43 Toronto, Ontario, CA
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My self-summary
Note: I'm torn between taking the clever/witty/slightly snarky approach to this, or the less fun but more useful Earnest! angle. Any obvious discrepancies in tone likely stem from this troubling inner conflict...


Additional Note: if you don't feel like reading a lot of blah blah text, scroll down to the "On a Friday Night" section and read from there to the end. Those few short paragraphs should give you a pretty comprehensive sense of my personality.

Oh, and read the paragraph directly below first, under the "About me:" heading.


About me:

I have a moderately awesome life – reasonable material comfort, a job I really like that is walking distance from my home, and a group of good friends. I'm also in a committed long-term relationship that has been open for a little over two years. That seems like a good place to start. I wouldn't say this is the most important thing to know about me, but it seems significant in this context.

I'm looking for friendship with the potential for some non-platonic fun (key word "potential"). I'm not interested in shallow or perfunctory, and connection is key, but I don't think I'd be a good match for someone focused on finding a potentially serious relationship.

I'm more interested in the person than the situation, but practically speaking dating someone who is also attached, or relaxed about monogamy if single, is probably easier to manage and more likely to occur. There's never a guarantee, of course, of having other things in common, but a shared viewpoint on "alternative lifestyle choices" could be useful.

So, boring faceplate info covered, I can tell you more about what makes me me.

I consider myself a feminist and it's a fairly foundational part of my identity (you don't have to identify that way, though feminists are sexy!). In terms of general stereotypes, I'm a downtown, lefty, mostly vegetarian urbanite; I like books, travel, wine, dancing, electronic music, and spending time with a circle of close friends. I'm a bit introspective and have some geekish interests, but that's fairly well-balanced with an active, adventurous side.
What I’m doing with my life
Taking it day-to-day without being too concerned about the small details. Things are good right now so I don't feel an urge to plan out exactly where they're headed. I'm pretty happy overall.
I’m really good at
Making martinis (not "real" ones, more fruity martinis. I'm not much into traditional drinks, i.e. anything that tastes like alcohol)

Managing simultaneous thought and/or sensory processes

Juggling: In truth, I'm not really good at it, but I can handle the 3-ball routine. No knives or chainsaws, though

Mapping out the dynamics of closed social systems


Listening (really a subcategory of observation)

Maintaining my balance, literally and figuratively
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm good at avoiding notice. Probably a skill developed in my alienated teenage years or the period (shortly after) when I was considering a career as a high-priced international assassin.

But when people do notice me, the features that are generally mentioned are my eyes (which has always sounded a bit cliche and insincere) or my tattoo (when it's visible). Gay boys have tended to comment on my hair or my butt, but I honestly haven't been hit on by a guy in a while so take that comment with a large grain of salt.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I don't know how useful (or interesting to a relative stranger) a block-of-text list of favourites could be without some context. So I'll keep the specific examples to a minimum and talk more generally about what I like.

I am a semi-voracious reader, but a significantly less enthusiastic consumer of TV and movies. That said, I usually check out a few TIFF movies each year (though not this past year).

Book-wise, I tend towards conceptual rather than visceral, writing, both in fiction and non-fiction. I like fantastical concepts, and so a lot of my favourite authors are genre writers. These include Neil Gaiman, William Gibson, Jasper Fforde, CJ Cherryh and Terry Pratchett.

Some more literarily respectable books I have liked are Regeneration by Pat Barker, Headhunter by Timothy Findley, and 100 Years of Solitude by Marquez. I don't honestly read a lot of 'realistic' contemporary fiction; I am/was a big fan of Jeanette Winterson, but I haven't ready anything of hers in a long time so that may no longer be accurate (2015 Edit: I recently picked up one of her more recent books, I'm looking forward to getting reacquainted). I quite liked much of Fall on Your Knees by Ann-Marie MacDonald but I ultimately found it too bleak to finish. I know, I know, feel free to hurl tomatoes in my general direction.

I like non-fiction a lot too, on a variety of topics.

My music tastes are a mix of old-fashioned and modern, delineated more by category than individual artists. For many years my primary musical interest has been techno. I haven't kept up with popular music trends outside of the techno world in the last several years, but I quite like Florence and the Machine and Bat for Lashes. They're semi-contemporary, right?
The six things I could never do without
Animals - my own, of course, but also all the other animals out there. I like knowing we share the world with other forms of life.



Some kind of tool for creative/intellectual output (pen and paper, computer, cuneiform tablet, whatever...)

A sense of possibility

Genuine human connection

Occasional alone time
I spend a lot of time thinking about
While I wouldn't call it a lot of time, at least several times a week I think about some of the following:

- ways to improve democratic governance and decision-making, so as to achieve better outcomes and more equality, while maintaining a reasonable amount of freedom and individual incentive (despite thinking about it, I'm not coming up with any great new ideas...)

- why one of my cats occasionally jumps into the air in front of the front door and bats at the doorknob; does he think he can open it?

- why so many people seem to be so emotionally invested in superficial elements of existence (not excluding myself from that statement)

- what my next volunteer commitment should be and am I being too picky for something that should be about helping a worthwhile cause
On a typical Friday night I am
Friday night activities vary for me. Sometimes I'm lazy and tired and relax at home, sometimes I go out with friends for drinks or dinner, and on occasion I go out dancing - but only if there's an interesting DJ playing, my friends persuade me, or the event seems fun and different.

I'd probably be up for doing almost anything, generally speaking, if it promised to be interesting. I'm willing to be spontaneous (alternate explanation, I'm lazy and a poor planner).
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I talk to my cats, consistently and on a daily basis. Last year I discovered (by trying it to see how it would taste) that red wine with a splash of crème de cacao is awesome.

I assume anybody who actively dislikes animals must be emotionally disturbed in some way; if they ever try to explain the rationale for why they don't like them, I then assume they are aware of and are trying to cover up their underlying psychopathology.
You should message me if
Answering this would suggest I have some idea of what people are looking for...

...notwithstanding that comment, if you're on the fence about messaging but you have a dog, you should *definitely* message me.