Ok, before you ask, my profile name is not a lame attempt at an innuendo; it’s a reference to the author. …Well ok, maybe it’s a little bit of a lame attempt at an innuendo too.

I’m passionate about writing and education. The former because I believe that the stories we tell are the truest window into who we are and who we want to be, and the latter because I love science and found out that there’s an entire society of people who believe that the world is flat. (You laugh, look it up: Flat Earth Society) No child will grow up believing that the real world works like Pac-man on my watch!

If money was no longer an object, I'd buy a yacht and spend my days sailing around the world, learning everything I can about the places I go and people I meet. I’d master cooking the cuisine of at least 12 different nations, and I’d probably need to befriend at least one charismatic islander to be a guide and traveling companion; I suppose, if I couldn't manage that last part, a face painted on a volleyball would have to do. What would you do if you could do anything?

At the moment, I like to think of myself as a traveling guest lecturer at some of the finer middle and high schools in the greater Grand Rapids area (read as: substitute teacher), though should the opportunity to settle into one position, teaching the intricacies of the philosophies of Newton and Einstein present itself, I would jump at it (read as: looking for full time position teaching physics).

Music:

I can enjoy most things, though I’m particularly fond of classic rock and older-style progressive rock: Pink Floyd, the Eagles, etc. It’s always fun looking at the differences between things I write while listening to tracks from The Wall as opposed to something like Rage Against the Machine... fun, but also occasionally a little disturbing; we are talking about the Wall, afterall.

TV Shows:

I can’t help but notice that the best done TV shows (e.g. Breaking Bad, Dexter, White Collar) are always on cable stations these days: the place where the creators have to be least concerned about what the average person thinks of their work... Of course, there are a few notable network exceptions: Modern Family, Castle, Community, etc.

Books:

I enjoy classics, and books that open peoples’ minds to new ideas (Crime and Punishment, Slaughter House 5, To Kill a Mocking Bird, the Elegant Universe, etc) but there is something to be said for those that are just really engaging, enjoyable stories (Da Vinci Code, Sherlock Holmes Novels/Short Stories). My absolute favorites, however, are those that do both (Catch 22, The Passage, the Master and Margarita, etc).

I was going to write a movies section too, but this is already getting a bit winded. I do like movies; if you're curious what kind: ask.

Climbing mount Kilimanjaro with an ethnically diverse, ragtag team of scientists, lovable stoners, medical experts, greedy businessmen, fastidious lawyers and token cute child of a member of the team who stowed away somewhere because they were angry with their parent, but still starving for attention. If anyone's interested, I'm still looking for a former-military, helicopter pilot to inexplicably save the day when the exploits of businessmen and lawyers blow up in everyone's faces, helicopter flight experience and military training not required.

I have tremendous man-crushes on Nathan Fillian and Robert Downey Jr. ...What? Those are both 100% justifiable.

You've read through this, and you think I'm someone you'd like to get to know more about. I mean, you really should, but in the end that's your call. I'll wait...