And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming...
“I love songs about horses, railroads, land, Judgment Day, family,
hard times, whiskey, courtship, marriage, adultery, separation,
murder, war, prison, rambling, damnation, home, salvation, death,
pride, humor, piety, rebellion, patriotism, larceny, determination,
tragedy, rowdiness, heartbreak and love. And Mother. And
"I love to take care of people, so I think I'd be a good vet. I always wanted to be a vet when I was little."
-Jennifer Love Hewitt-
Me - ish:
I am a New Yawker and grew up roughly 2, 800 miles away from where I now live in Hollywood. I've made it into my fourth year with Los Angeles without one trying to kick the other's ass. It almost happened once, but, in my defense, the city made the first move.
American realist painter Edward Hopper and I were born in the same town. For years, I drew naked people in his living room. Edward Hopper's dead, so I GUESS he didn't mind...?
Since consciousness, movies were my one and only. That is, if you don't count Poki, my boyhood hamster. The average life span of a hamster is 2 years. Poki lived to be 4 1/2, which proves one thing conclusively: My love can and does extend life.
Back to movies: the first movie I ever saw was "E.T.". I was three and it ignited this life-long love affair which only grows more passionate with time.
I was The Greatest Scorekeeper West of the Hudson as a kid. That is to say, I wasn't picked last for kickball - i was never picked for kickball.
I love knock hockey. My mom "gave away" my knock hockey set years ago at a garage sale. The pangs of this loss ripple through time, like Gatsby's constant reach for the green light on Daisy's dock.
My high school experience was the best four years of my life, which boggles my mind to this day. It was in the Bronx, where the Yankees built their empire. Former 1st baseman Lou Gehrig is a hero of mine.
I went to film school and hated it, mostly because it was like being in grade school but with a more advanced vocabulary. I could have left, I suppose, but I don't back down from a fight easily.
I screenwrite. Well, I allkindsofwrite, but I actually have an advanced degree in the writin' of motion pi'chers, from a highly-regarded European University. This entitles me to say things like, "The Artist' being nominated for a Best Screenplay Oscar is a load of bollocks!" and, "Would you like fries with that?"
I am a member of the Writers Guild and have a shiny card to prove it. There was somebody with my name in the Guild already, so I had to modify it. What this person doesn't know is people think I'M HIM.
My (now dearly-departed) aunt once said of me: "You could give that kid a bucket of dirt for a gift and he'd play with it happily for hours." This suggests two things about me. First, I feel gratitude for even the smallest of things. Second, I am easily entertained.
I have dual citizenship with a country roughly 5, 174 miles from where I live in Hollywood. A good piece of my heart still remains there, buried deep beneath a western bog.
I once sold a pastel drawing of a watermelon to a member of the unsuspecting public. I was eight.
I once modeled for a health textbook. I washed dishes with my mother, gussied up in gym shorts and a He-Man t-shirt. I AM a catch, you know. Just ask the young students of the world circa 1987 why they were so interested in the Central Nervous System and the accompanying motor skills. THEY'LL tell you.
I don't dig hipsterism, but I like some of that music. Does that make me hipster-adjacent? No, where I live in Hollywood does.
I (think I) believe in God, but I (know I) believe in Leonard Cohen more.
I have had neurosurgery 8 times, but have never broken a bone or had my appendix removed or even had braces. They call that a Law of Averages.
I like women more than musical theatre, but I love musical theatre. My favorite song from the musical theatre canon is
"I Am What I Am" from "La Cage au Folles".
I climbed a mountain in Thailand and another in Ireland. On crutches.
I am the progeny of a former priest and a former nun. No, silly, I am not kidding and no, silly, there was no Scandal of the Cloth.
And THAT'S only the trailer...
Me, In Earnest (You know what I mean, Vern?):
I'm a Good Dude, a Good Listener, a Good Storyteller and a Good Guy to have in a foxhole, if ever you needed one. Oh, and I give tremendous hugs. Just ask punk-poet Patti Smith.
I'm a lover AND a fighter.
There's lots of other "me" stuff, but part of the fun is getting the Ark out of the Well of Souls and seeing what powers it holds, right? I mean, that's the point of love - risking having both our faces melt in order to find our potential soul-mate...
...Yeah, that's right. I dropped a "Raiders of the Lost Ark" reference up in here in the name of true love.
That is all.