i'm starting to realize the tag "mindmeat" might just scare people off more than anything.

"whoa, look at the brains on that girl!" -me

calm down, it's okay...

"how's the self-summary going?"
"huh?"
"where you tell them about yourself..."
"who are you and why am i typing this?"
"i think you're just being weird, nobody is learning anything about you."
"why would they even care to know me if all i did was write boring crap about myself?"
"you're never gonna get a girlfriend..."
"is that why i'm typing this?"
"no... you're weird"

now for pickup lines gone wrong...
(as far as i know i made them up myself!)

"is there a mirror in your pants?"
"excuse me?"
"i saw a girl checking her makeup in there, and i was wondering how my hair looked..."

"are you tired?"
"no.."
"well you should be, cuz i just slipped you a roofie"

"i like your dress"
"really?"
"can i eat it?"

"can i have a picture of you so i can show santa how much of a whore you are?"

"if i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd make it go q-w-e-r-t-y-u-i-o-p-a-s-d-f-g-h-j-k-l-z-x-c-v-b-n-m so keyboards would make some fucking sense for once."

"i lost my phone number, can... uhhh... sex?"

"i can't find my bed, can i sleep in yours tonight and for the next two months straight?!"
*version two of this one*
"i can't find my bed, can i sleep in yours while you sleep outside?"

"if you were a bag of chips and i was a battery, i would have to think really hard about the events that lead up to it, cuz that's not a normal situation"

"i hope you're into scat"

"ever woke up naked in the middle of the woods with no idea of how you got there?"

"how much does a bi-polar bear weigh?"
"how much?"
"enough to scream at you for no reason"

-new joke type!-

-it always starts with the intro "i tried anal sex last week" and the rest is always genius!

"i tried anal sex last week, and i don't think my dad liked it very much..."
"i tried anal sex last week, and now they won't let me back in the zoo"
"i tried anal sex last week, and it was the best time i ever had.... while babysitting."
"i tried anal sex last week, and that's how i learned kung-fu"
i could go on forever with this one.

telling bad jokes on internet dating sites to weed out girls with no sense of humor... then thoughtfully plotting my way into the minds of those who remain.
seriously... i'm stomping on the line between skateboarding and dancing, the line between music and noise, the line between imagination and education. my truest answers are questions.

nothing! i'm not the best skateboarder, i'm not the best musician, i'm not the best dancer, i'm not the best electrician, i'm not the best comedian, i'm not the best chef... but dag nabbit, i've gotta be the best combination of all of the above.

it depends on what i'm doing. if i'm feverishly masturbating at the time... odds are people are gonna notice that first. it's not like someone sees me as i copulate myself and thinks "boy, those sure are nice glasses!" but seriously... these are some nice glasses.
people usually notice that i ride a skateboard and dance with equal proficiency... at times simultaneously.

i'm the fun police.

yes, i have favorites of all of those...
right now i'm reading some isaac asimov for bus transit sanity. but i usually tend to read nonfiction (instructional and technical books).
movies... the worse, the better. army of darkness is my guilty pleasure.
shows? like t.v.? i don't have t.v. i obsess over science/nature documentaries. i also have a deep seeded love for wonder showzen... SLAVES!
music... i'm just gonna name a few off (in no order) and if you know/like of ANY of them... kudos... com truise, mr. oizo, onra, nosaj thing, mux mool, lazer sword (before they went minimalist), polish ambassador, starfucker, sebastiAn, sebastien tellier, tobacco, health, jamie lidell, dabrye, saul williams, sleigh bells and flying lotus are all pretty amazing in my book... i could name off a few thousand more, but if someone likes just half of what i named off up there... rad.
and food... i'm a mix between health nut and donut. i'm a bit of a cartivore. i think freeganism is awesome. also, i love vegan food when it can win the "pepsi challenge" alongside animal based food. good job.

food. sleep. vital organs. online dating sites (apparently). knee socks. my feet.

the cosmic scale of our insignificance. and the mathematical improbability of existence in reality. what exactly the universe is expanding within. what new dances i should create...

nothing should be typical about friday nights. but i bet pabst has something to do with it.

boys have a penis and girls have a vagina... usually. plus, i'm acutely afraid of porta-potties.

you're not like the others...