Incredibly long profile.
Generally speaking, I assume I'll like your partners and try real hard. Im not into law enforcement. I think im not competitive. Gallows humor appreciated if youre not being an asshole while doing it.
Im gender-queer. I always dress in drag.
I prefer to date queers of all genders as it feels important for me to be comfortable. Though I am not outright excluding folks if they are not queer.
I think what I am really trying to get at by saying this is because I have certain perceptions about my own identity and body I desire for others to not have certain expectations of either of those things.
I am hesitant about people who have a body type preference for their lovers, even if your preference is for my body type. I like to be thought of as attractive by people I romantically esteem certainly, but I dont like that to be a part of some sort of body script I am supposed to fit into. I don't think all preferences fall under this category necessarily - we like what we like and there is, fortunately or unfortunately, not always a lot of controlling that. This is just something to keep in mind when considering pursuing interactions with me.
I guess that the clear exception is if you like something really weird, I feel likely to be into that.
I don't care about "bad" grammar, "bad" spelling, or
academic qualifications. I mean, do what you do and if its empowering that is sincerely really great, but I have a hard time believing that those kinds of things make one better or more exciting than other folks. It bugs me if you think other people are stupid.
I historically I have listed atheism as an identifier but thats not exactly currently true. It is true to say that as a child and adolescent I lived in a very spiritual home where I didnt really feel affinity with most aspects of the spiritualities I was exposed to aside from the community mindedness that came along with much of what I experienced. I came up as a late adolescent and early adult in punk-anarcho-atheist scenes. As of late I have been questioning atheism and its role in colonialism, white supremacy, and "progress" I think that spirituality is a nice idea that I dont really know how to enact in my life. Religion and atheism might be more strongly similar than spirituality is to either of those things. Maybe I am culturally atheist though that is kind of sad to say. I am not agnostic.
Working all of this out.
I am actively and currently seeing other people, this is also to say that my free time is very little.
You should expect to talk openly, if the need arises, with other people in my life.
I prefer, at the very very least, for us all (my partners, their partners, me etc) to be friends when we are in the same space. This is a minimum requirement for me. That being said I am not trying to micromanage the relationships my dates have with one another, if you dont like each other, fine, we'll try to figure out a way for things to be functional, or we dont have to date. Seriously though, ive been in enough poly situations to feel like having positive interactions in poly is ultimately going to be more important to me than dating any one person necessarily. I am not, however, dating people to be a part of some relationship with my other dates. Whatever our relationship is, its ours though how you engage with my other dates, and problem solve in general, will probably impact our relationship.
I am in a relationship with someone who I am fluid-bonded with in a pretty complete way. Safe sex is a must for me, talking about statuses and testing is very important as well. Regardless of what my status might be, regardless of what your status might be I strive towards and require honesty, compassion, kindness and above all respect toward one another during these conversations. I attempt to offer these things of myself and expect them from others towards me when talking about STI status.
I am more concerned with serial monogamists who assume that they are "clean" (barf #awfullanguage) than intentional sluts with confirmed STIs.
It really annoys me when people use the word "clean" to describe whether they have STIs or not. I think it contributes to stigma and isolation of folks who are by comparison "dirty"(?) So many other thoughts and feels about this. If you wanna talk about it, lets. Except I might not write you back, because I am busy and its my pleasure and not my job to educate people about being inappropriate. Which means I am not obligated to do it so dont when I dont want to.
I try to work to figure out different language and new ways of framing concepts around this instead of using normative slut-shaming language.
Im an anarchist and a feminist
Body and sex positive. DIY, Poly
I appreciate a complex analysis of oppression - not
just class struggle and war on the state. I fully support both of these things but desire a dedicated interest in intersections of oppression and struggle. Kyriarchy.
I have a lot of things to say about myself and a lot of buzz words that are a part of that.
I used to be a little worried about this but I find myself caring less and less as I seek to hold those identities in ways that are really personal. I use them to see myself in contrast to the environments around me, to identify myself with people who I have chosen as my peers/friends/community/scene/whatever while also making those labels flexible. This means Im more looking to figure out what words mean to me, regarding myself, and trying to care less what they mean to others, though what others think does matter to me, Im currently working out how to hold these things I a way that is functional.
It follows that any of the words I use here might give you closer to the wrong idea than what I consider to be the right idea of who I think I am. Seems that even if I use the same words as someone else to self-describe it doesn't mean we are going to agree or get one another.
I think the world can hold a number of contradictory truths at the same time. Lets talk about it? Whatever "it" is.
Not particularly militant, in some ways, though I would not say I have a high level of tolerance for folks supporting certain aspects of dominant culture or other extreme or moderate politics that stand in contrast to mine.
I think its strange when people don't like children. How are you not going to like an entire class of people indiscriminately? Questionable...
Also if you dislike small dogs, personally but especially politically. Your shitty politics make no sense. BUT FOR REAL.
In a broader sense the above two paragraphs are pulling together the fact that I don't have a lot of respect for making living beings into objects that you blame for their own oppression. Small dogs might seem like an awful symbol of our broken world where we breed animals as accessories or whatever else the legitimate or not legitimate argument might be - to condemn the dog for this seems politically and emotionally confusing to me, sharing kinship with victim blaming. Same for disliking children as a response to overpopulation. The fuck is wrong with you?
Also I love small dogs, so *gush*
I think a lot about the way I live and interact with others.
Being intentional is important, or at least I think it is.
I like to talk about sex - like our sex that we have together.
I think it is important. If we cant talk about sex, maybe we shouldnt be having it.
My stories are often tangential and anti-climactic. I l dont
see this as a problem. I recently read this: TMI = life at its
fullest. I agree.
I like to dance and sing. I really love to sing.
Not really into drinking all that much and I am not often intoxicated or tipsy. I prefer that we be able to share those moments in that we can choose to have them together. If being intoxicated is more of a compulsion than a choice I dont think that it would work well for us to hang out long term. Which is fine too.
I really like to make things: art, crafts, clothes (poorly), food. Lately I have been making vinegar, hard cider, kombucha (always)
I think I am really nice, I believe others think this as well.
my fetlife name is 00000000000 (eleven zeros) Feel free to send me yours.
If you like to have sex, possibly with me, the following is possibly good to read. I am interested in asexual romantic relationships too so really the following doesnt actually matter unless it is important to you that we might have sex.
Concerning kink related labels, Currently and historically I loosely I identify as a versatile fluid switch. Lets hang out and see what we want to do together, preferably without the limits of descriptors confining us, though I am not trying to avoid naming the relationships I am in. To be clear, I am totally open to people who have more strict definitions of roles they hold in sexual or emotionally intimate relationships, I just dont want to be held to always meeting those. I wont always do what people want me to do, though I will always always always strive to never do something someone doesnt want me to do especially concerning sex and/or emotionally intimate landscapes.
Play dates, maybe. Im mostly into sexually playing with people I love, am in love with, or at least like a lot. I like exploring technique with friends of many intimacy levels. I really am seeking to have connections that transcend what I think I want, what I think I know about myself, to reach a place where what I want is changed by what we want to do together, but profoundly. I actually think that is what being with other people is about, looking past yourself in some sense, enough to create the things that you can make together. I am trying to work towards active collaboration and consent without assumptions. Im trying to articulate something that feels intangible and indescribable to me. Chemistry? Though I dont think science or chance are the only things guiding whether I am presented with those possibilities. I hold that I as an individual can make room for the interactions I want to have in my life. I would like to meet people who might think this too, maybe in a similar way that I do. Im interested in interactions that maximize respective agency.
I am interested in sincere tensioned seduction, care, reserved interactions placed next to freely emotional ones, all of this balanced by true, deep interest in one another, or at least by the possibility of such a thing. A slow burn is something I like, not placing (uneducated or hasty) expectations on one another (aside from consent) and moving through a relationship at a reasonable pace, less words/narratives more actions (this is aside from talking about sex, which ties into consent for me. If we want, let us talk about the sex we wanna have, negotiate it, do it, talk about it, negotiate again, brainstorm, figure it out, verbally, physically)
Though I am also very interested in romance and commitment with various people to varying degrees. Sex is not the most important thing to me and actually is not required for me to experience a deep romantic love. I do like physical intimacy, again, it doesnt have to be sexual. I do like it (eventually) to be intense, sincere, and reciprocal.
I want to fuck in ways that arent commonly considered fucking. Lets touch one another's elbows for hours and get sweaty about it. Not about elbow fetishes (which are fine too, and Im open to) but as a deep exploration of sexuality and one another's bodies. I do understand that dynamics and trust take a while to build and I am open to less experimental sex while getting to know someone though I am generally interested in sleeping with people who are adventurous in bed. Lets get weird and intimate together.
Maybe while listening to post-metal or ambient electronica. Im open to other genres as well.
Im looking to affirm any past positive interactions we have, while making space for the future to be different. Pretty much looking to make friends who then I might want to fuck in a beautiful way, a way that I/we/you feel beautiful in and about. I want to be quiet together. To be still, and also kinetic. Obviously all of this is a dynamic that is built, not something that just happens, Im not trying to mail order this situation, which I guess is sort of what Im getting at in general? In saying all of this I recognize that I am defining things while Im asking for a lack of definition, at least in the beginning times. I feel like I have to write something though :/