i guess i think too much, sometimes
i'll admit i'm an odd person
i've been told i'm a nice guy,
but often enough that i'm too nice to actually be with,
because people feel like i'm naive and innocent,
and they don't want to make me uncomfortable
it's simply because i take people's feelings into consideration
perhaps i do it too much?
but i'm not naive
not by a long shot
also, i'm a contradiction in terms, i fell
(aren't we all?)
i never understood the partying thing
getting so drunk you're waking up on some stranger's doorstep in the middle of a winter night
but i dont mind having a glass of wine now and then
i like some wines because they dont taste like beer
a strange thing is i like some anime, but from a storyteller's standpoint, not the crazed fanaticism of the fan-people
i guess that's why my time spent in the anime club in high school was a little off too;
i was the only politically conservative, story-oriented mind of the bunch, with set morals and an eye for logic
not to say that the others were boring, or dumb, or anything like that
maybe i'm fickle? or simply always searching for that one thing, that no one's found yet, but maybe i can find if i look hard enough?
in that respect i feel like a mad scientist, trying to discover the secrets of the universe, always on my own, and no soul to fall back on when in need
i'm also a virgin, 21 years old, but that doesn't bother me
people see me as shy, as maybe i don't have the nerve
i may be a little shy, but 'm not ashamed of letting people know i intend to wait until i'm married
is that strange?
am i missing out, like they say?
if sex is that big of a deal, shouldn't i wait then?
i'd like to be with someone everything can be shared with
my deepest thoughts
my darkest secrets
i like to think that maybe somewhere, a girl exists that is my other half
someone that i can be perfect for, and vice/versa, a truly 50/50 relationship
perhaps i am a bit naive
but it's not like i haven't been in relationships before
i understand the work, the hard, sweaty work that goes into building and maintaining a relationship
but usually the differences drag you down
even when you try to compensate in various ways,
there's still a divide that gets bigger and bigger
and she always gets bored, because your interests are not hers, and vice/versa
maybe it's because all my relationships were between me, county-boy, and them, the city girls?
like i said, i never got the partying thing
but i've always been a bit of a loner, an oddball
i love to paint, to write, to draw, to craft, and ruminate on my favorite subjects

it's hard being yourself when you come from the country to some big city, and all these new pressures and ideologies flung at you from every political and social fixation
everything from the crazy conspiracies of the James Birch Foundation to the mindless anti-semitism and "Barackism" that people have flung around today
not that i'm bashing obama
he's an ok guy, and i think it's awesome we have the first black president
i just wish it wasn't him
who else, you ask?
well, i'm more inclined towards Condaleeza Rice
in fact, I think she would've made the perfect president, if she hadn't decided not to run
out of everyone in the political theater (because that's what it is... comedy and tragedy galore) i like her the best
she's smart, secure, and knows what she's talking about.
but i digress.
i'm not saying liberals are totally mindless sheep either.
there are some things, like equality, they are right on the money with.
but more often than not, they strive for the opposite position from the right, just to boost themselves up, for fun
(maybe i don't digress lol)
not that some republicans don't either
basically, it all comes down to the people themselves, not any party or stereotype one might fling around.
where do you stand?
do you want peace and prosperity, or do you simply use those keywords to hide behind your agendas?
i'll have everyone know, i'm not a total strict republican, though i am registered in that party
i have done my research on every part of the political spectrum, and thus my politics have always been more Centric-Traditionalist,
in other words for less government involvement, less military involvement, and more will of the people
but some might say, aren't the people too ignorant to decide for themselves?
only if they've been brought up like most of western civilization, in our mindless public schools, our ridiculous fixation on items instead of the things that last
you know, back in the 19th century, when kids still went to those little schoolhouses, they learned things at around 4th grade level that we graduate from school with at 12th grade
ridiculous
where is our mighty government?
where are the people who said, "trust in me, i will keep you safe"?
but one neglects to tell you about the Safety Balance
at one end is Safety, the other is Liberty
true, more safety can mean more security
but how long does it take for the police, or any emergency unit for that matter, to respond to an emergency?
too long
i live in philadelphia, pa, usa
i've seen friends shot, friends hit by drunk drivers, all die.
they didn't have to die.
but our government is so concerned with safety, and numbers instead of people, they don't understand how these people could've been saved
at least half of them

i guess that's it for now
the dork is out of steam lol
more random thoughts across more topics?
and what are your thoughts on these subjects, fellow writers?

As I climb up the steps
Into the open doorway
I think of all we've done
And all that's left to do

But we'll leave it behind
Our past's persistent farce
Above Macchu Picchu, we'll
Slip to the distant stars

I look to the stars
Ages far from anywhere
feel their piercing stare
Take us away from here

And when I dream,
I will dream of a better life
I will say what I think,
Look for the better side

The blue sky's opened up
For our quick escape
Climb up off this mountain,
Forget the human race

So close the doors now
Turn down the lights
Power the engines, and
Rocket to the skies

It's all so surreal
This vision of life
And the space and the time
We both occupy

And when I dream,
I will dream of a better life
I will say what I think,
Look for the better side
I'll look at you,
And know everything's all right
Ink on paper in candlelight
Like being as one in life

The indigo sky surrounds us
Our ship's bathed bright
By the silvery moon
And his sister starlight

Last rays of the setting sun
Caress the moon as she lies
Herself to sleep in the sea
Dreaming of tomorrow's life

And when I breathe
I will breathe you in
Show them how we live
Under God above

Breathe you in
Atmosphere of you
A new planet, where
We are the land and sea

We're the fire below
And the sky above
Fall asleep, now
And drift away
Over mountains
Under oceans
Drift away...

... and i will sing a silly song. beware.

Malaise (More Boar, Por Favor)

It's the girl from the store
Looking through the door
Like a nasty alligator
A very angry factor

Thought I heard her snore
Her job must be a bore
Digging deep for ore
Maybe she started a war

I rode upon a tractor
Because I wanted to explore
The secrets that she'd harbor
Behind the grocery store

They hatched from our core
They walked in the door
Their substance is poor
Our ghosts mop the floor

Cleaning up the gore
Of a broken store
Who knows what for
But pots and pans galore

I tried to close the door
That was quite a chore
The water I had to pour
Seeping through the floor

That nurse I really adore
Much better than a doctor
But she left me for
The old man at the shore

Maybe they will miss, or
Maybe they will score
Maybe they caught a boar
Maybe they'll eat more

Large monster at the door
He wants your guts and gore
The metal screws, the wooden board
All the things that you adore

I tried telling you before
You left for the shore
It's you I live for
It's you I adore

Maybe while you explore
You'll look at your core
Find in me your amour
To you, this I implore

Of cats, there were four
They left through the door
Walking down the shore
They were seen no more

Out of a house in the sky in the door
Pours the waters of an old ancient lore
Of the two-headed giraffe of a watery war
Into a hole in the ground in the floor

Out of my brain streams a rabbit or four
They are all made with ten eyes but no more
They launch an attack from their toes in the war
Down from a house in the sky in the door

what do you think?
it's also at my profile at editred.com under mooncougar13

Cactus Sun

Met a girl in a golden dress
In this land of sun and fire
Her lips the color of sunset
In this desert of fire and liars

White-hot I met her there,
In the golden flames
She was walking past me,
Her eyes shined no hidden games

Wouldn't speak her name, only asked me,
"Where are you going, now?"
With that old bag on your shoulder,
And your heart buried underground?"

"Have to see the world," I said
"Maybe somewhere I'll let go
Of my burden, but for now
I'll just walk this dusty road
In the desert,
In this desert"

Shimmering before me
On this dusty desert road
A mirage she seemed to me,
But her words were real and cold

Her eyes the color of blues skies
I knew she spoke truth to me
As she stood there, unwavering,
She told me her own story

"I was given a burden to carry
A fateful past, and an old canoe
I was to reconcile with
My old beat-up scars.

"The rapids they almost took me
As away upriver pushed I
Stabbed by the stagnant river reeds
Cut up by old dry cacti
In the river,
In this river

She looked away, down the road
Bit her lip, unfolded a sigh
"Where will you go now?" asked I
"I'm tired of walking alone,"
She said, her voice catching,
"I want someone by my side"

I looked into her eyes,
She grabbed my hand
"Take me with you,"
She said to me
"Let us share our burdens
Together, on the road."

I looked down the the road
Saw it stretch to the horizon
"Wherever we may go
Mountains high, and canyons low,
We'll walk among the cacti,
But not alone in the desert,
In this desert."