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monocyte

31 M Chicago, IL

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 5:02pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 2″ (1.88m)
Body Type
Thin
Diet
Anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Agnosticism, but not too serious about it
Sign
Cancer, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Working on med school
Job
Science / Engineering
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
In a recent visit to the Meyers Pantographic Institute, my psyche was removed for cleaning, lubrication, and adjustment. While the technicians labored at the periphery modifying pin stops on the mortality awareness module and calibrating synchronizing belts on the awareness, recognition, and recording bus, I was afforded a rare view of the whole of my self laid out for me.

Turning towards the center, where the soul resides, I could see Parker, sipping Dektol, manipulating the entry console of Big George, and waiting, obliviously, for the arrival of the Caterpillar Heart to make him a being. To the left, connected to a more removed part of the system was a terrarium containing Fred the snake, curled in the heat of his lamp, unconfused yet uncomprehending of the processes that whirred about him and quietly experiencing his compressed universe.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I've been back in medical school since January. I am almost certain I will somehow kill a child every day. I've learned some things, like that medicine is that mostly psychiatry, that I have near preternatural patience with difficult people, and that all cells of the good/bad people good/bad things matrix are thoroughly inexplicable.

I returned to medical school from a PhD in doing terrible things to mice. Given that mouse torture underlies much of modern medicine, I now am able, in certain contexts, to Clark Kent from nervous fourth-year medical student screwing up questions about diuretics to preternaturally confident well-respected professional expert interrogating a visiting speaker on macrophage subpopulation dynamics.

Which by the way, speaking as a scientist, screw Meyers-Briggs. What a garbage personality assessment. Poor construct validity, poor agreement with well-validated personality scales, bullshit Jungian basis. Only I/E has any resemblance to a reliable measure, so: IXXX. I look forward to the day when we confidently report our MMPI psychopathic deviate T score is 48.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I'm good at knowing everything, ever. Not like what you should do (I have an opinion on that and I'm keeping it to myself), but mentat fact things. I'm not sure whether I get regular enjoyment or addict enjoyment out of it and it is probably a kind of sickness.

I have nerd hobbies. I like to cobble different sorts of electronic devices and other gadgetry together. For a while I was repairing old Russian cameras.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Nerdy, skeletal. Quiet and/or loud. There's usually some question as to whether I'm joking or not. I'm joking, but possibly in a deadly serious way. The problem is that my face, quite often, does not reflect my thoughts, and that my smile, quite often, is a ghost's smile.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
OK bucket list fine OK.
Books: Vollmann, DeLillo, Auster, Bolaño (Savage Detectives!). Also, Ballard, Borges, and Miéville. Dostoyevsky, to my recent surprise. Robbins' Pathologic Basis of Disease. Nabokov. Lydia Davis. Jim Crace (The Gift of Stones, Arcadia, Being Dead).
Movies: Happiness. Withnail and I. Schizopolis. Dead Ringers. Eternal Sunshine, Her. Melancholia. Lest I appear a mope, Spirited Away.
Music: Talking Heads (listen to Seen and Not Seen while editing your profile), Smog, Max Tundra, Matthew Dear, Wire, Spiritualized®, Sonic Youth etc. etc. You know the profile.
Food: There is a Kyrgyzstani restaurant in my neighborhood which I like. Because I like many kinds of food.
I got super interested in board games recently. It's turning into kind of a problem. Like hundreds of them, mostly unplayed.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Books on the train, the weekly reading treadmill (alas, let both my NYRB and LRB subs run out after getting back to med school, at least now I have some time to read books instead of just reviews of books), blood and blood products, Cabinet magazine, inappropriately highfalutin' diction, m'kitties.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The subjective experience of mice and whether the routine work I have performed with them makes me basically a monster. When I die and go to Mouse Hell and face the Judges of the Heavenly Court's squeaky faces, what shall I say? Just following orders?

Bad choices I have made in the past and will make in the future, and how they will influence the bad choice or choices I am making at this moment.

Competencies and deficiencies, particularly in the being a functional adult department.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Often catatonic and/or obtunded. Often at 'work'. Check back Saturday? Now that my surgery rotation has ended, more energy may be available for life.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
While everyone has their brightlines and areas kept secret from all, I think I'm more willing than most to talk about the private, especially fears and anxieties. Mostly as ha ha only serious kinds of jokes. So here's a frustration:

As a 26th grader, I am simultaneously a highly skilled adult and am trapped in the amber of bizarre superadolescence. I'm not a man-child, but I am sort of a child-man. On returning to medical school from grad school, I simultaneously received an endorsement that I am Competent and Know My Shit, and the classic marker of the Idiot Clown Moron, the med student's short coat (compare to paper hat that says 'trainee' on it).

Schedules and classes and grades and multiple choice and Participation Points abound in this universe that I've returned to, and it leaves a sour taste. The worst part that as they compress my independence they serve their purpose: Assessment shoves Curiosity aside as my main muse, keeping me on track, cajoling The Information into me, forcing alien cognitive habits like 'high yield' upon me. I don't like this new lady as much. Medicine and its practice is amazing, but medical school is in many ways a factory.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 24–36
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
"Dear attractive woman number 2, only once in my life have I responded to a person the way I've responded to you, but I've forgotten when it was or even if it was in fact me that responded."