I'm average, but I'm not what you expect at first. I can surprise you. I'm a strange kid, with a strange sense of humor. I'm still a kid at heart, and I see things like a kid will, sometimes. Other times I'm a grouchy old man, and get the hell off my lawn, you damn kids! Usually I'm very laid back. I have twenty eight sweet tooths, and at least three sweet wisdom teeth. I think I still have my sweet baby teeth somewhere...

Neat freak with a messy streak. Pack rat yearning to free himself from all his crap. Anachronist with a love for technology. Writer, musician, gamer, laid-back all around good guy.

I'm trying to figure that out. I lived at home a lot longer than most, and I guess I was compensating for that when I moved to NYC. I'm working slowly on a writing career, and in the meantime I work at Starbucks. It kinda pays the bills, but I'm looking for something else.

Sarcastic comments. If it had to be one thing, that's probably it. I'm good at being a nice guy. I've been told that I smell good, if that's something I can be considered as "being good at". I think I'm a good writer, and not too many people have bothered to try and knock me off that personal pedestal, so I'll stick with my own assessment on that. Gee, I'm good at rambling on, and self-deprecating humor too, apparently.

I honestly do not know. Probably that I have a beard. In terms of features, maybe my smile (assuming I'm smiling), or... I have pretty eyes? Probably that I'm quick to crack a joke, at least once they start talking to me. Really I'm pretty average, with a tendency towards social invisibility in some situations.

I just finished re-reading The Helmsman by Bill Baldwin which was something of a guilty pleasure as far as un-exceptional sci-fi goes. I love that book, and I don't know why. It has a very Horatio Hornblower feeling to it, good, basic adventure escapism.

I also like anything by Christopher Moore, and devoured his most recent, The Stupidest Angel, in less than two days. Moore, Douglas Adams, Elmore Leonard; I'll go out of my way to pick up their books when I find one that I don't have.

Okay, I'm a dumbass and totally forgot to list movies, bands, foods... We could be here a while...

Favorite movies: Trading Places, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Fight Club, The Matrix, French Kiss, The Lord of the Rings trilogy, Sin City, Sliding Doors, Hellboy, Aliens, Sneakers, Chasing Amy, Invader Zim... I told you I was eclectic.

Music: Cake, Soul Coughing, Mike Doughty, Sinatra, Tchaikovsky, Dave Matthews, Louis Armstrong, Counting Crows, Glen Miller, Morhpine, Miles Davis, Firewater, Beastie Boys.

Foods: Sushi, bacon cheeseburger, pepperoni pizza, beef and broccoli with egg drop soup, a nice rare steak. Cookies. Wasabi peas. A bag of Pep-O-Mint LifeSavers...

1) Questions like this, I totally *could* do without. 2) Should I go with the obvious: Oxygen, food, shelter...

Affection. I crave human affection and don't get it nearly often enough. I doubt anyone does. Friends. My cat. Gods help me: The Internet. Yes, I'm a total addict. What is that? Five? Can I save one for later?

Things that don't really exist. My mind wanders like Kwai Chang Caine. It walks the Earth. I could be thinking about something that just happened, or something that happened years ago, or something that never happened because I made it up. I'm a writer, we do that. Also, sex. I'm a guy, we do that.

If I'm not working that night, I might be out with friends, or I might be pathetically online... with friends. Or I might be sleeping if I have to work Saturday morning. Or... I might be sleeping because I like sleeping. I might be at home watching a movie to entertain myself, or in a cafe (yes, at Starbucks; can you say "employee discount"?) writing something. Or procrastinating.

Stop living vicariously on other peoples' revelations. Meet someone real. Talk to me in person and I'll tell you more than you want to know.

You're bored. You think I sound interesting. You want to tell me off for being a bastard. You want a friend (who can be a bastard sometimes). You find me at all attractive. If you want to...