(Thanks to my various other profiles around the Web, I have been able to recover most of my old profile...)

I took this quiz that told me I am a Modern, Cool Nerd [95 % Nerd, 65% Geek, 43% Dork] and that is probably the most accurate description I have ever heard of myself.

[For The Record: A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia. A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one. A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.]

I am genuine, candidly frank, and brutally honest. What you see is what you get. I have nothing to hide. I don't play games, I don't sugarcoat, and I don't pull any punches. Don't ask if you don't want to know how I really feel. To quote one of my favorite poets, Taylor Mali, "I have a policy about honesty and ass-kicking: if you ask for it, I have to give it to you."

Sexually, I don't discriminate based on gender, but am forced to list myself as bisexual even though I despise that label. I am equally attracted to both men and women. I have also had relationships with both and have found that I prefer relationships with men. Why? Because women are crazy. This does not mean that I am looking to be the 3rd leg of a heretofore couple. I don't care how attractive either of you are or how bi-curious she is, etc.

You may not be able to tell from my pics, but I'm a fat chick. Just to let you know. I get a lot of guff for saying that but I'm not down on myself, just realistic. Yes, I describe myself as voluptuous, but not to protect my ego. It's just an accurate description because to me it conveys a woman who is sexy and sensual and comfortable with her own curves. I may not necessarily like being a fat chick, but I'm mostly okay with it, because I am mostly height-weight proportionate. Nobody ever believes how much I weigh. I know I won't always be this way. I've just joined a gym so one day in the not-too-distant future, I'll be one of those trim uber-health nuts. Just not today.

I am a master procrastinator. There is almost always something more interesting to do than whatever it is I am supposed to be doing. Prime examples: cleaning my house and doing laundry.

I am almost always late. More than fashionably so. I've been told that I will be late to my own funeral. It used to be because I felt that I was worth waiting for. Not that I am now no longer worth waiting for, because I am. I just have a really horrible concept of time and I get easily distracted. It's really not that it's unimportant to me to show up on time. I do have every intention of being there when I say I will be and I do try, but something inevitably happens to make me late.

I'm crazy. Seriously. I mean, I don't collect a crazy check each month, and I don't read Guns and Ammo [while sitting] around masturbating in my own feces but sometimes I do think, "Wow! It is amazing how fucking crazy I really am!" Don't say I never told you.

I love to shower. It's one of my top 5 favorite things to do. The others would be [in no particular order]: eating; sleeping; hanging out with my Ron guy while watching Battlestar Galactica; and fully jamming out to some live MOFRO [BKA the best band to ever exist].

I love to go camping. I have a 17'x17' 4-room tent with a screened porch and remote control dome light. We call it the "Maharaja" tent because it's so big. However, I despise having dirty feet so regardless of how much barefoot walking I do, I scrub my feet clean several times a day and absolutely must before I go to sleep at night.

I sing along with the radio, very loudly and very badly. This is not limited to while driving, but instead includes concerts, movies, while in restaurants, at the bowling alley, in the bar during poker... I have a theory that people who sing along with the radio are happier, better-adjusted, more self-secure individuals.

I play as much Texas Hold Em as possible. Both online and in bars/restaurants/friends' houses/wherever I can.

I love to read. I am always open to suggestions for my next read. I am currently reading Eldest, the sequel to Eragon, and Son of a Witch, the sequel to Wicked. I finally read The DaVinci Code and found it quite interesting, and much better than the movie. I'm about to read Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. I have read all of Stephen King's [except On Writing and the baseball one... I recently finished the brand new one, Lisey's Story, and I really liked it a lot.], Anne Rice's, and J.K. Rowling's (Deathly Hallows has come and gone. *sigh*) books. If a movie was based on a book, I almost always try to read the book first, and usually the book is better. I'm trying to catch up on classics; I read Uncle Tom's Cabin for the first time last year as a requirement for an American History course. I also like Pulitzer Prize winners and other note-worthy books, like Middlesex, A Confederacy of Dunces, The Shipping News, A Widow for One Year, Norwegian Wood, Le Petit Prince, and Skinny Legs and All. I am always re-reading The Tao of Pooh and The Te of Piglet by Benjamin Hoff and Awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robbins.

Movies are my biggest source of geekery. I love all kinds: action, comedies, dramas, horror, indie, foreign, musicals. I love all aspects of cinema: acting, screenwriting, direction, cinematography, editing, etc. I do try to see the Oscar nominees each year. I have "starred" over 1000 movies on Netflix and I have 500 more waiting in my queue. My FAVORITE favorite movie is [and has been for a while] Napoleon Dynamite. Most recent loves: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Transformers, The Departed, Casino Royale, Crash [new one, although the David Cronenberg is interesting], Kinsey, Happy Endings, Closer, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Garden State, I Heart Huckabees, Down With Love. Perennial faves: Kill Bill, Matrix Trilogy [yes, I actually liked all three], Boondock Saints, Tank Girl, RHPS, Pulp Fiction, all Harry Potter movies, Breakfast at Tiffany's, Face/Off, A Clockwork Orange, Heathers, The Last Unicorn, The Princess Bride, The Big Lebowski, The Usual Suspects, Requiem for a Dream, Trainspotting, Billy Elliot, Like Water for Chocolate, Amelie, Map of the Human Heart, The Adventures of Priscilla: Queen of the Desert, Quills, Gridlock'd, The Big Hit, Clueless, Moulin Rouge, Chicago, Grease, Under the Cherry Moon, William Shakespeare's Romeo + Juliet, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Goonies, The Incredibly True Adventures of Two Girls in Love, Better Than Chocolate, My Fair Lady, Gone with the Wind, Gigi, Mary Poppins.

I'm fairly into music, too, and have very eclectic tastes, although MOFRO is the best damn band in the whole world. I dig on Marilyn Manson, jazz, funk, soul, blues, classical, rock, 80s, oldies, pre-1990 country [the stuff my parents listened to when I was growing up], goth, techno, trance, and festival music, i.e. stuff you'd hear at Magnolia Fest, High Sierra, Langerado, and Bonnaroo, just to name a few. Thanks to a new local radio station, Movin' 100.7FM, I have been re-acquainting myself with pop music, and how have [for better or for worse] a HUGE love for Justin Timberlake, but especially Sexy Back.

My favorite food in the whole world is sushi, especially anything with eel or salmon in it (as long as it's not fried, tempura, crunchy or has pickled radish in it). It's a good thing, because about a month ago, I decided to stop eating meat other than fish and seafood. Why? Factory farming and the meat industry are disgusting. And did you know the resources (land, water, food) used to feed ONE meat-eater can feed about 300 veggie-eaters??? Also, it's just healthier. So really, I couldn't find any reason NOT to give up meat. But I won't be mad at you if you don't.

I'll have to get back to you on this because I'm always learning that there are, in fact, things I can't live without. However, I would never WANT to be without my friends, my Ron, my baby sister, Dr. Bronner's Peppermint Soap, my cats, and the thirst for knowledge and improvement.

How I can be a better person and make my world a better place.

I don't know that I have typical Friday nights. But I'm probably either spending time with my friends, or curled up on the couch watching Netflix with my baby.

Only if you DON'T have a Y chromosome. There's only room for one of those in my life, and the position is currently filled.