I'm a weird guy. This makes me better than those sheeple out there. You should just ignore all those other haaambones and hang out with me because I'm crazy and fun and get drunk at parties and say random things like stapler and cheeseball (unprovoked). The script for my character role in life is nothing more than a series of non-sequiturs.

*sigh*

I have difficulty getting involved with personae/art/music that takes itself seriously/isn't ironic.

I'm not married in the traditional sense. I'm just as "married" as I get. There aren't really any options that suit me for that (or for sexual identity for that matter).

I wear a lot of black/grey. Anything other than that feels like I'm wearing a costume in an attempt to be confused with someone else. This doesn't come from my elitism, it comes from an inability to identify with standard cultural roles/character types. I have made my peace with that.

I'm too old to understand what emo is or why hipsters put so much effort into their look when their attitude is "i don't care how i look".

I don't know how/if I fit in with the gay scene so I avoid it. i can't stand the aesthetic or the music of 90% of it and the rest of the breakaway groups (leather/bears/adult babies/bug chasers/et c.) are too specific to attract my interest.

I feel like an outsider around white Christian families that have backyard picnics and small-talk until they're tired of being fake and go home and yell at their families. This is a common predicament on this planet, so I'm sure you know what I'm getting at.

When I'm strapped into a minivan listening to family singing along to modern "country"/eating McDonald's I am in hell.

I guess the subculture/scene I'm most comfortable in is the goth scene. This is probably because of its pervasive black humour and self-mocking/irony. Also, I wear a lot of black and generally dig the aesthetic.

I decorate with skulls and colored lights. I listen to a lot of classical music. I like fancy food.

I like to hang out in graveyards. This is something I sneak off and do alone since it's hard to find others who are sincere about it and aren't just going for the "spooky" aspect.

I avoid cable television like the plague. The fast-paced commercials, reality TV, soulless dramas and unfunny/hackneyed sitcoms serve only to agitate my nerves and creep me out. I do, however, enjoy irreverent cartoon shows like Family Guy, The Simpsons, Drawn Together and South Park. Also, The Golden Girls=comfort food.

important: I'm only looking for friends. All woos are to be considered "friendly flirts". I am not interested in your peni and vaginae.

I do not identify as bisexual. I have yet to find a comfortable label (other than "queer", which wasn't an option.)

I find politics/religion/sports teams boring. They seem to be needless allegiances. Family and friends are enough for me.

I'm not a liberal or a conservative. I guess any kind of extremism doesn't sit well with me. It seems that the farther you run towards an idea, the further you end up from being human. I realize that being a centrist/moderate can also be taken to an extreme. I promise I'm just as much of a paradox/hypocrite as everyone else.

I've had it up to HERE with *created/unnecessary* drama/fight picking. I realize that some excitement/stress is unavoidable. In most cases, I don't get involved, I don't take sides and I don't gossip. I'm all about enjoying people as they are, if I can.

I often make "instant family".

I also let other people edit my profile... beware

I'm living with my hubby and writing music and running a production company/recording studio out of our home.

these are some of my solo projects:

http://www.myspace.com/masochistmonkeycircus
http://www.myspace.com/theinnerspiral
http://www.myspace.com/pianofortejoe

I am also trying to hunt down the Addams family so I can marry into their clan.

making people laugh so hard their insides come out of their butts.

my height

That they are suddenly, blindingly, and overwhelmingly in love with me. It's kind of a pain in the ass.

Editors

• MissNDesmond

music: big band, hot/sweet music, romantic period classical, jazz, blues, contemporary/pop/indie, one of my big influences is danny elfman (film scores and oingo boingo). squirrel nut zippers, tom maxwell, mike patton, i like the bread and butter "growing up a goth kid in the 90's stuff" like nine inch nails and marilyn manson, but i never got into Korn or ICP because i think they suck.. Gil Shaham, i also really love Enya for some reason and i love listening to middle eastern shit.. and i like Björk, David Bowie, Nina Simone, darshan ambient, the abysis projects, Dead Can Dance, the Dresden Dolls, Esthero, Fiona Apple, Jeffy Buckley, The Magnetic Fields, Morrissey/The Smiths, Mr Bungle, Radiohead, Tool, TOM WAITS.. VNV Nation, boards of canada, andrew bird, rufus wainwright, amy winehouse, BOX FIVE, the tiger lilies, sopor aeternus, sisters of mercy

1. headphones
2. my phone
3. a functioning studio
4. a piano of some type
5. the night
6. occasional company

the inner workings of the universe.. the cosmic gears, so to speak

slam dancing with gregarious lepers and shrieking a ghastly shriek when I slam them a bit too hard and their limbs go skidding across the dance floor, seriously though, i can do anything: clubbing (no top 40/hip-hop/techno please), barring, staying home, making art with girls, making out with boys, strolling through the cemetery.. it's all good. as long as i'm with good people (or alone.. mmmmm)

i consider spending ALL night getting drunk/talking with someone to be "scoring" as i'm not so big on sex.

Cuddling is quite nice too.

As I get older, I find it increasingly difficult to find people to stay up all night with me. This includes young'uns.

please just message me if you feel like it. i promise i won't be an unwarranted asshole.

but i have been getting less patient with American pop-culture fanatics