born beneath the Catskill mountains, fred is velvety smooth with exceptional virginity and a balanced ph.
i'm a jack of all trades and a master of none. some thoughts and some of my favorite things to do/are climbing, the colors green and purple, listening to music, art, traveling, figuring out how people's minds work. i play a little bit of bass and guitar but doesn't everyone these days. i want to get my my tongue split and do body suspensions. one day i want to be covered from head to toe in tattoos. i'm so simple, i'm complicated. i have in endless supply of useless knowledge. i also love cartoons and comic books. honestly i just like movies and books in general. when Armageddon comes, i'll have front row seats. in my world, i would be a superhero. boardgames are fun. i'm a self proclaimed gangster pirate ninja bunny. i would like to some day rule the world. i love monsters, especially zombies. I live for the moments I won't remember with the friends I'll never forget. i've been told i'm an anti-establishment, idealist. i think that love without sex is like buying a car without test driving it first. i will choke until i swallow. sometimes, i just want to put on a bunny suit and scream. i do math when i'm having sex. i think we should all have a tree to meditate on. i love old run down abandoned houses. chainsaws are fun. Holidays are over-rated. religion is like spirituality and politics had a bastard love child. I wish I could use the Jedi mind trick on people. coffee creamer is better than coffee. maybe if i smoke jesus, i can transcend death. just because i'm a straight guy doesn't mean i don't like to put on a dress and feel pretty too. i love playing with sharp things. the world is my play ground and god is dead. i know because he's in my trunk.
people i'd like to meet: gods, ninjas, kitties, pirates, saiyans, bettie paige, satan, cartoons, mike patton, beth gibbons, zombies, anything dead really, any kind of monsters, anton lavey, les claypool, dimebag darrell, danny carey, mila jovovichn, albert holmann and maybe you, if you ask nice
I am soft, chewy, and colorful