mustacheinabox
21 Jackson, NJ
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mustacheinabox
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My self-summary
he-fucking-llo, this is my O-god damn-K-shitting-Cupid pro-fucking-file. how do you do on this fine day, may I offer you a cup of tea?

so I feel like I rewrite this all the time & im constantly adding random crap. do people prefer to read long profiles or short profiles?! :0 I kinda like both.

anyway.

I'm Brittany, you can call me later.

that was gross.

I'll go the distance for a chuckle, I love when people smile. it's really cute.

uh, INFJ, and a Leo, I like to think deeply about things and my quest for knowledge is neverending, also I love to hear people talk & I'm a dedicated son of a mama

I'm pretty much who I used to make fun of I'm high school. am a giant weeb. I don't even care at this point, I'M LIVIN THE DREAM!!!!!! surrounded by rilakkumas and kpop albums!! fuck!!!!

(I swear incessantly in conversation I am* sorry)

honestly would just love a guy friend to discuss life's up & downs with/nerd out in excessive amounts to, I've met a couple good beans on here but haven't encountered a gem in awhile. restore my faith in the sweet serendipity of online dating sites :(

discuss with me the difference between genuinely being a boring individual, and just not having chemistry with whomever you're chatting with 😇

*absolutely fucking not
What I’m doing with my life
I'm figuring shit out as I go. right now my top priorities are getting my driver's license, getting back to school, fighting evil by moonlight, and winning love by daylight. and working at Ulta for the time being. :)
I’m really good at
bad puns, narrating the lives of my pets, laughing at fart noises, fuckin' writing the longest profile ever, making weird snapchats, Mario Kart (psych, I'm awful), crochet, sudoku, making paths in animal crossing, baking, resisting the urge to spellcheck everyone's profile on here, eating gummy worms, making disturbing sound effects and speaking in unidentifiable accents, building obscene things in minecraft, and snuggling with my dog despite how stinky he is (super stinky)
The first things people usually notice about me
oh, my, god, Becky. look at her--just kidding. probably that I am a bespectacled white girl avoiding all eye contact with anyone remotely attractive and/or of the male persuasion, because I'm just totally awkward like that (and I blush super easily)

the old ladies at my job tell me I have nice skin and I'm adorable so I guess I'd make a pretty good leather guitar case someday
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
can I replace books with video games? I'm a big Nintendo nerd. Pokemon, Mario, Animal Crossing, Super Smash. Playstation wise: Lollipop Chainsaw, Diablo III, Ni No Kuni, Katamari Damacy, Bayonetta, etc etc~~ I used to play Smite a lot but I haven't in a LOOONG time. Hearthstone too. not MLG but u know fun stuff fun stuff. also, motherfucking Undertale. and, neko atsume.

movies: all Studio Ghibli films, The Room, Se7en, Moulin Rouge,, Mary & Max, Sunshine, The Dark Knight, Her, Step Brothers, Sex Drive, Lo, Kick-Ass, Cabin in the Woods, Big Fish, Beetlejuice, and tons more. way more into music than movies though.

TV: Dexter, Game of Thrones, Kingdom Hospital, Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead, Regular Show, Adventure Time, Catfish, Grey's Anatomy, Chicago Fire, Archer, American Horror Story, RuPaul's Drag Race, Weekly Idol, Justified, Castle, The Mighty Boosh, some sporadic anime, The Whitest Kids U'Know, Sons of Anarchy. my best friend has gotten me addicted to both Dr. Phil, and Bridezillas. bitch. I watch Dr. Oz of my own free will though, I love that man.

music: anything from Interpol, Incubus, Walk The Moon, Nine Inch Nails, Lemaitre, Fenech-Soler, Brand New, MSI, Explosions in the Sky, FEMM, Royal Pirates, Kyary Pamyu Pamyu, Foxy Shazam, Amanda Palmer, Fall Out Boy, Block B, BTS, SHINee, Winner, VIXX, Smashing Pumpkins, Radiohead, Manchester Orchestra, EXO, BigBang, 2ne1, Bloodhound Gang, Mickey Avalon, Placebo, DMX, Bloc Party, Andrew WK, Zion.T, Beenzino, Anamanaguchi, MFBTY, Beastie Boys, Biffy Clyro, Say Anything, to many in between. blahblahblah.

I listen to a lot of music, I'm very open minded and I won't say I hate something unless I've heard it before. I'm a recovering hipster and as treatment I listen to EVERYTHING! every genre. I suck it all up. I love it. my obsession as of late is Korean idol groups and khiphop. like holy shit I'm addicted it's greattttt
The six things I could never do without
Charisma
Uniqueness
Nerve
Talent
expletives
nail polish
I spend a lot of time thinking about
why you should date me:

1. no one will try and steal me from you
2. sometimes I’m funny
3. other things

also, outer space, oatmeal, and the Addams family. Morticia seeking Gomez tbh. cara mía
On a typical Friday night I am
on a friday night? I'm being taken out. you wear cologne to get the feeling right. we start making out, and I take off our pants, but then you turn on the TV. this is about the time I walk awaaaaay from youuuuu.

no but really, on Friday nights I'm either at home, with my dogs, watching this week's Minecraft lets play (I'm kinda an achievement hunter addict, I stalk the uploads), or at work. I don't have a set schedule for my life. I kiiiinda like it that way.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
☆I like sending mail, and having penpals. if I get to know you well enough I'll send you some cute shit :^)
☆uh... I wanna hug a seal? like really bad?! they're my favorite animal ;u;
☆I might sass you occasionally probably
You should message me if
-oh my god, if you're funny? let's talk/get married/eat cake/whatever, right meow. funny people are superior people, maaaan.
-you have weirdo hobbies that you're insanely passionate about... because same
-you're not concerned by the fact that I can reference a whitest kids u'know sketch for almost any given situation
-you like doggies... or animals in general. I have two Great Danes, and many other pets (ask :))
-you like putting baked goods in your mouthhole and eating them, cuz I do that a lot. make them I mean. well, I eat them too... but I'll share if you're a cool guy.
-you want a penpal OR you're not in a rush to meet me. stranger danger, son.
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