people are stupid.

I am actively and currently seeing other people, this is also to say that my free time is very little.
You should expect to talk openly, if the need arises, with other people in my life.

I am in a relationship with someone who I am fluid-bonded with in a pretty complete way. Barrier sex is what I'm into.

STIs: Testing is cool, I try to do it often. Regardless of what my status might be, regardless of what your status might be I strive towards and require honesty, compassion, kindness and above all respect toward one another during these conversations. I attempt to offer these things of myself and expect them from others toward me when talking about STI status.
I am more concerned with serial monogamists who assume that they are "clean" (barf #awfullanguage) than intentional sluts with confirmed STIs.
I am actually super disappointed when I see people discussing this briefly and callously in their profiles. "I'm DD free and would like to stay that way kthnx" Is fucking rude. What an awful way to talk about STI statuses which is something actually emotionally and physically impacts so many lives. Don't be that person.

I appreciate a complex analysis of oppression - not
just class struggle and war on the state. I fully support both of these things but desire a dedicated interest in intersections of oppression and struggle. Kyriarchy.

I think the world can hold a number of contradictory truths simultaneously. At the same time I wish I employed patience more often and eye-rolling less.
Not particularly militant, in some ways, though I would not say I have a high level of tolerance for folks supporting certain aspects of dominant culture or other extreme or moderate politics that stand in contrast to mine.

I think its strange when people don't like children. How are you not going to like an entire class of people indiscriminately? Questionable...

Not really into drinking all that much and I am not often intoxicated or tipsy.

I really like to make things, mostly in a haphazard kind of a way. Art, crafts, clothes, food. Lately I have been making vinegar, hard cider, kombucha.

I think I am really nice, I believe others think this as well.

my fetlife name is 00000000000 (eleven zeros) Feel free to send me yours.

Concerning kink related labels, Currently and historically I loosely identify as a versatile fluid switch.

I am interested in asexual romantic relationships too so really most of this sex stuff doesn't actually matter unless it is important to you that we might have sex.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Striving towards honesty - honesty with myself, honesty with others.

I don't have ambition in the school, career, "stability" sort of a way. I pretty much just want to be what I and some others consider to be a good person and do things that fulfill me and contribute to the people around me when I find people who want that contribution.

Cloning succulents. Going to hot springs and or the river (aka sunbathing)
Lately I have been watching Daria, crafting until 3am, and trying to drink more water.

Fixing up my house and power tooling with degrees of competency depending on the tool and job at hand. I do it regardless and will probably/hopefully not circular saw my fingers off some day.

Currently having a life freak out. Between that and all the other things I do or am trying to stop doing I don't really have a lot of space. I'm having a hard time being present right now. I don't really like it, but it's where I am at.

I have a really awesome job with great people.

I spend a lot of time trying to contribute to a culture that listens to 'no'. I like to lend what I can to enable and empower myself and others to be able to say no without negative consequences.

I am interested in making latex clothing. Mostly to fuck in and wear to annoying and not so annoying events. Also to dinner with my family. You have to mix it up somehow.

Organizing some, but stepping back.
I have a lot of thoughts about transformative justice, some thoughts about grand juries.

Sometimes I record my voice singing or saying things.

Trying to be alert to my emotions and deal with them in a transparent and appropriate way (though I acknowledge appropriate is a relative label) Interested that in others too. Attempting to be personally accountable for my actions etc...

I hang out with people a lot and have many close long-term relationships that I cherish and contribute time towards.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I try hard at the following things and think I am moderately good at them most times. At the very least they are things I take more than occasional pride in or have often heard from others that they appreciate.

Cleaning up, not stressing out at others, confrontation, having non-goal oriented sex, dancing, super mario brothers world for snes, wearing lots of layers, listening to the same song on repeat for hours, giving props, cuddling hot water bottles, casually wearing fancy dresses, talking about STIs, applying liquid eyeliner.
Probably other stuff.

I am not good at: emailing back the next day - it usually takes me several days, watching a movie, sleeping - I have some body pain that makes that difficult some nights
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
"You have something right there, hanging from your nose. No, right there. Yeah, that. Oh. Is that a nose ring? Did that hurt?"

My profile was edited by auto-correct and or is missing or repeating random words and my tenses are all mangled.

"You're so posi!"
"It's unattractive when women spit"
"Those are really huge earrings, what are those 162mm?"
"That outfit makes you look like you're from the future"
"Why do you wear so much black?"
"Hey I love your dress!!"
"Was that you singing?"
"I love your hair, is it naturally like that?"
"Subtle but you are totally passable!!"
"Hey baby, I like your...oh that's a fanny pack"
"Did you play basketball in highschool?"
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I laugh out loud at Get Fuzzy comics.
I can get stuck on /r/funny for hours, its hit or miss though


Sci-fi, fantasy, non-fiction, some political theory, young adult dystopias, kinky-erotica.

Book candy: Ursula Le Guin, Ender's Game, Harry Potter, Dune, Octavia Butler, Anne Rice, Gail Carriger, Sherri Tepper, Clan of the Cave Bear etc, Stone Butch Blues, Douglas Adams, Lonely Werewolf Girl (and sequels), Kushiel's Dart etc.
Recently have been reading A Song of Ice and Fire and just discovered how hilarious the Discworld novels are!

Inexplicable movie favorites:
Darjeeling Limited: thanks Wes Anderson for sucking me into another sometimes charming, quirky, and visually stunning though not particularly deep film about rich people, odd colonialism, and death. So over it. But actually obviously not.
Rivers and Tides, Labyrinth, Best in Show, Harry Potter, Lost in Translation, Garden State, Fantasia, Kill Bill, Inception, Resident Evil movies, Lord of the Rings, Bring It On.

The L word, Daria, The Office (US), Ace of Cakes, Dark Angel, Firefly.

I really like pop. Notably by "pop" music I mean music that is described as pop (see: Beyonce, Ke$ha, etc) but also catchy songs regardless of genre.
I like some modern and old timey folk, some metal, pop dance remixes, classical, fiddle.
cajun fiddle, banjo, gregorian chants, shape note singing, cello are among my list of long standing loves. I like to chill out and or fuck to post-metal and ambient electronica.

mushrooms, garlic, tangerines, spiced cider, sausage, kale, fresh basil, ice cream, mulled wine, ginger beer, curry paste, coconut milk, miso broth, almond milk, cashews, cupcakes, kombucha, fuji apples, dates, pho, cinnamon, beets, candied ginger, pork, anything with 'blueberry' as an idea, floral flavors and aromas, sticky rice, stouts/porters. coffee.
sweet & savory combos
I'm on again off again with sugar, but when it's on, it's really on. Bring the cake, 3 times a day!
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Some things I really would not want to do without:

My glasses
Chosen peers
Counter culture
Dance music
Weird sex
Dental floss
Sci-fi and fantasy escapism
A ridiculous dress
STI tests
My period-cup-thing
A bed I can sleep on

I really like coffee
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I spend a lot of time considering integrity.

Feelings and stuff. Politicized bodies and sex, heteronomativity, white supremacy and how I perpetuate those.

Fear, compassion, survival, generosity, my friends, my dates. technology and bodies, money, awesome gear, my house, honesty. How to be more compassionate with myself, how to be more compassionate with others. Holding boundaries.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Fisting to post-metal or working.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Otherwise known as 'the fun facts section'

I like the idea of bromance and am concerned with the concept of frienemies - take what you will from that.
I started drinking coconut water because everyone else was doing it.
I like Christmas music.

I sometimes imagine macing random jerks I overhear in public.
Say some annoying shit:
Its just a fantasy.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you know me already, or we have seen one another around at an event or something and you want to say hi. I love seeing people I know, am acquainted with, or straight up just recognize on this site.

You want to send me a link to your fetlife prof or wanna see mine. Super into that in friends or people who want to date. Curious!

You are not into the cops, in general.

You're not racist, ableist, sexist, homophobic, heteronormative- relationship seeking, femme phobic, misogynist, transphobic, classist, ageist, if the jokes you make are not at the expense of another group of people, etc... If you care about the language you use.
I really don't expect people to be perfect and I know I am not but I would like for people to be actively and openly (read: interested in) working on all of this stuff.

Write something more than "hi, how are you?" seriously. I block senders of those messages.

You are really really okay with the fact that I might not message back and that this is, most of the time, not personal. I experience a time deficit and have to prioritize accordingly.

You are out about being queer and poly.
You don't require a binary-gender in a person you are dating. Also if you think, from what very little I put out there on the topic, that we might practice compatible styles of polyamory. Also if you are body affirming.

I'm interested in a number of different things that actually don't really matter (a fact I reiterate at the bottom of the page):

You want to play (er, read: teach me how to play) Magic the Gathering.
You are explicitly interested in Dom/sub dynamics in any direction.
You are a feminist switch, which is where most of my experience lies.
You are curious about exploring an asexual romantic relationship together.
You want to try to understand Foucault together.
You are into being fisted.
You want to make large paper mache models of the planets in our solar system with me. Yes, Pluto included.
You want to go winter camping.
You like to play cards
You are kind

I only sincerely care about the last line on that multi-item list and even that can be open to creative interpretation, all of the other things are optional.