Please read my whole profile, particularly the "message me if..." section at the bottom, before contacting me. I'm very interested in meeting certain kinds of people, and not at all in getting hit on by low matches casting a wide net. BTW, if you also have kids, that makes me more, not less, interested in meeting you--we'll have more in common, and maybe they could be friends! Now, on to the self-summary!

Mm, matching algorithms. Mm, smart sexy people.

I love learning and teaching. Some of my favorite experiences are when I can do both at once in an hours-long conversation with a loved one, making all kinds of connections. One of my favorite things to hear is, "Oh, I get it!" I'm grinning just thinking about it.

I keep forgetting I'm apparently not from this planet, as all the pop culture and street conversations seem to be about the logic of some other social world than I live in. If you're from Polygeeklandia too, that would be helpful. I'm neurotypical, just not mainstream. I vastly prefer compersion to jealousy, and vulnerable, open communication to soap opera plots.

I have a poly family of six plus our extended polycule, so my life is a bit complicated, and sometimes I don't get around to checking back with OKCupid for a long time.

I am kaizen, sapiosexual, and verbally precise.

My life purpose is to help people be smarter and happier. This emphatically includes myself. I'm currently raising two small children and a teenager or two, and plan to return to teaching shortly.

I live with my husband, our three children, my husband's fiancee, and several housemates in an enormous and well-cared-for Victorian house we just bought. It's a vast and relaxing change from the somewhat less enormous and not-well-cared-for Victorian house we lived in a few months ago.

I'm a devotee of kaizen, Health Month, and SuperBetter. Over the past year I have transformed several of my behaviors and attitudes through long conversations, written exercises, irritating yet helpful insights, and small, consistent habit shifts. I have actively improved my communication to be clearer, gentler, and more positive. While I'm told I'm now better than average in these areas, I have realized that still leaves a lot of room for improvement, and I'd rather be asking for what I want and telling my family I love them, not snapping at them or being quietly resentful, even occasionally. I'm also working on building habits of healthier diet (less sugar & starch, more vegetables) and more exercise (walking, yoga, and the Hacker's Diet fitness plan). I am a work in progress and will remain so for life, because there will always be new ways to be better.

reading, writing, teaching, learning, applying what I learn, parenting, drawing (when I actually do it), word games, making analogies, experiencing, loving, being loved, stealth compliments, dreamwork, communicating, self-transformation, polyamory, kaizen, collaboration

I probably just said something outrageous. And I used big words to do it.

Books: Metamagical Themas and anything else by Douglas Hofstadter; Consciousness Explained and anything else by Daniel Dennett; Little, Big and anything else by John Crowley; Learned Optimism; John Gottman's books on healthy relationships; The Chronicles of Master Li and Number Ten Ox; anything by Lois McMaster Bujold or Ursula Vernon, most things by Terry Pratchett or Neil Gaiman

Movies: Bull Durham, Tampopo, Howl's Moving Castle, Secretary, Fargo, Much Ado About Nothing

Shows: Buffy, Heroes, TrueBlood, Red Dwarf, Lie to Me, Bones, Sherlock

Music: mainly alternative and Celtic rock, filk, and folk; Barenaked Ladies, They Might Be Giants, Phish, Enya, Suzanne Vega, Tempest, Richard Thompson, Stump, Jonathan Coulton, Tim Minchin, Vixy and Tony, Regina Spektor, P!nk

Food: artichokes with hollandaise, ginger covered in dark chocolate, lamb curries, sushi (specifically Mashiko), green tea ice cream, Cambozola, blackcurrant anything, mead, things I haven't tried before. I don't eat octopus, conventional beef or pork, or endangered species including bluefin tuna and unagi.

my family, kaizen, books, the Internet, new ideas, being useful

parenting, etymologies, learning modalities, dreams, non-violent communication, evolution, sociopathy, empathy, memetics, brains, NLP, wordplay, love, sex, kaizen, family systems theory, and in general how to have a happy, productive life.

Having dinner with my family, putting the kids to bed, and busing over to visit one of my best friends. Which might involve reading aloud, cleaning his kitchen, describing a recent date in explicit detail, or talking about hard-won recent insights and maybe crying. Sometimes all of the above.

Gee, that's funny--all my matches keep coming up poly kinky geeks!

I've been told I'm kinkier than I look. And it's not just the piercings that don't show in my pictures.

Seriously, though...I'm not comfortable driving. On the other hand, last summer I drove a van full of people at 80mph through Montana, so, well, you can tell I'm working on that.

and only if at least one of the below sets of conditions apply (combinations entirely welcome):
1. (old friends category) You already know me.
2. (potential dating category) You're a 94+% match, a friend match in at least the high 70s and enemy match below 10%, you have taken the OKCupid Dating Persona Test, you live in the Seattle area, you think I sound like I'd be fun and interesting to know, and you think I'm hot. I'm currently seeing five or so people, all of whom match me in the high 90s and are totally fantastic, so I'm quite busy and really not interested in anyone less compatible. If you are not willing to take the dating persona test, if you message me with random sex talk, or if you otherwise demonstrate that you are bad with consent boundaries, you will not get positive results. On the other hand, I might still have a little room in my schedule if I'm careful, so, if you're brilliant, compassionate, funny, polyamorous, and pervy, you have a fairly good chance.
3. (fellow parent category) You live in Seattle, you are not dangerously insane, you think I sound nice, you are not alarmed by my family arrangement, and you have a 2-to-8-year-old child. Yes, I am looking for playdates. No, that is not a euphemism.