Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
(recently transplanted from the PNW) sex-positive writer and social
chameleon seeks collaborators for subverting the establishment, bar
stool philosophizing, creative endeavors, adventure, and general
my personality can probably best be described as what would happen
if 1) a 13-year old boy who woke up one morning inside a busty
woman's body, 2) a snarky and cynical old queen past his glory
days, 3) your anti-government survivalist uncle, and 4) a young
dorthy day all got together and had a baby. i recognize that
reading people's profiles can be a lot like reading the ingredients
on a box of processed food and trying to imagine what it tastes
like; nevertheless i'll do my best.
i'm an introvert that plays the part of extrovert well (INFP, if it
matters). friendly and easy to talk to. unafraid of risk. literate.
often mistaken for younger than i am. has fingers in many pies.
largely incapable of small talk (i can muscle my way through it but
for me it's only foreplay to get to the good stuff). constantly in
a state of trying things on. craves authentic human connection and
intellectual stimulation (and sometimes, pizza).
i'm sensitive to the cruelty and suffering in the world. awed by
the beauty occasionally demonstrated by humans. searching into the
future. haunted by ghosts of the past. highly emotionally
developed, perceptive, and self-aware. a big soft, wet, gooey
heart, but i won't show it right away. striving and wondering if
i'll make it. am i a lion disguised as a mouse, or a mouse
disguised as a lion? is enough ever enough?
i thrive on genuine communication about shit that matters; it is
the air i breathe. consequently, i've found that being real with
people right away is a quick-n-easy vetting process! my life is
slipping through my fingers like sand, so is yours, and i don't
have time to talk about the weather... i want to understand the
world and myself better through understanding YOU. the older i get,
the more apparent it becomes to me that conversation is my
"when two people relate to each other authentically and humanly,
god is the electricity that surges between them." -martin buber
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
i used to be very ambitious. lately, i feel that the most
distinguished degrees are at best only buttresses to prop ourselves
up and the most lucrative career in the world pales in comparison
to the comfort and joy provided by a community of true friends. or
as j.r.r. tolkien puts it: "if more of us valued food and cheer and
song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world." so the best
thing i have found i can do for myself is to thoroughly enjoy my
life and imbue everyone i touch with the feeling of having been
loved, embraced, and understood. that sounds like some major hippie
shit but it's what's real.
likes: kung fu flicks, puppies, a good piece of garlic bread,
puns(!), sunrises, backyard fires, stand-up comedy, warm mud
between my toes, bubble baths, endorphins, sharing a laugh with
strangers, morning sex, zombie movies, waffle cones, pink monster
dislikes: too-cool-for-school people, pickles, apathy, rules,
"authority", evangelists, a punch in the face, callousness,
endangered species poaching, class warfare, aggressive spiders,
shitty drivers, shitty roommates, dog shit on the sidewalk.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
writing. choosing the slowest line in any retail establishment.
steering a car with my knees. making others feel comfortable.
wrestling dogs. saying it like it is. processing your shit. meeting
people. sneezing several times in a row. not judging others (you
would be surprised). tending to people who have been overlooked.
kissing. communicating fully yet kindly. laughing at inappropriate
times. dancing to phat beats. being good to others. defying
propriety. not getting offended. dipping my hair into whatever i'm
eating. being your wingman. finding the word you're looking for.
cooking dope meals. finding the shoes i want cheaper online. coming
up with the perfect retort 2 -4 seconds too late to work it into
the conversation. handling my anger, and yours too. massage. being
present. getting distracted. communicating with the insane. looking
extra fly when i wanna.
i'm really bad at:
math. dealing with bureaucracies. spelling "bureaucracy" (i have to
look it up every damn time). juggling. keeping my big mouth shut at
critical moments. keeping plants alive. smiling on cue for the
camera. being patient with automated phone systems. remembering
names. remembering MLA formatting. remembering your birthday.
giving a shit about pop culture.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
well, let's be honest, i have big tits, so depending on what i'm
wearing, those are probably in the top tier. my dreadlocks also get
a lot of compliments.
i have also been described as a "badass" and a "do-gooder," as well
on a side note, a boy i once dated said i was "like a fucking
unicorn," shaking his head in awe. i think what he was referring to
was my intriguing mix of feminine and masculine qualities... i
never had a dad and thus never learned the boy-girl dynamics game,
so i am the type of lass who loves to sew, cook, dress up purty,
care-take others, and has a hearty feminine lust for sensual
pleasures, and at the same time i will drink you under the table,
throw a football around, chop cord wood, and back you up in a bar
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
books! i'm a nerd. gimme gimme gimme!!
tv- some all-time favorites are THE WALKING DEAD, orange is the new
black, sons of anarchy, true blood, heroes, the office, family guy,
the daily show, lie to me, strangers with candy, archer... you get
where i'm coming from.
movies- what can i say? i watch a lot but it's hard to thrill
music- i like almost everything (no heavy metal, christian, or
contemporary country, thank you very much).
i'm a little obsessed with philip glass. someday i hope to marry a
woman who plays the piano. i could forgive a multitude of sins in
exchange for a little musical talent.
food- i eat.
this section is boring, let's save it for conversation, shall we?
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
alone time. social time. music of all types. books. nature. healthy
food. my vixskin outlaw. that's seven, but i'm a rebel, baby.
(runners up: the interwebs, my sense of humor, my homies).
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
how do we just get humans to treat each other decently? that's the
kazillion dollar question, right... the one that would solve all
the world's problems.
the collapsing dollar, the future of the united states, what i'm
going to eat for lunch, the creative process, women, social
justice, how i can best be of service, money, DIY stuff, what i
should've said instead of what i actually said, police brutality,
the world bankers, bewbs, my next tattoos, human motivation, how
drag queens do their makeup so much better than i do, the nature of
reality, the nature of evil, how the media is trying to manipulate
me to either buy shit or believe shit, science, god, sex, what i
should be doing instead of this.
(or should that have read "sex-- what i should be doing instead of
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
going out, or staying in.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
i have little concept of personal privacy.
unless you're the nsa.
if you're the nsa, piss off!
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
what i want:
1) friends!! you should message me if we're over 70% match to one
another. here's what i've learned in my several years on okc:
regardless of if there turns out to be sexual chemistry, if you
meet in person someone who's over 85 or 90 percent match, you have
an instant rapport and an awesome new friend. and who doesn't want
more awesome friends?
**straight guys, i don't want to sleep with you but i still love
you! have you considered the many perks of having a lesbo friend?
a) check out girls with you
b) give you sex tips
c) play sports with you
d) help you restore your father's muscle car
e) help you not to dress like such a slob
f) drink you under the table
2) sexy connections...?
i've dated a lot, and honestly, at this point i'm looking more to
"court" than to "date", although i wouldn't turn away a meaningful
casual relationship if one found me.
i tend to be most attracted to sporty-chicks/tomboy femmes/women
just slightly more on the feminine side of androgyny... probably
because that's about where i'm at, although my interests/hobbies
are probably about 70% "butch" (whatever *that* means--- who
decides it's womanly to cook and manly to build things and lift
weights??). that said, it is all about the person, and i have
definitely met women i had no initial attraction to who i developed
crushes on through a few good conversations (me =
*note: i'm monogam-ish... i only do open relationships, because
life is short and connecting with people is fun. but when i find
someone i like i am (mostly) satisfied with them.
**note also: i am mostly gay (in that i have only had love
relationships with women) but i do occasionally play with dudes. i
refer to myself as a sexual omnivore...i certainly have a favorite
food (yum!) but i'll eat just about anything if i get hungry
if you're going to message me, please either a) be a fucking
awesome weirdo, or b) *bring it wit da real shit*. ask me about the
last book i read that changed my worldview, or let's talk about the
meaning of life... anything but "hey girl," or "how was your
weekend?" #yawn. AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT.
be forewarned... poor grammar and spelling are anathema to me!
(hiss!!!) if you don't know the difference between their, they're
and there, stay away!
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