I think infatuative romance is overrated and deep friendship is underrated.
For me, intelligence is the best aphrodisiac, as long as it's served with a slyly wicked sense of humor on the side. Stimulating conversation sprinkled with flirtatious banter leading to, well, you have an imagination, don't you?
I am now twice-divorced, which is to say that I'm not afraid of commitment, but also that I'm a bit skittish about my own judgement in this area, considering my track record. It's not that I don't learn from my mistakes; I just make *different* ones ;-)
I like being in my 40's and being "seasoned." I'm confounding people who thought they knew me because I'm still evolving.
More about my background: Having been raised as a conservative Jehovah's Witness, I woke up and became a devout agnostic, spending my mid-20's waiting tables in semi-exotic locales like Hawaii, Las Vegas, and Washington D.C., before settling into an IT career here in the San Francisco Bay area in '95. Probably to spite my repressed religious upbringing, I walk comfortably in many of the "alternative" scenes that San Francisco has to offer, know lots of people in them, and can jump into just about any rabbit hole with an eye towards learning what lies through the looking glass. From burners to sybarites, I mix well (and have friends in) nearly every crowd. Well, except gangsta rappers. But give me time...
Other relevant facts:
I'm a voracious reader of non-fiction, and enjoy some of that HBO cleverness.
I like being around other people in social situations who delight, all the better if there are themes and costumes involved.
I'd rather go to a burlesque performance than a strip club.
A quiet weekend working on creative projects punctuated by dinner with friends is my usual speed, but I will often jump down rabbit holes because they look fun.
Just left-of-center politically, I am totally obsessed with learning about possible solutions to make the world a better place.
I'm addicted to podcasts mainly because I love hearing articulate discussion about issues important and frivolous.
I am an ENTP, with a well-developed F side (my parents were incredibly gregarious feeling-types, and I learned social cues by watching them work a room)
I am blessed with a few circles of very different but equally valuable friends who adore me, bless their little black hearts, and I am secretly more proud of that than anything else.
I believe card games are best played as a prelude to sex, because no matter how many times I may see you naked, it'll never be quite as sweet as when I win that tawdry hand of strip gin rummy and you have to take an article of clothing off to satisfy the bet.