Rather than woo you with words, I'm going to lay out the random facts. However, wooing is available upon request.

*In high school I was voted most likely to be a standup comedian. That didn't happen.
*I have a geek job in a geek industry and there are geeks everywhere, but I'm not one of them.
*Some of the short fiction stories I've written have been published in small press. Most of them weren't, for good reason.
*Jesus was my personal savior until some bad things happened and I did a lot of critical thinking which lead me to a frightening personal journey that finally ended with me giving up on imaginary friends and focusing on reality.
*After seeing Top Gun for the first time I wanted to be a fighter pilot. Cut to 26 years later and I don't like to fly, I'm fully aware of the military-industrial complex war machine, and I've realized I'm not a cocky competitive douchebag in to volleyball. However, I am still trying to write checks my body can't cash.
*Having been married and divorced I'm quite jaded about the romantic idealism surrounding the entire institution.
*As a boy I always wanted to be surrounded by girls; given that my two daughters are with me most of the time I sometimes wonder if I should've been more specific in my childhood requests.
*For some reason, teaching myself guitar didn't result in me becoming the next Hendrix.

Living the dream, baby. Seriously, if I actually meant that I'd have to hurt myself. In reality I'm starting fresh with a new move to West Seattle where I'm looking forward to making our new home comfy, meeting new friends, helping my daughters ease into a new routine, and enjoying that I no longer live in the culture-less, conservative, and variety-free eastside.

*Completing people's sentences.
*Trivia
*Talking to myself
*Quick verbal responses
*Imagining things that go bump in my night
*Impressing people with my guitar skills for the first minute of a song, then letting them down as I royally screw up the remaining minutes
*Beat-boxing

"Dude, how tall are you?"

*Chuck Palahniuk, Richard Price, Ray Bradbury, Don Delilo, Graham Greene, Joyce Carol Oates, Clive Barker and more
*Beastie Boys, Bloc Party, Boards of Canada, CCR, Crowded House, Cypress Hill, Depeche Mode, Eazy-E, Elliot Smith, Explosions in the Sky, Foals, Interpol, LCD Soundsystem, NWA, Portishead, Primus, Prince, Radiohead, Red House Painters, Spank Rock, SDRE, Theesatisfaction, Trentmoller, We Were Promised Jetpacks, etc., etc.
*Arrested Development, Parks & Recreation, Peep Show, Party Down, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Always Sunny, Miami Vice, more
*Stanley Kubrick, Wes Anderson, Tarantino, The Coens, tons more

How I spend a lot of time thinking and that maybe ignorance is really bliss and it would be better if I was an idiot because then I wouldn't worry so much or be concerned about the future or my kids or my health or my loved ones or my legacy or whether or not I should really be wearing that shirt with those shoes.

Diggin the scene with a gangster lean.

Is it me or is this a dumb question? Message me if you want to message me. I'm not going to be all, 'Don't message me if you don't meet every requirement in my picky little brain.'