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mr_snoid

39 Los Angeles, CA Man

Man

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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18–60
  • Near me
  • For new friends, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 12:52pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Hispanic / Latin, White
Height
5′ 5″ (1.65m)
Body type
Average
Diet
Anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Rarely
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Atheism
Sign
Pisces
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Other
Income
$30,000–$40,000
Status
Open relationship
Type
Strictly non-monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Likes dogs and dislikes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I joined this site to find new sex partners. I already have a girlfriend (open relationship), so I can't really say I'm here for "dating."

I'm a mortician. My real calling in life is drawing comics in the tradition of underground cartoonists like Robert Crumb and S. Clay Wilson, but that doesn't pay the rent, so a few years ago I went to mortuary school. Working with dead people keeps me constantly entertained, and full of new stories which I will probably insist on sharing over dinner.

I read a lot, especially history. Favorite topics include North Korea, African civil wars, the 1939 Russo-Finnish Winter War, Central Asia, the Roman Empire, Japanese history, Antarctic explorers, true crime, terrorism, subcultures, strange or remote regions of the world and the way their perspectives on life contrast violently with ours. Obviously, I am a GIANT FUCKING NERD.

I accepted long ago that I am not a nice person in the conventional sense, but at least I am straightforward. I do not bullshit people, and expect the same in return. People who ask for my honest opinion should be prepared for some bluntness and lack of tact, but I can take it as well as I dish it, and appreciate that in others.

Sex and spicy food are my only two vices in life, and I like to indulge them as much as possible. I like sex rough and dirty, and am frequently attracted to the so-called "flaws" that give most women their character. I am clearly not romantic, but I make up for that in equal amounts of "nerdy" and "kinky." I can actually have a conversation both before AND after sex. And I like the plus-size gals.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm a licensed embalmer in the state of California. This means that every day I go to work and pump dead people full of formaldehyde to render them presentable for their grieving relatives. It's dirty, disgusting work, and I love it. It's probably the best job in the world, at least for me.

After spending all day up to my wrists in blood and feces, I come home to my apartment in downtown Hollywood. I eat, watch movies, read a lot, and every once in awhile get off my ass and draw something for my irregularly-produced comic, which will hopefully have a real issue self-published sometime in the next year.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Drawing cute furry animals doing horrible, violent, disgusting things. Illustrating pornographic coprophilia jokes. Making lists (see below). Discussing obscure battles and figures from World War II. Vaginal fisting.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm a short, stocky Mexican of surly disposition. I will probably reveal myself to be an overly bright but socially awkward misanthrope within five minutes of opening my mouth. And I usually pass for ten years younger than my actual age, although that can be a good or bad thing, depending on the situation.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books:

Anything by the Marquis de Sade, Peter Sotos, Anton LaVey, Adam Parfrey, John Keel, Antony Beevor, Ambrose Bierce, James Ellroy, Chester Himes, H.P. Lovecraft, Clive Barker, Edward Lee, George R.R. Martin, Alan Moore, Grant Morrison, Robert Crumb, S. Clay Wilson, Hideshi Hino, Suehiro Maruo, Kazuo Koike, Mike Mignola, and others I'll probably remember later.

You'll notice that's a lot of comic book authors/artists, with other folks who specialize in conspiracies, cults, UFOs, serial killers, sadomasochism, crime, and the occult. Throw in a lot of military history (especially civil wars, Vietnam, and Eastern Front World War II) and religious history and you've got my basic reading list.

Movies:

Individual favorites would include Salò: The 120 Days of Sodom, Come And See, Ichi the Killer, Akira, Lucifer Rising, El Topo, Only God Forgives, Irreversible, the Guinea Pig series, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Videodrome, Phenomena, the Lone Wolf and Cub movies, Miller's Crossing, Eastern Condors, SPL, The Raid 1&2.

Favorite directors include Alejandro Jodorowsky, Kenneth Anger, Gaspar Noé, Nicholas Winding Refn, Werner Herzog, Dario Argento, Akira Kurasawa, Takashi Miike, Kiyoshi Kurasawa, John Woo, David Cronenberg, John Carpenter, the Coen brothers, Park Chan-Wook, Kinji Fukasaku, Shinya Tsukamoto.

Music:

A lot of death metal, black metal, grindcore, doom metal, industrial, noise, and some classical (particularly modern classical, lately).

Individual acts would include Slayer, Napalm Death, Carcass, Nile, Vader, Amon Amarth, Deicide, Cripple Bastards, Pig Destroyer, Agoraphobic Nosebleed, Cattle Decapitation, Mayhem, Darkthrone, Bathory, Watain, Behemoth, Sigh, Enslaved, Anaal Nathrakth, Sunn O))), Boris, Earth, St. Vitus, Pentagram, Church of Misery, Laibach, Skinny Puppy, Revolting Cocks, Godflesh, Nordvargr/MZ412, Brighter Death Now, Dissecting Table, NON/Boyd Rice, Whitehouse, Terrorfakt, Zeni Geva, Secret Chiefs 3, Naked City/John Zorn, Beethoven, Sibelius, Shostakovich, Philip Glass, and a lot of others I could list if I wasn't tired of typing just now.

Food:

Thai, Indian, and Mexican. Those three I could not live without. And sushi. Truthfully, though, I'll eat anything you put in front of me, And if by some chance I don't like it, I'll be willing to eat it again just to make sure.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
A good pocketknife, my mortuary school hoodie, my sketchbook, my drawing hand, spicy food, sex.

I always regard questions like this as a list of things you would PREFER to always have available or with you, since you can live without just about anything, including most of your limbs. Should my personal library and CD/DVD/art collection be lost in a fire, I could certainly live without it, and even eventually replace most of it, but it would be really annoying. It's hard to be a collector and maintain that Zen detachment from material things at the same time.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
War, mass murder, future art projects/comic strips, the amazing historical bromance between Grant & Sherman, creating a fake religion, anal sex with fat chicks.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I usually have to work weekends (death does not keep regular hours, sadly), so my Friday nights are pretty low-key. Maybe I go out to grab Thai food, or maybe I'm at home engaging in the "Netflix & pizza" combo. Maybe cleaning up my apartment, reading, or drawing. Exciting, I know.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I got a vasectomy at age 26. I'm one of 23 grandchildren (just on my mom's side of the family!), and that was more than enough to convince me that I never wanted to have children.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You like weird, nerdy spics with a morbid sense of humor. BBWs especially welcome.