Warning: This section may be addictive, may induce laughter, and may produce harmful levels of optimism. Side effects include unexpected giggling, excessive shaking, and loose dentures. Please consult a doctor if you are pregnant, trying to get pregnant, or were once pregnant. Please do not use for any purpose other than intended, including lowering blood pressure, reducing tension and relieving menstrual cramps. Discontinue use immediately if you experience bloating and/or severe itching.

Now that you've been sufficiently warned, I can relax and write the rest of this section, knowing that you're less likely to sue me.

I am a college graduate with a major degree in Business Administration and minor degree in Political Science. I am best described as a walking contradiction, in that, I am sensitive, reserved, and grounded on the one hand, and on the other hand, I stand 6'1" tall of wit and sarcasm. I enjoy weightlifting, long bike rides on the Seawall, meeting new people, an eclectic sense of humor, music, snowy days, friends, capitalization where necessary, travel, sarcasm, witty banter, proper grammar and punctuation, good conversation and good times. I am employed by the Grammar Police, so when I crack down on you for incorrect spelling or poor grammar, remember folks, I am just doing my job. For years, I have wanted to represent my city of Minneapolis in a politicial event so that I can shed a few tears, pretend for a split second that I understand the complexities of world peace, and insist that Nicaragua neighbors Spain, when asked about my B.A. in Geography (as if it even exists). I smack arrogant individuals of both genders with my front tire. When I was seven-years-old, I used to hand in all of my assignments with squiggly printing, until one day my Elementary School Teacher informed me Halloween was over! It's impossible to catch me in any club-snub atmosphere. Instead, I make frequent trips to the local library and borrow books I find interesting. I can't help but wonder how many have seen my face on the Internet; and often time when they stare long enough I build up the courage to ask if they recognize my face from "The Matrix". I hate when spell-check insists that the word favorite cannot be spelled without a 'u'; we live in America, god damnit (similarly, I dislike when websites prohibit my profane language). I am a firm believer that rollerbladers should be altogether banned from the Seawall. I have refrained from breaking down my "Mandatory Description" into smaller paragraphs to strain your eyesight, as well as for your reading enjoyment. And when my sister and I were young, we assembled our own set of Lego toys, now available to own for only four easy payments of $34.99.

I am a paralegal. I hope to become an attorney one day.

Writing: I worked for a newspaper. My job revolved around fact-checking and research. Thanks to those skills, I am writing a book that I will hopefully publish one day.

Trivia: Yes, trivia. I have always wanted to be on the game show "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire." Then again, I am just a dreamer. When I spend time on the computer, I play trivia games that are mainly about history, politics, recent events, and, sometimes, science.

Playing soccer: I played professional soccer until the summer of 2005, when I suffered from a herniated disk in my lower back. I have never been to a soccer field ever since. Despite that, I still have strong passion for the sport.

Debating politics: I have strong convictions. I regularly participate in political debates on the Internet.

My eyes. It has to be the color.

Favorite books: Thieves in High Places by Jim Hightower, BushWhacked by Molly Ivins, Against All Enemies by Richard Clarke, The Scorpion's Gate by Richard Clarke, The Best Democracy Money Can Buy by Greg Palast, Armed Madhouse by Greg Palast, Ghost Wars by Steve Coll.

Favorite movies: Hancock, Mr. Bean's Vacation, the Butterfly Effect, Clerks 1 and 2.

Favorite TV shows: Ghost whisperer, My Name is Earl, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Law and Order, NYPD Blue, CSI Miami, Missing, Grey's Anatomy, Lost, 24, Scrubs, The Simpsons, The Office, The Life and Times of Tim, South Park, My Wife and Kids, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, The Colbert Report, Real Time with Bill Maher, Boston Legal, The Practice.

Music: Linkin Park, Green Day, Rob Thomas, Nine Inch Nails, Nickelback, Alter Bridge, Fuel, Mercy Drive.

Food: Two words: Italian food.

The gym, my laptop, books, TV, my car, and most importantly, my degrees.

Why OKCupid forums such as "Bang or Pass" and "OKC Naughty Picture Contest" get much more hits than political/social forums, or topics that actually matter to society.

Call me a loser, but I don't do anything special on Friday nights. This isn't something I am ashamed of, either. I am quite proud of my lifestyle. I don't like to go to bars or clubs. I would much rather stay in my apartment and watch TV, read books, chat online, or play guitar.

And I'm addicted to Facebook.

Perhaps this is not something I should reveal on the internet, but I have been suffering from clinical depression for at least 12 years. It seems to get worse as I get older.

No libel, no slander, no lying, no swearing at all, no words that teenagers use a lot, no words that are used by rappers, hip-hop artists or Don Imus, no words that might offend any group or person or member of the animal kingdom, no ethnic slurs and/or epithets, no Christian fundamentalists, no bathroom humor, no bedroom humor either, no comparing anyone to Hitler, Stalin or Ann Coulter, no references whatsoever to Katie Couric's weight or Andy Rooney's age.