1. The Mayans don't know shit;
2. There's an app to tell you when the subway is coming, but not one to tell you when someone is going to push you in front of it;
3. Adam Sandler is still relevant (totally killed it at the 12/12/12 concert);
4. The Knicks MAY actually be fun to watch again;
5. 35 is the age when the doctor starts doing a particularly unpleasant exam during your yearly physical.
And without further delay back to the main event:
So I'm supposed to tell you why I'm so awesome so that you'll want to be internet friends? That's kinda lame. How about you just determine whether or not you think I'm "internet-attractive" and then we'll decide if we should take the "real-life attractive" test together. Deal?