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muffin613

29 F Colchester, VT

My Details

Last Online
Today – 8:36am
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 7″ (1.70m)
Body Type
Curvy
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Other, but not too serious about it
Sign
Gemini, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Politics / Government
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Married
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Has cats
Speaks
English

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My self-summary
Ready for a novel...

First off, I am married (to this guy: VTtwistedKilt). We're polyamorous/ethically non-monogamous/whatever. I'm a big fan of Relationship Anarchy. You'll meet him at some point if we hit it off, he's pretty cool. I'm also into kink. It's a significant part of who I am and what I like. Yes I'm on FL. ***Please note, I have little to no interest in getting involved with people who don't know about poly. It usually ends badly.*** <----Seriously how do I make this shit bold? And just because I am poly and kinky that doesn't mean I am looking to hook up/do the nsa or fwb thing. Please and thank you. I am a very sexual person but I value interpersonal relationships and that's what I am primarily here for. I am a hopeless romantic.

If you ask me what I value most in a relationship here is what I'm likely to say: honesty, accessibility, and respect.

ISFJ if you're interested in those kinds of things.
What I’m doing with my life
I work full time during the day as an office slave and own a dance studio. I spend a lot of my free time dancing (belly dance and burlesque) and teaching and working on choreography and costumes. Don't be a perv and ask me for a private show, it won't happen. And I'm constantly updating this profile to make myself sound cooler than I really am. I am pretty busy and my schedule sucks but I make time for the people important to me and for fun of course.

I enjoy being outdoors but I don't like extreme heat/humidity or cold. I enjoy camping, hiking, kayaking, snowshoeing, etc. I haven't had a lot of time the past couple years to do any of it so I'm admittedly a bit out of shape (love of food + dancing & sex is my only exercise = I embrace my curves). I don't ski anymore though I used to. And I would love someone to get me back into yoga. I also really enjoy a good night in. Board games, hanging out watching a movie, cooking dinner, cuddling, struggle snuggles (yes this is a thing) blah blah blah
I’m really good at
Falling for unavailable men and douchebags. Ha!

Being honest and snarky and bratty and just an overall sarcastic wiseass. I tell it like it is, sometimes brutally. I can be a massive bitch sometimes, sorry, just being honest. Oh and I'm really good at swearing. I swear like a motherfucker. All the fucking time. If you have a problem with women being crass, we're not going to get along. Oh! And I'm really good at being impatient. Like, a pro.

I like to think I'm good at cooking and baking. I haven't poisoned anyone yet.
The first things people usually notice about me
Shouldn't other people answer this? I guess my hair. Except when my roots are showing. Well, I guess they would notice that too. oops. And as of April I'm deciding to go back to my natural color. Surprise! I'm not a natural redhead. Sorry boys. The red suited my personality better but I'm a lazy fucker. Now I'll just be a silver(ish) fox. People also usually notice my tattoos. And my rack. I get a lot of comments about that...perverts.

I also have a pretty strong personality once I get past being shy around someone. Or I have a drink or two. I wear my heart on my sleeve most of the time too a.k.a. I'm an emotional wreck.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I enjoy fantasy novels when I have time to read. Yes, I'm a dork. The Lord of the Rings, The Wheel of Time, Shannara, Song of Ice & Fire, The Sword of Truth...Always looking for recommendations!

I'll pretty much watch any movie genre. Horror, adventure, epic fantasy, and romantic comedies (yeah, I'm a chick) are my favorite. I really love horror. Cheesy horror, psychological, torture porn, zombies give it all to me! I'm also shamefully addicted to TV. Grey's Anatomy, Breaking Bad, Orange is the New Black, Walking Dead, Firefly, Doctor Who, etc...

My music taste is pretty eclectic. I can more easily tell you what I don't like: jam bands, reggae, also not a big fan of most rap or country music or jazz though I can make exceptions (if it's danceable, it wins). For sexy times I really like trip-hop. Heavy tribal drums also get me going. I'm a big fan of middle eastern, Celtic, industrial, electro-swing... give me a doumbek, an accordian, or a bagpipe and I'm usually happy.

And don't get me started on food...I love food. Cooking it and eating it. I tried to eat vegan and gluten-free for health reasons for a while. It was fun and challenging to find substitutions for my favorite foods and I'll probably pick it back up again eventually because I felt a million times better.
The six things I could never do without
Dancing, music, meaningful connections, the internet, sex, chocolate. In reality I probably could survive without these things but it would be depressing to say the least.

I'd probably really never survive without potatoes which interestingly enough you can survive on.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How I am often in a state of undress (burlesque I swear!)

Why are all the cute, open-minded people in Quebec? What the fuck USA!?

I also seem to spend a lot of time thinking about how to get others out of thinking about monogamy as the one twue way. I mean if it works for them great! But don't tell me what I'm doing is wrong.
On a typical Friday night I am
Recently a friend dragged me out salsa dancing on a Friday night and now I'm hooked. So you'll find me doing that (Zen Lounge!) and making an ass outta myself because I 'm just learning how to salsa. If I'm not there, I'm likely performing somewhere or you're taking me out on a date.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm really fucking selfish and I like to get my way. Sorry. and I'm needy (I can be honest about myself too)

I come with a lot of toys if you know what I mean and if you don't well, I'm probably not interested.

I also seem to use winky smiley faces a lot. And I like My Little Pony. But not in a weird obsessive kinda way.

My house is a goddamn disaster. I'm not ashamed. Okay, maybe a little...
I’m looking for
  • Guys and girls who like bi girls
  • Ages 24–40
  • Near me
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You have a brain... but seriously if you genuinely want to date me and will not cast me aside when you find someone else you may want to commit to or settle down with. I'm not into that fake "sure, I'm poly" bs just because you want to fuck me. I'm looking for a genuine, open, and honest relationship. Someone who understands that, despite the fact that I'm married, I can have other relationships. And here comes the shocker...you can too! Just be honest and open with me.

I also expect more substance in your first message than a "Hey" and/or "You're hot." You probably think I'm relatively good looking anyway if you're messaging me in the first place. Those messages get old quick and I will not respond unless you are seriously good looking or your profile is incredibly interesting. Put a bit of effort into it and make it at least seem like you read my profile and are interested in me for more than sex. AND HOLY FUCK USE PROPER GRAMMAR AND SPELL OUT THE DAMN WORDS! I abhor text speak even when texting. I'll forgive a few errors but please for the love of all that is good in this world put in some effort.

I'm not really "420 friendly." Like at all. I don't like it, I don't like being around it, I don't like my partners using it. That's just how I roll. Being straightedge for most of my life probably has something to do with that. Yes, now I do enjoy the occasional cigar and cocktail or craft brew but I'm still hung-up on this one. Sorry.

An additional caveat or two...if you don't live near me (within a 30 min drive or so) kindly don't waste my time or yours. I am not looking to just chat or cam or do the long distance thing or hook up!

Fetishizing being with a married woman or disrespecting the relationship with my primary partner is a great way to assure you will never get in my pants. So is not having any pictures or anything else in your profile when you message me. I turn into a raging bitch real quick. Those messages get old quick too.

Holy fuck this got long...