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29 Sierra Madre, CA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 23–33
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 6:12pm
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Aries, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Y'all don't know what it's like being male, middle class, and white.

When someone describes themselves as a fun-loving optimist in the first line of their profile, I usually click away. What does this mean?

More to the point: I can't take OKC seriously, so I guess rather than talking about the things I like (like, say, camping, hiking, movie marathons, baseball, football, writing, video games, and long road trips), I'll mock this section and pretend I'm better than it.

I was raised by a hippie and a former stand-up comic, so I'm not sure I ever even had the potential to be normal.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
When I was 15, I came to realize no one pays you to be an ass, so I went to college and at least became a smart ass instead. And then I got a job as a TV production coordinator because apparently I had no compunction about being a Los Angeles cliche for a living. Then I got fed up with it, quit abruptly, and now I'm a motherfuckin' mailman. A what!? Yeah, a mailman. I walk 10 miles a day in shorts through the suburbs, inventing elaborate stories about the boring lives of my customers. Somehow, it's been more rewarding and relaxing than any other post-college profession I've had.

I write a lot in my spare time. We should get together so I can talk all about it for two hours until you order your dinner to-go.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
-Finding a way to blame all of my personal shortcomings on having a black president.
-Watching Law and Order marathons to make up for the fact I couldn't afford law school.
-Beating my 10yr old half-brother in 1-on-1 basketball. Kid can't shoot for shit.
-Senseless trivia. If you've got a thing for guys who can win gift cards at crappy pubs, I'm a panty-dropper.
-Most anything baseball related
-Recognizing a 15 year old Simpsons reference. But not a 14 year old one, because that's when it sucked.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That I look like about 50 different famous white guys, none of whom look alike. This list is ridiculous, and full of names that are both complimentary and insulting. And none of them are accurate. Go ahead and try to name (a legitimate) one that I haven't heard.

Probably that I'm not smiling. But it's mainly my co-workers who tell me that, and it's mainly because of them that I'm not smiling. I give them a menacing stare.

That I am the pinnacle of bland hetero-normative fashion. I rock a T-shirt and jeans like I invented the shit.

"Sir, you're causing a scene."
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Top 6s:

Books: Catch-22, Mysterious Stranger, Huck Finn, The Great Gatsby, The Stranger, Devil in the White City

Movies: Dr. Strangelove, Office Space, Ghostbusters, Fargo, There Will Be Blood, Pulp Fiction

Shows: The Wire, True Detective, Breaking Bad, South Park, Mad Men, Old 'Simpsons'

Musicians: LCD Soundsystem, Beastie Boys, The Rolling Stones, Arcade Fire, Girl Talk, The Replacements

And then a bunch of other bands you've never heard of before and/or that I heard before you, so why bother even stating them? *pushes up glasses and rolls eyes*
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Wild gesticulation
Run-on sentences
Gross generalizations
Meaningless lists
An ipod ipod touch iphone iphone 3G iphone 3GS iphone 4 ipad iphone 4s ipad 2 iphone 5 iphone 5C IPHONE 5S iPHONE 6iPHONE 6 plus!
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How the person who first said "shoot for the moon, because even if you fall short, you'll end up amongst the stars" had a really fucking awful grasp on astronomy.

How all of the most ambitious people I know are also the least talented people I know.

What those two boy scouts in Central Park were about to find in the bushes on Law and Order before my Netflix stream froze. I'll never know.

Why my oscillating fan only wants to hang out with me like 1/4th of the time.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Hanging out with all the dudes who send you the awful, perverted messages, to thank them for making me look good by comparison.

See also: baseball games, movie theaters, pub trivia/drinks, relaxing at home, finding new restaurants, and other WhitePeopleStuff™.

Or Netflix. Because Netflix doesn't judge me for spending $9.50 on "White House Down" like the uppity lady at the box office window.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Sometimes I look at profiles on here and say to myself "she's too well-adjusted for me."

I have a fear of flying, and I usually spend about the week before every flight I take obsessively reading Wikipedia articles about plane crashes because that's healthy behavior.

So yeah, I might be a fucking moron. Are you interested in dating a moron?

I know all the words to Natalie Imbruglia's "Torn." Let's rock that shit.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You read my profile and said "fuck it, he's got an income, and I've got five good years left, tops."

You enjoy this as much as I do (which is quite a lot):

You don't care that when/if we're together, I tell my parents that we met in a prison pen pal writing program. Less embarrassing for both of us that way.

-You have a strong intellect, but are casual-as-fuck about it.
-You read past the headline of a news story
-You feel the need to tell a total stranger on the internet to 'fuck off' and can't find anyone else right now