For me, intelligence is the best aphrodisiac, as long as it's served with a playful sense of humor on the side. Stimulating conversation sprinkled with flirtatious banter leading to, well, you have an imagination, don't you?
I am now twice-divorced, which is to say that I'm not afraid of commitment, but also that I'm a bit skittish about my own judgement in this area, considering my track record. It's not that I don't learn from my mistakes; I just want to make *different* ones the next few times. You can help me with that, right?
I like being in my 40's and being "seasoned." I'm confounding people who thought they knew me because I'm still evolving.
More about my background: Having been raised as a conservative Jehovah's Witness, I woke up and became a devout agnostic, spending my mid-20's waiting tables in semi-exotic locales like Hawaii, Las Vegas, and Washington D.C., before settling into an IT career here in the San Francisco Bay area in '95. Probably to spite my repressed religious upbringing, I walk comfortably in many of the "alternative" scenes that San Francisco has to offer, know lots of people in them, and can jump into just about any rabbit hole with an eye towards learning what lies through the looking glass. From burners to sybarites, I mix well (and have friends in) nearly every crowd. Well, except gangsta rappers. But give me time...
Other relevant facts:
I'm an extrovert who understands why introverts might not want to join me for all the social events that come along. (And all the better if there are themes and costumes involved at those events :-) Speaking of Myers-Briggs, I am an ENTP, with a well-developed F side (my parents were incredibly gregarious feeling-types, and I learned social cues by watching them work a room)
I love quiet weekends working on projects punctuated by dinner with friends, but I'm also good for a spontaneous and decadent adventure when the mood strikes.
Just left-of-center politically, I am always interested in learning about possible solutions to make the world a better place.
The price for leaving the cult that I grew up in was losing all the family and friends I had up to that point at age 22. That makes me extra-appreciative of the circles of very different but equally valuable friends I've been lucky to become entwined with since then and I am secretly more proud of that than anything else in my life. I know this is the second time I've mentioned "friends" in this profile but I wish I could highlight them here in the way some people list their favorite bands or writers because that's the impact they've had on my life for the better.
I've recently finally found my body/mind/spirit balance. I used to run but never got the runner's high. Then I recently discovered exercise needed to be social for me and found three people to do strength training and cardio with (and a change of diet helped too.) And a necessary spiritual (not religious) "rebalancing" that completed that centering.
I believe card games are best played as a prelude to sex, because no matter how many times I may see you naked, it'll never be quite as sweet as when I win that tawdry hand of strip gin rummy and you have to take an article of clothing off to satisfy the bet.