In my case, I am someone who does not need or wish to act on sexual attraction. The attraction is there, but it is more of an aesthetic thing, an appreciation of physical beauty, but in a more academic sense. Instead we feel a desire to get to know someone, to get close to them in whatever way works best for us. Asexual people who experience attraction will often be attracted to a particular gender, and will identify as lesbian, gay, bi, or, in my case, straight.
Unlike celibacy, which people choose, asexuality is an intrinsic part of who I am as a person. Asexuality does not make our lives any worse or any better, we just face a different set of challenges than most sexual people.
Asexual people have the same emotional needs as anyone else, and like in the sexual community we vary widely in how we fulfill those needs. Some asexual people are happier on their own, others are happiest with a group of close friends. As for me, I have a desire to form more intimate romantic relationships, and wish to date and seek long-term partnerships. Asexual people are just as likely to date sexual people as we are to date each other.
Sexual or nonsexual, all relationships are made up of the same basic stuff: communication, closeness, fun, humor, excitement and trust all happen just as much in sexual relationships as in nonsexual ones. Unlike sexual people, asexual people are given few expectations about the way that our intimate relationships will work. Figuring out how to flirt, to be intimate, or to be monogamous in nonsexual relationships can be challenging, but free of sexual expectations we can form relationships in ways that are grounded in our individual needs and desires.
Hopefully that succinctly explains my situation.
I am also a classic ISFJ; the summary of that personality type is spot on.
I recently had a massive shift regarding my self-view and how I view the world. I feel as though I have stepped up a rung on the evolutionary ladder. My eyes are wide open for the first time in my life. I have managed to conquer the chronic pain that I've been hindered by in so many ways over the last 20 years. I feel true peace for the first time in my life, and it is amazing. I feel centered and calm, and very much alive in the moment. It is exhilarating and I am most definitely enjoying it. The baggage that has blocked the path to having a long, productive and satisfying life is gone. The world is so beautiful to me now, full of promise and potential. And I plan on making the most of the rest of my life. I hope that I am able to find someone with the same mindset. That is a must have for me. If my potential partner also happens to be cute, well, that's just the icing on the cake.
I am a big Stephen King fan; as a writer, I look to him as my mentor and my inspiration. James Patterson, John Grisham, Tom Clancy, Dean Koontz, Clive Cussler, Steve Martini, Anne McCaffrey, and John Sandford are just a few of my many other favorites. I read a little of everything, though mystery and imaginative stories are my favorites.
I am a writer, and have two novels about half completed, a third started and another one laid out and waiting for me to get to them. I also have several short stories and two novellas. While my goal was to become published by age 50, I'm writing at a slower pace than I'd like and it'll be more like 51 at this point. But that is fine. Where I am now as a person can only enhance the quality of my writing.
I’d be very pleased to share my stories with you; that IS what they are for, after all, and they will give you a good sense of who I am as a person.
I like a good story, regardless of genre, though I am most partial to those that fall outside the realm of my experience.
I watch a lot of Netflix, catching up on all the stuff that I missed while I was married. Some favorites are “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” "Bones," "The Dresden Files," “Lost” the new “Battlestar Galactica”—the second best show that I’ve ever seen on TV; “Heroes”, which I liked but was spotty at best. I enjoy the CSI type shows very much as well, especially NCIS.
I also am a big fan of shows from the BBC. Period pieces, classics, comedies, etc. Recently encountered and fell in love with "Sherlock." It's excellent. "Being Human" is another favorite.
I also am a Janeite, especially enjoyed "Pride and Prejudice," "Emma," "Sense and Sensibility," "Persuasion" and "Mansfield Park."
I may as well admit that I am a nerd. I love Sci-Fi, some fantasy, especially LOTR and Dragonriders of Pern...9th Pass in particular. I collect figures related to these genres and prefer to look at them as miniatures, lol. No, I do NOT play with them. They are for display only. I have played D&D, attend SF conventions (though not in some time) I've met Walter Koenig and Majel Barret Roddenberry and saw Gene speak in Cleveland in 1979. (AWESOME!) I've met Alan Dean Foster and got his autograph on a piece of my artwork related to one of his stories. I adore "Firefly" and "Serenity," steampunk--which is in most instances a fancy name for Victorian era SF and fantasy--and much more. I love Japanese animation as well, especially "Macross/Robotech." (Yeah, I know--not the same thing.) I like "The Walking Dead;" I like the first season the best, although the last episodes of season 3 were pretty good, too. I am particulalrly fond of post-apocalyptic stories.
I feel that I am intelligent, and have a goofy sense of humor, running from dry to Monty Pythonesque.
I also like to travel. I was in the Navy for 5 years and have been to: Spain, France, Italy, Yugoslavia, Greece, Israel, Egypt and Tunisia in the Mediterranean. To Diego Garcia and Singapore in the Indian Ocean. I have been to St. Thomas and Nassau in the Caribbean. I've been to Rome, Pompeii, Paris, Pisa, Cannes, Marseilles, Toulon, Alexandria, Cairo, Giza, Dubrovnik, Tel Aviv, Barcelona and Athens to name a few.
My favorite place is any place that there is water—that was why I joined the Navy!
I love music, especially most music from the 80's, very little current music (And I use that term loosely) with the exceptions of Abney Park and FalloutBoy. I do like a little country, primarily Lady Antebellum, The Civil Wars, The Lost Trailers and a few others.
I love art, and, though I haven’t done any of it in some time, I draw, am a good photographer—Navy trained—recently got back into building models (Though I am not content to build them as is, they always have to be as original or heavily modified as possible), and my favorite art is the type that is extremely realistic—as close to life as possible. I love to cook, and am pretty good at it. People watching can definitely be entertaining and endlessly fascinating.
I do not watch or participate in sports of any kind, so any potential partner will not be a sports widow, lol.
Oh, and I’m really, really good with computers and am also very good with remodeling, home improvement and gardening. I LOVE water gardens!
If you and I are compatible, you should know that you will have my full attention. I have no contact of any kind with any of my family, so no drama or ties outside the relationship. Just me and you.
I believe people until they give me reason not to. As for the past, we all have one, and for a lot of us they can be pretty bad—myself included—but I am able to talk about it and be okay with it if the person I’m talking to is okay with it, too. I don’t expect people to share theirs if it makes them too unhappy to do so. Moving forward is always best, but often quite hard to do.