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muffin613

29 Colchester, VT Cis Woman

Cis Woman

You might like

I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 24–38
  • Near me
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
May 13
Orientation
Heteroflexible
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 7″ (1.70m)
Body type
Curvy
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Other, but not too serious about it
Sign
Gemini, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Politics / Government
Income
Rather not say
Status
Open relationship
Type
Strictly non-monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Has cats
Speaks
English
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Ready for a novel...

First off, I am polyamorous/ethically non-monogamous/whatever. No, I am not into flamingos despite what the media would like to have you think about polyamorous people. I'm also into kink. It's a significant part of who I am and what I like. ***Please note, I have little to no interest in getting involved with people who don't know about poly. It usually ends badly.*** Just because I am poly and kinky that doesn't mean I am looking to just hook up/do the nsa thing. It's just not really my thing. Please and thank you. I am a very sexual person but I value interpersonal relationships and that's what I am primarily here for. RELATIONSHIPS, not fucking. I am a hopeless romantic. Not gonna lie I'm pretty discouraged with what I've encountered so far. I do/will have multiple relationships and am okay with you having them too. If that bothers you, move along.

If you ask me what I value most in a relationship here is what I'm likely to say: honesty, accessibility, and respect.

ISFJ if you're interested in those kinds of things.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Visiting your profile and not messaging you.

I work full time during the day as an office slave and teach and perform belly dance and burlesque. I spend a lot of my free time dancing, teaching and working on choreography and costumes. I am pretty busy and my schedule sucks but I make time for the people important to me and for fun of course.

I enjoy being outdoors but I don't like extreme heat/humidity or cold. I enjoy camping, hiking, kayaking, snowshoeing, etc. I haven't had a lot of time the past couple years to do any of it so I'm admittedly a bit out of shape (love of food + dancing and sex is my only exercise = I embrace my curves). I don't ski anymore though I used to. And I would love someone to get me back into yoga. I also really enjoy a good night in. Board games, hanging out watching a movie, cooking dinner, cuddling, struggle snuggles (yes this is a thing) blah blah blah. I love good food so dinner dates are a huge plus!
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Being honest and snarky and bratty and feisty and just an overall sarcastic wiseass. I tell it like it is, sometimes brutally. I can be a massive bitch sometimes, sorry, just being honest. Oh and I'm really good at swearing. I swear like a motherfucker. All the fucking time. If you have a problem with women being crass, we're not going to get along. Oh! And I'm really good at being impatient. Like, a pro.

I like to think I'm good at cooking and baking. I haven't poisoned anyone yet.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Shouldn't other people answer this? I guess my hair. Except when my roots are showing. Well, I guess they would notice that too. oops. Surprise! I'm not a natural redhead. Sorry peeps. The red suits my personality better but I'm a lazy fucker. People also usually notice my tattoos. And my rack. I get a lot of comments about that...perverts.

Ummm...I usually have stray glitter in random places.

I also have a pretty strong personality once I get past being shy around someone. Or I have a drink or two. I wear my heart on my sleeve most of the time too a.k.a. I'm an emotional wreck.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I enjoy fantasy novels when I have time to read. Yes, I'm a dork. The Lord of the Rings, The Wheel of Time, Shannara, Song of Ice & Fire, The Sword of Truth...Always looking for recommendations!

I'll pretty much watch any movie genre. Horror, adventure, epic fantasy, and romantic comedies (yeah, I'm a chick) are my favorite. I really love horror. I'm also shamefully addicted to TV. Grey's Anatomy, Breaking Bad, Orange is the New Black, Walking Dead, Firefly, Doctor Who, Archer etc...

My music taste is pretty eclectic. I can more easily tell you what I don't like: jam bands, reggae, also not a big fan of most rap or country music or jazz though I can make exceptions (if it's danceable, it wins). For sexy times I really like trip-hop. Heavy tribal drums also get me going. I'm a big fan of middle eastern, Celtic, industrial, electro-swing... give me a doumbek, an accordian, or a bagpipe and I'm usually happy.

And don't get me started on food...I love food. Cooking it and eating it. I tried to eat vegan and gluten-free for health reasons for a while. It was fun and challenging to find substitutions for my favorite foods and I'll probably pick it back up again eventually because I felt a million times better. (UPDATE: I said this like 2 years ago and it still hasn't happened...)
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Dancing, music, meaningful connections, the internet, sex, food. In reality I probably could survive without these things but it would be depressing to say the least.

I'd probably really never survive without potatoes (it's the Irish) which interestingly enough you can survive on.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How I am often in a state of undress (burlesque I swear!)

I also seem to spend a lot of time thinking about how to get others out of thinking about monogamy as the one twue way. I mean if it works for them great! But don't tell me what I'm doing is wrong.

I am also greatly amused at the number of boys who can't seem to handle rejection and hurl insults once I say I'm not interested or when I don't appreciate their opening lines. One minute I am sexy and the next I'm trash...ha! Boys, I hate to tell you but it is easy for a woman to find dick. Try being a decent human being and you might find that she'll get all up on yours.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Dancing, performing, out and about or at home binging on Netflix.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm really fucking selfish and I like to get my way. Sorry. and I'm needy (I can be honest about myself too), completely unhinged, mentally unstable, and sexually deviant. :P Daddy issues...

I come with a lot of toys if you know what I mean and if you don't well, I'm probably not interested.

My house is a goddamn disaster. I'm not ashamed. Okay, maybe a little...
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're hot and rich....

If you genuinely want to date me and will not cast me aside when you find someone else you may want to commit to or settle down with. I'm not into that fake "sure, I'm poly" bs just because you want to fuck me. I'm looking for someone who understands that I can have other relationships and relationships that can grow! And here comes the shocker...you can too! Just be honest and open with me. And understand that I don't just want to fuck.

I also expect more substance in your first message than a "Hey" and/or "You're hot." You probably think I'm relatively good looking anyway if you're messaging me in the first place. Those messages get old quick. Put a bit of effort into it and make it at least seem like you read my profile and are interested in me for more than sex. AND HOLY FUCK USE PROPER GRAMMAR AND SPELL OUT THE DAMN WORDS! I abhor text speak even when texting. I'll forgive a few errors but please for the love of all that is good in this world put in some effort.

I'm not really "420 friendly." Like at all. I don't like it, I don't like being around it, I don't really like my partners using it. That's just how I roll. Being straightedge for most of my life probably has something to do with that and also just despising the smell of it. Yes, now I do enjoy the occasional cigar and cocktail or craft brew but I'm still hung-up on this one. Sorry.

An additional caveat or two...if you don't live near me (within a 30 min drive or so) kindly don't waste my time or yours. I am not looking to just chat or cam or do the long distance thing or hook up! I do like to be able to call someone up and do something spontaneously and not have to plan way in advance for *everything*.

Holy fuck this got long...