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40 Salt Lake City, UT Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 30–45
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 10:39am
6′ 2″ (1.88m)
Body type
Atheism, and very serious about it
Pisces, but it doesn’t matter
Dropped out of university
Rather not say
Open relationship
Strictly non-monogamous
Has kids
Has dogs and has cats
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hello there! I am one half of a polyamorous couple; so yes I'm a deviant, a pervert, and a degenerate. But no, I am not looking for any NSA hook-ups, nor are we Unicorn Hunters. It's ok, you're safe, you can message me and I wont start evaluating your bedroom potential. If I message you it's most likely entirely innocent. Maybe. Honestly, I'm not likely to initiate contact as my rather unorthodox lifestyle isn't for everyone. But if you think you can handle it, even if you are interested in just chatting, please, by all means say hello!

I'm a slightly scruffy carpenter, and a big ol' geek. I enjoy classic rock (and punk and funk and folk and blues), classic literature, SciFi, good bourbon, the outdoors, BBQ and good food.

Coffee is vital to my existence, and I absolutely loathe Starbucks. I don't like what they have done to coffee; it's is not a shake, nor should it be received through a drive-through, it's not fast food.

I wave at the kids in cars next to me.

I taught my daughters to love dancing in the rain. And how to kill Zombies.

I would rather eat a hamburger than a steak, and think that french fries deserve their own food group. I also make the world's greatest garlic burger. Just sayin'.

I'm secretly very happy Neil DeGrasse Tyson has become so popular. This generation needs a new Carl Sagan. We need people to become excited about science again, the anti-intellectual theist group has become far to vocal. I abhor willful ignorance.

If you have a profile pic featuring your dog kissing you, especially if it's a bully breed, I WILL 'like' you, no matter our Match %, it's inevitable, I cannot resist a woman who adores her dog. Unless it's a twitchy purse dweller. Dogs should be dogs, not dolls.

Please, don't be bland. Have strong opinions, knee jerk reactions, and occasional bouts of insanity. I prefer to meet people who have lived life and were scarred by it. Emotional baggage makes people more interesting.

* Yes I am Polyamorous, which means I cannot, will not, be your One And Only, neither will I ask you for casual sex. I am married to a wonderful woman, Bayanilicious. We are not Unicorn hunters, though we are open to the FMF dynamic, and just got out of a two year long triad. I am on here mostly looking for my own relationships. *

I won't offer you the moon and stars, but I will lay on the grass with you looking up at them.

I also currently 'off the market', my dance card is full, I have no room for any more romantic or sexual relationships. I do have room for more friends, though, so please feel free to message me.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
House. Job. Kids.
Summer is almost here again, and I once again have more projects than I can handle. Expanding garden, figuring out how to keep chickens OUT of the garden, and expanding my apriary this year. May I just say bees are awesome? Yes, I have quite the little farm tucked away in my my little city lot. I would have goats if the city would allow it...
I enjoy writing, and I've finally finished my novel. Woot. Now, I am shopping around for an agent and publisher and hoping to get a few short stories published as well.
Second novel is progressing, though not as quickly as I would like.
Also started work on my Wood Fired Brick Pizza Oven. So far, only footings are complete. The associated deck/pergola is now done. And it's a nice deck. Good for entertaining. All it needs now to be perfect is a pizza oven. Or a few curvy, scantily women lounging about.
Somehow, despite my best intentions, I have started running. I refuse to admit I'm a runner, I just, um, go running 3 or 4 times a week. I'm in better shape at 40 than I was at 39, and I hope to be in even better shape at 41.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Carpentry. Cheesecakes and Waffles
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Long Haired Hippy Freak. And I've been accused of being 'irrepressible cheerful'
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Dylan(Thomas and Bob). Burtton. Elfman. Pork. 'Nuff said.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My Kids. Literature. Led Zepplin. Sunsets. Thunderstorms. Back rubs.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Goblins and elves. I write fantasy and SciFi. Yes, Im a geek.
What to put in my BBQ rub.
Teaching my kids to survive the Zombie Apocalypse.
And boobs, I like boobs.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Either sitting on my porch, beer in hand, enjoying the evening breeze, ranting political; or hopefully meeting new and interesting people(preferably ones with boobs) for new and interesting conversations.
Saturday night is reserved for tequila and D20's.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm a DnD geek. Ive been playing since highschool, and still play every saturday. Don't worry, this is a good thing. Geeks know how to treat a lady.

I have a serious dimple fetish.

I spend way too much time contemplating ways to alter recipes, replacing water with beer. Pizza dough, pancakes, everything. It's all better with beer. Chocolate Stout Cake, Beer Cream Pie made with Guinness, and Beeramisu.

I am deeply offended by shredded cheese in a bag.

I love literature, but rarely make time to read anything serious, and most often just end up with cheap Sci/Fi and Fantasy. I'm not nearly as well read as I would like to be.

I still wear torn jeans, flannel and worn out Chucks. Yup, I'm the Stuck in the 90's Grunge Guy.

I wish I could be Anthony Bourdain... That cat has a pretty cool life.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you have something interesting to say or have strong opinions about anything. Or if you have a nice rack... hey, I admitted to being a perv right from the start.
If you get irritated at excessive use of lols and text-speak. If you type out 'you' in stead of 'u' even in texts. Seriously, you would not believe the number of messages that I receive that consist of little more than 'Hi', 'lol' and 'what do you want to know?' Please, oh gawd please have something interesting to say!
If you care whether or not Matt Smith is a better Doctor than David Tenant. He's not, by the way.
If you like spanking or light bondage.
I have strong opinions on everything from religion to politics to food to sexuality, and if you are put off by me expressing them you won't like me. I'm not an ass, I just get excitable about things I am passionate about, which is almost everything. I refuse to hold back and be polite for the sake of not offending anyone. If you have strong opinions as well, contrary to mine or not, I will likely form a huge crush on you and will worship the ground you walk upon, and will woo you with food.