Seeking Younger Woman for Three-Parent Family -- Any Location
I am a book lover and a creative, intellectually active, slightly shy mom of two great kids. I have a community I like and a wonderful partner of 16 years, PhD_PeaceFamily -- an ex-musician, computer scientist and devoted father. We are very happy together, and we are also looking for an another woman to become family with us: to have and raise children with us, and to share and experience more of life together. I have always craved the companionship and closeness of a female friend who wouldn't go away as she got married, got a job in another city, went off to grad school, etc., leaving our friendship a casualty of modern society.
We seek a nerd-friendly, kid-friendly, kink-friendly woman who wants to have children and would value the love and partnership of two smart, caring adults in living and raising our children together in a larger household, providing: more companionship, love and support; more intellectual and emotional stimulation; more role models for our children; more hearts, hands and minds for raising them well; and more eco-efficiency than multiple smaller families. "It takes a village" to raise a child, and we know from our own experience that additional role models of other caring adults can greatly enrich our children's lives as well as our own.
Although we have limited experience dating another woman -- both because we are deliberate in our approach and because we have been busy with other things, such has having children -- this is not a new quest for us. We made this decision several years ago after much thought and consideration, but have recently renewed our search.
We want a lasting relationship, based on shared values and great communication, with a woman who makes a conscious choice to live according to her true beliefs and desires.
If you have ever seen a red "MAKE JOBS, NOT WAR" bumper sticker, it came from us. We have given away over 10,000 of them since Bush started gearing up to invade Iraq. (They are available on our website, http://morepeace.org/ .) We strongly support peace, human rights and environmental organizations. We believe in helping others and protecting the world around us. Fundamentally we believe in truth and the golden rule, and we wish our government did too.
We live a healthy lifestyle, with healthy habits, weight and exercise -- jogging or gym. We eat mostly home cooked meals, mostly organic and mostly vegetarian (though some fish and chicken), but we are not dogmatic or rigid about it. We don't drink, smoke or watch TV, but we do indulge in dark chocolate. :)
We are nerdy, tending toward intellectual pursuits, tempered by simple practicality and creativity. We have walls of books.
We love foreign travel, though we have hardly traveled since our twins were born. :) We have each been to over twenty countries, and we each speak at least a little of at least two foreign languages.
We also greatly enjoy simple home-oriented activities, such as making pizza with the kids -- including making our own whole wheat crust -- or canning home-made applesauce in the autumn.
We are not necessarily looking for someone to be sexually intimate with both of us. First and foremost we want a lasting relationship that works for all involved, and whether that includes sexual intimacy with only one of us -- either one -- or both of us, will depend on the preference of the individual and the relationship that develops. We are open to consider any arrangement; we just want it to work for the long haul.
We are strongly attachment-oriented, and have no desire to seek "outside" sexual relationships. For us, physical intimacy needs to be based first on emotional intimacy and trust.
We enjoy some kink / BDSM and a dominant/submissive relationship as one loving aspect of our overall interaction -- and if you have submissive desires that would be a plus ;) -- but mostly we are just smart, creative, caring people who love each other and hope to have another woman and more kids in our family. In the long run, shared values are more important than chemistry, though good chemistry is also important.
Although what we seek falls under the broad umbrella of polyamory, what we want is different from what we usually see practiced in the polyamory community. For one thing, we have no interest in multiple, separate relationships that would fragment our life. We want togetherness and polyfidelity. Second, in spite of any immediate attraction that we may feel toward you, we are slow and cautious about sexual involvement: we need a solid emotional relationship first. Given the number of people who, as a knee-jerk reaction, assume that our primary interest in finding another woman is sexual, there is clearly some irony about this, but that's the way we are.
Furthermore, although some may describe what we seek as polygamy, that term is likely to be very misleading. We do not believe in patriarchy, gender role stereotypes, separatism or subjugation of women, we are not dogmatic and our desire for "more family" has nothing to do with our religion. (D is quaker; M is jewish.) We are open minded, intellectual, accepting and respectful of others. We just want the mutual life enrichment of a larger family in a way that works for all involved, and we are willing to think and live slightly "outside the box" in order to create it.
More about us
The okcupid journal area has more thoughts, and flickr has more (slightly out-of-date) photos if you'd like to learn more. Or just contact us. :)
We realize that what we seek is unusual, and thus we should not limit our search geographically. Although we live outside of Boston, and we very much like our home and community, we are willing to relocate if that would best serve our family as a whole.
Furthermore, if you live in or near a major US city, the chances are very good that one or both of us could arrange to meet you for a meal sometime when we are traveling for work or other reasons.
If this sounds interesting to you, or if you are curious to learn more, please write! Life is short. We reply to all inquiries (other than blatant spam).