Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy

mrsmitty2

26 Lexington, KY Man

Man

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18–27
  • Near me
  • For new friends

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 7:36pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Other
Height
5′ 7″ (1.70m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
Sometimes
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Judaism, and laughing about it
Sign
Scorpio, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from masters program
Job
Other
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Has dogs and dislikes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), French (Fluently), C++, Spanish (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I have to be honest, i'm pretty fucking awesome, i can hold my liquor pretty well if you want to drink, i can even be your designated driver *, i can nod incessantly for hours without saying a single word if you're looking for comfort, i drink coffee, you can rent me for a date, i can pretend to like you, parents love me. Taller women please do not feel intimidated by my height, one thing i promise if you are ever with me, i'd never look down on you. * Tall girls, i have no problem going down on you, since in any case I have to go up.

We live, as I hope you know, in an age of ideals. The fact is constantly mentioned in the more expensive monthly magazines, and has reached the provincial pulpits, I am told.

I am a dynamic figure. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don’t perspire. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes.

Since my early days, I have had the need, the urgence, to immediately pick up all that I might have dropped, absolutely everything, and if i do not do it, a calamity will happen, not to me but to someone I love whose name starts with the first letter of the object that i have dropped. The problem is that nothing stops me in these circunstances and no other person besides me can pick up the forementioned object because the maléfice will be accomplished regardless. A compulsion that has costed me plenty of times my reputation and that has made me pass as a madman and the truth is that I am when these episodes arrive; when i precipitate meself to pick up a piece of paper or a crayon that has escaped from my hands, like that afternoon with the sugarcube in that restaurant in the street Scribe, a restaurant for the filthy rich with the businessmen lot and the whores with the fox fur scarfs.

I was with Ronald and Étienne when I inadvertently dropped a little sugarcube that flew across the room only to land under a table that was far enough away from ours. That which immediately struck me the most was the way the sugarcube had paraded across the room, because sugarcubes in general stop themselves as soon as they touch the ground because of self-evident parallelepipoidical reasons. But this sugarcube conducted itself as if it were a naphtaline ball, a fact that did nothing but augment the fears within me and that had drove me to the sole conclusion that it could have only been taken away from my hands by some unnatural force. Ronald, who knew me best, looked at the hidden spot where my little sugarcube had just landed and burst into laughter, fact that drove me into anger and released all the fear within. When the waiter approched me, thinking that I might have dropped a precious object, a parker or denture, but because he did nothing but bother me I threw myself on all four without asking anything from him and I started the long and hard pursuit of my sugarcube hidden among the feet of people, whom were persuaded (not without fair reason) that the object in question was of great value and importance. In that table, there was a fat redhead and another one not any less fat but equally whorish and two businessmen or something like that. At once, I realised that the sugarcube was not anywhere to be seen in the vinicity but I had, nonetheless, seen it jump in the direction where the shoes, that at the present moment moved feverishly in a chicken-like fashion. To top it all, there was thick carpet, rather disgusting, where the piece of sugar must have been hiding itself under its furs leaving me with no other options in my pursuit. The waiter threw himself on all fours too at the other side of the table, and there we were two quadrupeds among the chicken-shoes that had commenced upstairs to cackle like crazy. The waiter kept watching over the parker or the louis d'or, and only once we were,he and I, fully committed to the pursuit under the table, slipped into a rather dark and intimate moment where he asked me for the nature of the object in our quest and I answered him, only to find him doing one of those faces that could have ended with his head exploding in a burst of brillantine but I had not the slightest desire to laugh, fear had gotten the best of me and at the end I was taken by despair (the waiter had stood up, angry) and I grabbed the lady shoes to see if the sugar hadn't adhered itself under the arc of their shoe soles, while the chicken cackled madly, the cock-businessmen riddled my back by pecking me incessantly. Meanwhile, I heard Ronald's and Étienne's bursts of laughter while I went from one table to the next only to find the little sugarcube hidden under the foot of a second empire. Everybody there was furious and I was too, holding my little sugarcube that melted in the palm of my hand and that had mixed with my sweat in a repugnant fashion in a sort of poisseuse vengeance, trivial and daily phenomena.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
J’ai l’habitude, depuis l’enfance, de ramasser immédiatement tout ce que je peux laisser tomber, absolument tout, et si je ne le fais pas, un malheur arrivera, non pas à moi mais à quelqu’un que j’aime et dont le nom commence par la première lettre de l’objettombé. L’ennui c’est que rien ne m’arrête en pareille circonstance et personne d’autre que moi ne peut ramasser l’objet car le maléfice s’accomplirait pareillement. Manie qui m’a valu plusieurs fois de passer pour un fou mais en vérité je suis fouquand cela m’arrive, quand je me précipite pour ramasser unmorceau de papier ou un crayon qui m’ont échappé des mains,comme le soir du morceau de sucre dans ce restaurant de la rue Scribe, un restaurant rupin avec des tas d’hommes d’affaires et de putains à renards argentés, sans compter les couples bien établis. J’étais avec Ronald et Étienne, et j’ai laissé tomber par mégarde un morceau de sucre qui est allé atterrir sous une table assez loin de la nôtre. Ce qui m’a tout de suite frappé, c’est lafaçon dont s’était défilé ce morceau de sucre car les morceaux de sucre en général s’arrêtent à peine touché le sol pour des raisons parallélépipédiques évidentes. Mais celui-là se conduisait comme s’il eût été une boule de naphtaline, ce qui ne fit qu’augmenter mes craintes, et j’en vins à croire qu’on me l’avait véritablement arraché des mains. Ronald, qui me connaît, regarda le coin où il était allé échouer et éclata de rire. Ce qui memit en colère et décupla ma peur. Un garçon s’approcha, pen-sant que j’avais laissé tomber un objet précieux, un Parker ouun dentier, mais comme il me gênait plus qu’autre chose, je mesuis jeté à quatre pattes sans rien lui demander et je me suislancé à la poursuite du morceau de sucre entre les pieds desgens, persuadés (non sans raison) qu’il s’agissait d’une chose importante. À cette table-là, il y avait une grosse rousse, une autre moins grosse mais tout aussi putain et deux hommesd’affaires ou quelque chose comme ça. Je constatai tout de suiteque le morceau de sucre n’était pas dans les parages et pourtant je l’avais bien vu sauter en direction de ces souliers qui, à pré-sent, s’agitaient fébrilement comme des poules. Pour comble demalheur, il y avait par terre un épais tapis, dégoûtant d’ailleurs,le morceau de sucre avait dû se cacher entre les poils, rien àfaire pour le retrouver. Le garçon se mit lui aussi à quatre pattesde l’autre côté de la table et nous étions deux quadrupèdes parmi les souliers-poules qui là-haut commençaient à caqueter comme des folles. Le garçon en tenait toujours pour son Parkerou son louis d’or et quand nous avons été bien engagés sous latable, lui et moi, dans une sorte de pénombre et de grande inti-mité, il m’a questionné et je lui ai répondu, il a fait alors une deces têtes, de quoi le vaporiser entièrement de gomina, mais jen’avais pas envie de rire, la peur me tenaillait l’estomac et à lafin, même, j’ai été saisi d’un véritable désespoir (le garçon s’était relevé, furieux) et j’ai empoigné les chaussures des femmes pour voir si le sucre ne se serait pas blotti sous l’arc de la semelle, les poules caquetaient éperdument, les coqs-hommes d’affaires mecriblaient le dos de coups de bec, j’entendais les éclats de rire de Ronald et d’Étienne tandis que je passais d’une table à l’autrepour finalement retrouver le morceau de sucre caché derrièreun pied second Empire. Tout le monde était furieux et moi aussiavec mon morceau de sucre qui se mettait à fondre dans mamain et se mêlait à ma sueur de façon répugnante en une espècede vengeance poisseuse, phénomène banal et quotidien.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Looking for that ounce of excitement, that whisper of a thrill. I want to get swept away. I want to levitate. Sing with rapture and dance like a swirling dervish. Be deliriously happy or at least leave meself open to be.

The truth is, there’s no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love, well, you haven’t lived a life at all. But you have to try, because if you haven’t tried you haven’t lived.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

Seducing women with my trombone sensuous-like playing. I don't play accurately-any one can play accurately- but I play with wonderful expression. As far as the trombone is concerned, sentiment is my forte. I keep science for Life.

----------------------------------------------------
français:

-Le quoi, le pourquoi et le comment.
-Perdre mon temps sur l'internet
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
When I eat brocolli I pretend i am a big dinosaur eating a tree.

At the supermarket, whenever I see an old lady I imagine what would happen if I make her trip and make it look like an accident. The same happens to me with little children. I mean them no harm but I just wonder what if?

When a person in a film is drowning, i immediately start holding my breath to see if i can last longer than the person in the film.

Sometimes I start doing things with only one hand in case I lose one of my hands in an accident.

Sometimes when i hit myself with an inanimate object, I hit it and yell at it for as long as it takes for me to think it got what it deserves.

When I'm at queue in the bank, I daydream about possible bank robbery scenarios taking place and think of the thousand ways I could stop the criminals and at the same time keep the money.

I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami.

My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles.

I breed prizewinning clams.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Hodor hodor hodor hodor hodor hodor hodor hodor hodor
-Hodor, Game of Thrones

Food: all of it, except bananas, can't trust phallic shaped food.

Movies: Vanilla sky
Jules et jim (who hasn't thought of a love triangle among friends?)
le dérnier metro
Casablanca (only possible scenario where you can say here's looking at you kid, without looking like perv.)
Back to the Future

Books:
Hopscotch by Julio Cortazar
The count of monte cristo by Alexandre Dumas
Any Jules Vernes
Les miserables by victor hugo
Candide by voltaire
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1- Coffee (although due to stress and over work I developed for quite some time now a condition where I cannot drink it without suffering stomach aches, I still drink though.)
2- Interwebz - because we no longer live in the stone age.
3- memes, why explain your humor with words when you can find a pictorical representation.
4- tweeting mean comments or in any other social media thing to people, why? because i hate people being overly sensitive about everything ugh, it should be number one but people would judge me, I know.
5- Disgusting Maruchan soup noodle thing, they are disgusting but they've been there in my most difficult times, so I let them tag along.
6- Cookies
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
-The meaning of life of course and how to solve the crossword puzzles in the back of the cereal box.
-Why are there so many stupid drivers in the street every time I decide to go out.
-Sometimes when I'm thinking of something bad about someone i immediately think of something else before they can hear my thoughts.

-When peeing in public bathrooms I immediately start searching the ceilings and air vents for cameras.

- When i loose a strand of hair in the street and I throw it away, I begin imagining possible scenarios where a murder takes place and my stranded hair is found and analyzed for DNA purposes and it places me in the scene of the crime.

-To be natural is such a very difficult pose to keep up.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Drowning me sorrows in alcohol
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail.
Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down.
I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you're fun, I don't like boring people.

Date: "Must you fall asleep while I'm speaking?"
me: "No, it's purely voluntary."

I like persons better than principles, and I like persons with no principles better than anything else in the world.

If you have a nose ring, i am a sucker for nose rings.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you have been persuaded, like I have, that a fortuitous encounter is the least coincidental thing in our life and that people that set encounters at a precise date and time are those that need ruled paper to write on and that press on their toothpaste from the bottom.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Si tu es persuadée comme moi qu’une rencontre fortuite est ce qu’il y a de moins fortuit dans nos vies et que les gens qui se donnent des rendez-vous précis sont ceux qui écrivent sur du papier rayé et pressent leur tube de dentifrice par le fond
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You're now approaching the end of my okcupid profile, mind the gap.

Add a photo to:

Stay fresh with Instagram

Are you sure you want to delete this album?

Where's your photo?

Drop it like it’s hot

Photos must be at least 400 x 400px
Edit thumbnail
Add a caption

You look fantastic!