you dont know! I can bench press a car and can slap grammar in it's face! i mean, for serious! I hate doctor who with a passion, i invented the cottongin, and i am related to chef boyardee.

I'm currently whoring myself out (doing contract work) as a web programmer (both for a big corporation and freelance!). At some point in time I'm going to be officially indoctrinated it the the Microsoft cult when I get my database developer certification.

In my free time I pretend to play drums (this is mostly me waging war on my roommates), pretend to be a fictional character while rolling dice (this is mostly me being a giant nerd), and go from bar to bar becoming progressively friendlier and more Strongbow scented.

I also seem to be attempting to add more words to this thing as the OkCupid overlords don't believe that my profile is complete until I add more words. NEED MOAR WORDS!!!

spanking it! it doesn't matter what it is. I am the master of spanking!monkeys, statues, the queen of uganda, somalis, crack whores, just about anything i will spank!

my large penis! i swear, it is gigantic! you should see it, people go: hey its dude's penis! he must be over there! the only problem is that it is really skinny. I need to feed it more

oprah shit

my left ball
my right ball
and four of my fingers

Anything that happens to interest me. Honestly, I like to think. I've kept myself up at nights just exploring my own thoughts. I love new ideas, concepts, perspectives.

Yes, I am on a typical Friday night.

I honestly can't think of anything to put here. There is very little that I will hide from someone. I will answer almost any question posed to me.

You are able to type a coherent sentence.