Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Ready for a novel...
First off, I am polyamorous/ethically non-monogamous/whatever. No,
I am not into flamingos despite what the media would like to have
you think about polyamorous people. I'm also into kink. It's a
significant part of who I am and what I like. ***Please note, I
have little to no interest in getting involved with people who
don't know about poly. It usually ends badly.*** Just because I am
poly and kinky that doesn't mean I am looking to just hook up/do
the nsa thing. It's just not really my thing. Please and thank you.
I am a very sexual person but I value interpersonal relationships
and that's what I am primarily here for. RELATIONSHIPS, not
fucking. I am a hopeless romantic. Not gonna lie I'm pretty
discouraged with what I've encountered so far. I do/will have
multiple relationships and am okay with you having them too. If
that bothers you, move along.
If you ask me what I value most in a relationship here is what I'm
likely to say: honesty, accessibility, and respect.
ISFJ if you're interested in those kinds of things.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Visiting your profile and not messaging you.
I work full time during the day as an office slave and teach and
perform belly dance and burlesque. I spend a lot of my free time
dancing, teaching and working on choreography and costumes. I am
pretty busy and my schedule sucks but I make time for the people
important to me and for fun of course.
I enjoy being outdoors but I don't like extreme heat/humidity or
cold. I enjoy camping, hiking, kayaking, snowshoeing, etc. I
haven't had a lot of time the past couple years to do any of it so
I'm admittedly a bit out of shape (love of food + dancing and sex
is my only exercise = I embrace my curves). I don't ski anymore
though I used to. And I would love someone to get me back into
yoga. I also really enjoy a good night in. Board games, hanging out
watching a movie, cooking dinner, cuddling, struggle snuggles (yes
this is a thing) blah blah blah. I love good food so dinner dates
are a huge plus!
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Being honest and snarky and bratty and feisty and just an overall
sarcastic wiseass. I tell it like it is, sometimes brutally. I can
be a massive bitch sometimes, sorry, just being honest. Oh and I'm
really good at swearing. I swear like a motherfucker. All the
fucking time. If you have a problem with women being crass, we're
not going to get along. Oh! And I'm really good at being impatient.
Like, a pro.
I like to think I'm good at cooking and baking. I haven't poisoned
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Shouldn't other people answer this? I guess my hair. Except when my
roots are showing. Well, I guess they would notice that too. oops.
Surprise! I'm not a natural redhead. Sorry peeps. The red suits my
personality better but I'm a lazy fucker. People also usually
notice my tattoos. And my rack. I get a lot of comments about
Ummm...I usually have stray glitter in random places.
I also have a pretty strong personality once I get past being shy
around someone. Or I have a drink or two. I wear my heart on my
sleeve most of the time too a.k.a. I'm an emotional wreck.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I enjoy fantasy novels when I have time to read. Yes, I'm a dork.
The Lord of the Rings, The Wheel of Time, Shannara, Song of Ice
& Fire, The Sword of Truth...Always looking for
I'll pretty much watch any movie genre. Horror, adventure, epic
fantasy, and romantic comedies (yeah, I'm a chick) are my favorite.
I really love horror. I'm also shamefully addicted to TV. Grey's
Anatomy, Breaking Bad, Orange is the New Black, Walking Dead,
Firefly, Doctor Who, Archer etc...
My music taste is pretty eclectic. I can more easily tell you what
I don't like: jam bands, reggae, also not a big fan of most rap or
country music or jazz though I can make exceptions (if it's
danceable, it wins). For sexy times I really like trip-hop. Heavy
tribal drums also get me going. I'm a big fan of middle eastern,
Celtic, industrial, electro-swing... give me a doumbek, an
accordian, or a bagpipe and I'm usually happy.
And don't get me started on food...I love food. Cooking it and
eating it. I tried to eat vegan and gluten-free for health reasons
for a while. It was fun and challenging to find substitutions for
my favorite foods and I'll probably pick it back up again
eventually because I felt a million times better. (UPDATE: I said
this like 2 years ago and it still hasn't happened...)
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Dancing, music, meaningful connections, the internet, sex, food. In
reality I probably could survive without these things but it would
be depressing to say the least.
I'd probably really never survive without potatoes (it's the Irish)
which interestingly enough you can survive on.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How I am often in a state of undress (burlesque I swear!)
I also seem to spend a lot of time thinking about how to get others
out of thinking about monogamy as the one twue way. I mean if it
works for them great! But don't tell me what I'm doing is
I am also greatly amused at the number of boys who can't seem to
handle rejection and hurl insults once I say I'm not interested or
when I don't appreciate their opening lines. One minute I am sexy
and the next I'm trash...ha! Boys, I hate to tell you but it is
easy for a woman to find dick. Try being a decent human being and
you might find that she'll get all up on yours.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Dancing, performing, out and about or at home binging on Netflix.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm really fucking selfish and I like to get my way. Sorry. and I'm
needy (I can be honest about myself too), completely unhinged,
mentally unstable, and sexually deviant. :P Daddy issues...
I come with a lot of toys if you know what I mean and if you don't
well, I'm probably not interested.
My house is a goddamn disaster. I'm not ashamed. Okay, maybe a
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're hot and rich....
If you genuinely want to date me and will not cast me aside when
you find someone else you may want to commit to or settle down
with. I'm not into that fake "sure, I'm poly" bs just because you
want to fuck me. I'm looking for someone who understands that I can
have other relationships and relationships that can grow! And here
comes the shocker...you can too! Just be honest and open with me.
And understand that I don't just want to fuck.
I also expect more substance in your first message than a "Hey"
and/or "You're hot." You probably think I'm relatively good looking
anyway if you're messaging me in the first place. Those messages
get old quick. Put a bit of effort into it and make it at least
seem like you read my profile and are interested in me for more
than sex. AND HOLY FUCK USE PROPER GRAMMAR AND SPELL OUT THE DAMN
WORDS! I abhor text speak even when texting. I'll forgive a few
errors but please for the love of all that is good in this world
put in some effort.
I'm not really "420 friendly." Like at all. I don't like it, I
don't like being around it, I don't really like my partners using
it. That's just how I roll. Being straightedge for most of my life
probably has something to do with that and also just despising the
smell of it. Yes, now I do enjoy the occasional cigar and cocktail
or craft brew but I'm still hung-up on this one. Sorry.
An additional caveat or two...if you don't live near me (within a
30 min drive or so) kindly don't waste my time or yours. I am not
looking to just chat or cam or do the long distance thing or hook
up! I do like to be able to call someone up and do something
spontaneously and not have to plan way in advance for
Holy fuck this got long...
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