Find better matches with our advanced matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy

mysafewordisouch

30 M San Francisco, CA

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 7:31pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Hispanic / Latin, White
Height
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Mostly vegetarian
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Agnosticism, but not too serious about it
Sign
Sagittarius, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Dropped out of university
Job
Science / Engineering
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Mostly non-monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Poorly), Spanish (Fluently), Italian (Poorly), Chinese (Poorly), C++ (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
HEY DOPE-ASS INTERNET WOMEN:

Are you at the office 23 hours a day toiling away your youth in a caffeine fueled, fluorescent lit race to squeeze every last bit of achievement ahead of a ticking biological clock?

Are you wondering if there's more to life in SF than brunch, Bikram Yoga, and getting rubbed up on by 50 strangers at the farmers' market?

Are you unfulfilled sexually?

I AM YOUR INTERNET DATE.

I am the most radical, bitchin’, mind-blowing internet-dating experience in ALL of San Francisco. All Internet honeys are STOKED when I’m around, regardless of race or socioeconomic status.

You will be on me like an Oakland hipster on a fixed gear bicycle by the time we've had our fourteenth drink.

As we're ascending toward your gentrified apartment, up those fifty flights of booty-toning stairs, yo' horny ass fingers are going to be texting your roommate, "Yo girl, pretend that you're asleep."

Do I do relationships?

YOU BET YOUR VEGAN GLUTEN FREE ASS I DO. (If I like you.)
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Born on the East Coast. Living on the West Coast. Try-coastal.

OkCupid says I have bad manners, am arrogant, and am not romantic, but I prefer to think I'm just misunderstood.

For work, I "holla for that dolla" in the tech sector (cloud computing).
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Tearing up dance floors and exploring ideas to their logical extremes.

Also, running. Preferably not in circles. And toward, not away from things.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Obviously my RAW TESTOSTERONE MUSK.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Reading "Love in the Time of Cholera" expanded my repertoire of emotions. Márquez is a genius.

I also enjoy reading internet dating profiles. I think they're an interesting medium.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Sunny days, bicycles, books, the produce aisle, access to natural bodies of water, and occasionally, YO' MOMMA.

"I can't live without my passport" is the new "I love long walks on the beach."
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
That's more of an in-person thing.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
As you can see from my profile photographs, I tend to spend my Friday nights knitting and exploring the depths of the personalities of my many, many cats.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I had a near death experience recently (unintentionally).

I highly recommend having one if you need a quick, no bullshit evaluation of how you're doing.

Also, I'm going to come clean and admit that I shop at farmers' markets, bicycle commute, work in tech, go bouldering several times/ week, mountain bike, own dj'ing equipment, enjoy traveling to developing countries, regularly go to Burning Man (but only one of my profile photos is from Burning Man), don't own a television, and occasionally dabble in veganism.

I preferred living in the East Bay, but moved to SF to be within bicycling distance of work. Yet unlike most young people in this city, I live alone.

I tried the communal living thing, but prefer the privacy and grown-up-ness that solo living offers.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 21–41
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you are considering copying and pasting entire segments of my profile. Or if you feel nervous messaging me, wondering whether meeting me would make the rest of your internet dating experiences worthwhile.

Or if the following words would rarely be used to describe you: bored, boring, codependent, conservative, religious ("spiritual" is cool though), dramalicious.

Or on the more affirmative side of things, note that I'm both:

a) a feminist, and:

b) independently confident enough in my own masculinity to appreciate good things in my vicinity without feeling threatened.

So feel free to be:

c) smarter, taller, funnier, more athletic, more successful, more privileged, more carnivorous, a better writer, more informed-on-a-topic-that-I-have-an-opinion-on, etc etc than I am.

It won't faze me one bit.

I still reserve the right to have more facial and chest hair, however.

Since it's San Francisco and there is such a wide spectrum here of views on relationships and emotional expression, every profile should have a section that explicitly discusses views on relationships. Here's mine:

I base practically all of my relationship decisions on how someone makes me feel when I'm around them and or thinking of them. Whether it's a (temporarily) exclusively monogamous relationship, an ethically non-monogamous relationship, a just-friends relationship, a let's-not-use-labels relationship, or a one night stand, what I care about is empathy, great connection, and mutual admiration.

Even though I am a grown ass man, I still get butterflies when someone I'm crushing on gives me a kiss on the cheek. If we're going to keep it real for a second, that's the wavelength I'm on and what I find meaningful.

From an emotional intelligence perspective, unless I'm truly unaware of an emotion that I'm feeling, you can count on me to express my feelings (or lack of feelings) honestly, openly, and directly.

But not inappropriately or overbearingly. I try to draw the line somewhere between sending a "thumbs up" emoji and crying during sex.

While the above is all true, note that I am not above selling myself out in a conventionally transactional relationship. Please feel more than free to message me regardless of how conservative and religious you are if you're in the middle of planning a blow-out trip around the world and your personal masseur/ chaperone backed out. I have two passports, so you won't have to use up any favors getting me into any countries on your itinerary that have sour relations with the United States. And I usually travel without luggage, so we can fit more of your stuff in carry-on in case the market tanks and we need to fly commercial (just saying).

Congratulations. We've now reached the end of my internet dating advértisement. So ACT NOW. Write me. And we'll get started on making you happier than a Mormon on her honeymoon.

Fín.