I value deep friendship over infatuative romance - the latter is best when it's an overlay to the former. I'm always looking for the better combination of nutrients and light that can make relationships (both friendships and romance) truly thrive instead of bloom-and-fade.
For me, intelligence is the best aphrodisiac, as long as it's served with a slyly wicked sense of humor on the side. Stimulating conversation sprinkled with flirtatious banter leading to, well, you have an imagination, don't you?
I am now twice-divorced, which is to say that I'm not afraid of commitment, but also that I'm a bit skittish about my own judgement in this area, considering my track record. It's not that I don't learn from my mistakes; I just want to make *different* ones the next few times. You can help me with that, right?
I like being in my 40's and being "seasoned." I'm confounding people who thought they knew me because I'm still evolving.
More about my background: Having been raised as a conservative Jehovah's Witness, I woke up and became a devout agnostic, spending my mid-20's waiting tables in semi-exotic locales like Hawaii, Las Vegas, and Washington D.C., before settling into an IT career here in the San Francisco Bay area in '95. Probably to spite my repressed religious upbringing, I walk comfortably in many of the "alternative" scenes that San Francisco has to offer, know lots of people in them, and can jump into just about any rabbit hole with an eye towards learning what lies through the looking glass. From burners to sybarites, I mix well (and have friends in) nearly every crowd. Well, except gangsta rappers. But give me time...
Other relevant facts:
I'm a voracious reader of non-fiction, and enjoy some of that HBO cleverness.
I'm an extrovert who understands why introverts might not want to join me for all the social events that come along, all the better if there are themes and costumes involved at those events.
I'd rather go to a burlesque performance than a strip club.
A quiet weekend working on creative projects punctuated by dinner with friends is my usual speed these days, but I'm usually good for a spontaneous adventure if your pitch for it is enticing.
Just left-of-center politically, I am always interested in learning about possible solutions to make the world a better place.
I'm addicted to podcasts mainly because I love hearing articulate discussion about issues important and frivolous.
I am an ENTP, with a well-developed F side (my parents were incredibly gregarious feeling-types, and I learned social cues by watching them work a room)
The price for leaving the cult that I grew up in was losing all the family and friends I had up to that point at age 22. That makes me extra-appreciative of the circles of very different but equally valuable friends I've been lucky to become entwined with since then, bless their little black hearts, and I am secretly more proud of that than anything else in my life. I know this is the second time I've mentioned "friends" in this profile but I wish I could mention them here in the way some people list their favorite bands or writers because that's the impact they've had on my life for the better.
I believe card games are best played as a prelude to sex, because no matter how many times I may see you naked, it'll never be quite as sweet as when I win that tawdry hand of strip gin rummy and you have to take an article of clothing off to satisfy the bet.