Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Y'all don't know what it's like being male, middle class, and
When someone describes themselves as a fun-loving optimist in the
first line of their profile, I usually click away. What does this
More to the point: I can't take OKC seriously, so I guess rather
than talking about the things I like (like, say, camping, hiking,
movie marathons, baseball, football, writing, video games, and long
road trips), I'll mock this section and pretend I'm better than
I sit cross-legged a lot. Because apparently I stopped studying
other methods of sitting after preschool.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I went to college so that when I argue with people on the internet,
I could say "oh yeah, well I went to college, so shut up!"
Then I got a job as a TV production coordinator because apparently
I had no compunction about being a Los Angeles cliche for a
Then I got fed up with it, quit, and now I'm a motherfuckin'
mailman. A what!? Yeah, a mailman. I walk 10 miles a day in shorts,
showing off my sexy calves for all the swooning 90 year old women
waiting by their doors for their weekly coupons. One at a time,
I'm writing a novel in my spare time, with enough frequency that
the local Starbucks baristas are comfortable calling me an asshole
to my face . We should get together so I can talk all about it for
two hours while you feign interest.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
-Finding a way to blame all of my personal shortcomings on
-Watching enough Law and Order to deserve an honorary law
-Beating my 10yr old half-brother in 1-on-1 basketball. Kid can't
shoot for shit.
-Senseless trivia. If you've got a thing for dive bar gift cards,
I'm a panty-dropper
-Most anything baseball related
-Recognizing 16 year old Simpson references, but not 15 year old
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That I look like every single famous white guy ever. All the ugly
ones and all the good looking ones and all of the ones in between.
If they had a beard for five minutes, apparently I look like
My co-workers tell me I don't smile much. Then again, they don't
seem to realize that they're the reason.
That my fashion sense is alarmingly hetero-normative. I rock a
T-shirt and jeans like I invented the shit.
"Sir, you're causing a scene."
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Catch-22, Mysterious Stranger, Huck Finn, The Great Gatsby,
The Stranger, Devil in the White City
Movies: Dr. Strangelove, Office Space, Ghostbusters, Fargo, There
Will Be Blood, Pulp Fiction
Shows: The Wire, True Detective, Breaking Bad, South Park, Mad Men,
Musicians: LCD Soundsystem, Beastie Boys, The Rolling Stones,
Arcade Fire, Girl Talk, The Replacements
And then a bunch of other bands you've never heard of before and/or
that I heard before you, so why bother even stating them? *pushes
up glasses and rolls eyes*
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
An ipod ipod touch iphone iphone 3G iphone 3GS iphone 4 ipad
iphone 4s ipad 2 iphone 5 iphone 5C IPHONE 5S iPHONE 6iPHONE
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How the person who first said "shoot for the moon, because even if
you fall short, you'll end up amongst the stars" had a really
fucking awful grasp on astronomy.
How all of the most ambitious people I know are also the least
talented people I know.
What those two boy scouts in Central Park were about to find in the
bushes on Law and Order before my Netflix stream froze. I'll never
Why my oscillating fan only wants to hang out with me like 1/4th of
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Hanging out with all the dudes who send you the awful, perverted
messages, to thank them for making me look good by
See also: baseball games, movie theaters, pub trivia/drinks,
relaxing at home, finding new restaurants, and other
Or Netflix. Because Netflix doesn't judge me for spending $9.50 on
"White House Down" like the uppity lady at the box office window.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have a fear of flying, and I usually spend about the week before
every flight I take obsessively reading Wikipedia articles about
plane crashes because that's healthy behavior.
So yeah, I might be a fucking moron. Are you interested in dating a
I know all the words to Natalie Imbruglia's "Torn." Let's rock that
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You read my profile and said "fuck it, he's got an income, and I've
got five good years left, tops."
You enjoy this as much as I do (which is quite a lot):
You know all the words to "Paul Revere" by the Beastie Boys
You don't care that when/if we're together, I tell my parents that
we met in a prison pen pal writing program. Less embarrassing for
both of us that way.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.