Issuing supreme power to you...one moment.

My self-summary Propose an edit

Well, since this is mandatory...the only reason I'm here is to spy on you.

I'm not telling you anything. Heh, nanny, nanny, boo-boo.

You don't care, anyway. If you DO care, you'll ask. And you know what? I'll TELL you, so there.

*wink*

Having said that, I guess I will elaborate a bit. Mostly, I'm here for the quizzes. I have a day job which requires very little of me so I'm free to spend hours taking pointless and goofy quizzes here.

But this is supposed to be a self-summary and not a "my job is meaningless" rant, so on with the pompous task of describing myself.

You know, a lot of people talk about being perfect. As a perfect person myself, I can tell you firsthand that being perfect is not all it's cracked up to be.

Quite honestly, it's lonely as hell. Let me clarify here, however. I don't have a problem with being alone; I rather like it, actually. What I'm saying is that finding Mr. Right is a challenge. Even though I am perfect, some men are easily intimidated by the idea of being involved with a mother. Further, as a mother, I'm pretty picky and I keep my standards very high. My time is far too valuable. I'd rather just hang out with my awesome kids.

Speaking of them, I'm not looking for a man to raise my kids; I went that route a few times and each time it ended less than favorably. I do NOT want to live with another man for as long as I am raising my children. I reiterate: I do NOT want a man to help me raise my kids. I do NOT want to raise his. My children do not need another "temporary" daddy and I have three children of my own and have no desire to be the Wicked Stepmother to someone else's children. (This does not mean that if you are a father, you shouldn't contact me. I'm open to dating parents; I just don't want to be part of The Brady Bunch.)

At this point, I'm just looking to go out to do fun things, i.e. watch games, see shows, have dinner, bowl, play minigolf, go fishing, etc. I am NOT NOT NOT looking for marriage or even a happily ever after. I am also NOT looking for some guy that thinks taking me out to dinner twice equals a blowjob. Sorry.

I am available for fun social excursions. If we enjoy each other's company for a longer period of time and decide physical intimacy is appealing, so be it. That will happen when it needs to, not an hour after we meet.

DISCLAIMER: ALL my dates come with a money back guarantee. You WILL have fun if we go out. Life is too short not to have fun; I don't care if you're a balding, toothless, paunchy, midget pegleg hemophiliac with one eye. I assure you I'm not going to sit there with a scowl on my face, checking my watch every ten minutes. HOWEVER, just because it was fun does NOT mean I will go out with you AGAIN. If, for one reason or another, you really, truly did not have fun in my company, I will refund every penny you spent on me. Be aware that no one has EVER cashed in on this.

What I'm doing with my life Propose an edit

I'm enjoying raising kids (I am owned by three), getting involved in local politics, club dancing, playing with my new, darling lil' kitty, going to school and taking in an occasional film. Speaking of film, I also involve myself as often as I can in local theater. My last show was similar in style to the Vagina Monologues but the focus was on women's birth stories.

Acting is an absolute passion of mine. Unfortunately, acting does require a tremendous time commitment and my children always come first. To that end, I don't act nearly as much as I'd like.

I'm really good at Propose an edit

listening...and giving excellent advice, when asked. Being silly. Not changing who I am because of what others say or do. Self evaluation. Laughing often and with ease. Entertaining guests. Breaking the ice. Teaching. Seeing into your soul in a way that most people find creepy.

The first thing(s) people usually notice about me Propose an edit

People have said: my eyes, my hair, my mouth...and that I'm "boisterous." I think that means loud. Maybe they notice I'm short. Dunno. Why are YOU looking here?

My favorite books, movies, music, and food Propose an edit

Oh, seriously. I have too many favorites in virtually every category to narrow it down to just a few. Here's a weak attempt...

Books: The Kin Of Ata Are Waiting For You, Ender's Shadow, Old Turtle & The Broken Truth, Crooked Little Vein

Movies: Dangerous Liaisons, Breakfast Club, What Dreams May Come, Fight Club, Othello, Natural Born Killers, Steel Magnolias, Indiana Jones, Rocky, The Color Purple

Music: Hip Hop, Classic Rock, Top 40

Food: Italian, Chinese, African

Does that give you a clearer picture of me? Probably not. I think it may make me look stranger. In fact, I rather hope it does.

The six things I could never do without Propose an edit

Ugh...these types of questions irk me, but here goes:

• My family, i.e. kids, kitty
  
• My music collection
  
• My technology, i.e. cellphone and computer
  
• My books
  
• My friends
  
• Trust and communication. Seriously. From everyone with whom I interact. Any relationship is meaningless without them.
  

Really, after typing this, I realize I'm still a bit off. I often fantasize about living in a cabin in the woods or off on a beach somewhere with no cell phone, no computer and no answering machine. I don't even like getting mail.

Let me make another list - more of a "dream list", really:

• My family, i.e. kids, kitty
  
• Trust and communication. You know why already.
  
• My music collection (and something to play it on)
  
• my excellent health
  
• My books
  
• My friends
  

And still, I find this list to be somewhat off. What if I got very sick? I would then be "doing", only, I wouldn't have my health. What if I went blind or deaf? Books and music would be somewhat useless.

What can I genuinely not live without (excluding, of course, basic life necessities like food)? Only one thing. My children. If music were illegal, and books were all burned, if computers and cell phones suddenly cost hundreds of thousands and all my friends abandoned me because I wasn't cool enough to buy a four hundred thousand dollar iPod, I'd still be fine as long as I had my kids. I guess in order for me to have six things I could never do without, I need to have three more kids.

JUST KIDDING. I do NOT want more kids.

I spend a lot of time thinking about Propose an edit

The future. Specifically, mine and that of my children and the world they will inherit. How to be a better me.

I also think about the meaning of life. Seriously. Like, what is a soul? What is it made of? Who has one? Is the reason many of us suck because we have smaller souls now that there are so many people here? What are ghosts? Why can't I teleport? If you fart and I smell it, did I just snort a tiny bit of poop?

And if you've read this far, why you didn't leave a comment.

On a typical Friday night I am Propose an edit

watching stand-up comedy on Comedy Central. Or getting ready to go shake my tail feathers (when I have a sitter). But usually watching comedy. I love to laugh.

The most private thing I'm willing to admit here Propose an edit

I have a foot thing. My toes always have to be neatly polished and pretty if I know they'll be visible and, for the most part, guy feet creep me out. Unless we're near a body of water, I really don't want to see a man in sandals.

Ew.

Also, you should know: if your profile says either "you like children but don't want any" or "you dislike children," I will NOT contact you. I understand some folks are not into kids and I'm totally OK with that, but as a mom of three I am TOTALLY into kids (at least, my three) and would never want to burden someone who's not into them with them. Ya? Okie.

You should message me if Propose an edit

if you are UNDER 42. IF you are over 42 and you message me, you should either be stunningly attractive OR mindbogglingly wealthy with a weak heart. Also, you should message me only if you don't expect anything. And if you have an IQ over 7. And please don't message me with stupidly juvenile sex comments. I find them ridiculous. I'm not a big fan of that goofy net.speak, either. You should message me if you have an excellent command of written English.

When did the rules of grammar get dismissed? A message should have an address, a body and a closure. For example:

BAD:

U r da hawt. Do u hav aim? i'm loserwhowanks69 - snd me a massage sumtim@!

GOOD:

Msbutterpecan,

You are a potato head. I am shredded cheese. Would you care to discuss this over a glass of mead at some convenient point of time in the near future?

Warmly, Chip Muncher

Anyway....think on it.

Tests She's Taken View all

Title	Her Result - female	Your Result
Title	Her Result - female	Your Result
The Five Elemental Archetypes Test	Metal OR Unclear	Take it!
Is Your Boss Evil?	Lackey (EI)	Take it!
The French Expressions Test	Francophile	Take it!
The Excessive Cuteness Tolerance Test	Cute-Indifferent	Take it!
The Internet SMS Literacy Test	Wily Writer	Take it!