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28 Portland, OR Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 19–45
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 9:13pm
6′ 1″ (1.86m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Atheism, and laughing about it
Pisces, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Poorly), French (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
You've probably never even heard of me.

INSTAGRAM: mwtriest
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Trying to find the perfect Adele dubstep remix.

edit: Lana del Rey dubstep remix.

edit: Lorde dubstep remix.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Washing my facial hair trimmings down the sink and putting the toilet seat down.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Extremely anti-chubwubbling.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
War and Peace, A Confederacy of Dunces, A River Runs Through It, The Brothers Karamazov, Lolita, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, East of Eden, The Father's Tale, Cannery Row

Breaking Bad, Always Sunny, The Simpsons

The Helio Sequence, M83, Black Keys, Los Lobos, Kendrick Lamar, Frank Ocean, Animal Collective, SBTRKT, Kings of Leon, Deadmau5, Foxygen, Glass Candy, Adele Dubstep Remixes, Future Oceans, Willie Nelson, Bob Marley, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones

I love sushi, caprese salad, anything with avocado in it, the occasional steak, collard greens and brussels sprouts.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. A notebook and my childlike sense of wonder.
2. Red wine
3. beeeeeer
4. Sushi
5. Basketball
6. My brother
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Why are there ladybugs but no manbugs?

How pictures taken in the mirror in the bathroom are never sexy because I can see the toilet behind you and that's where you poop and that's not sexy.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Curled up in the fetal position listening to Adele dubstep remixes. Writing "The Mindy Project" fanfiction. Sometimes both.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I don't really like Macklemore. Fuck me right?
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're tired of "cuddling" with your cat. Jesus fucking christ.


Don't message me if you're just looking for sex. You're gonna have to do more than that to get into these hot little panties.


You don't have to be rich to be my girl
You don't have to be cool to rule my world.


You want to watch Girls with me.